feel like sons ex is my new Difficult Child

[BusynMember]

Just a vent. Nobody can really help, but posting helps me.

Bart got junior today after his five days off. Now he has him for his five days. Junior's mother has not told him that he will be continuing to go to his old school. He still thought he was going to the new school and was upset. This, although ex was court ordered to 're enroll him in his old school or be found in contempt. And she did! But God forbid she let her son in on the news.
Although it is a temp hearing until October, it is unlikely this same judge who saw ex in action the first time will yank junior out of his status quo school but although she never wins and has minimal money she NEVER accepts defeat.
She hired a low end lawyer who has unethical practices against her own clients on her record. My son has one of the best possibly in the state with a lot of respect and tons of positive client feedback. Bart is trying to get his address as the custodial one. Junior has been tossed around enough and doesn't need to switch schools. Ex has moved five times since divorce.
Bart is such a nice little boy. I feel so bad for him. I know there is nothing I can do.

 

[Freedom08]

It sounds like the ex is more focussed on "winning" instead of what's best for the child. Big hugs. It sounds like she is making things worse for herself every day.

 

[SuZir]

Oh, it hoovers that your son and his ex seem to be unable to compromise and co-parent well and are so focused on winning over each other. I hope that they will soon understand that instead of lawyers and courts they should concentrate on providing a stable parenting for Junior and show respect for each other so Junior will not feel that mom and dad hate each other and think lowly of each other.

Parents fighting is so very hard for a little kid and it is so very hard to keep from kids. While I'm sure Bart would not for example call you and vent or tell about custody issues while Junior is in the house nor imply anything bad about his mother to him, kids still tend to know. And it seems that Junior's mother may not be trusted to not show her displeasure over custody issues to Junior. When parents paint each other black, they simply are not able to hide it from the kids even when they try their very best. And because kids tend to love, be loyal and identify with bothy parents, it sends also them a really nasty message.

 

[BusynMember]

I agree, Suzir.

Ex has proven not willing to co-parent. Bart has been. She even got slapped down in court. Her mo seems she is trying to take Bart away from him. She doesn't want him to have 50/50. She wants soul custody.

Bart never says anything in front of Junior. Of course he knows both parents don't like one another t hough. That is impossible to hide. They do not fight iin front of him. My son never talks to his ex anymore. They communicate on something called the Family Wizard, which the court can access. Ex was recording all their phone calls, which turned out to be a waste of time on her part.

Ex ran off w ith another man while she was married to Bart. She is a piece of work.

Even therapy did not change anything. My son is pretty quiet so she spent sessions bashing him, even when the therapist told her to calm down. Mediation...same thing.

There are times you can't co-parent, which is why there may be a change of custody. Ex has a bad rep with the judge as she has been in contempt many times.

 

[BusynMember]

It sounds like the ex is more focussed on "winning" instead of what's best for the child. Big hugs. It sounds like she is making things worse for herself every day.

Well, even when they were married, she only wanted Junior to see her side of the family and was rude to us. This is no surprise. To her, he is a possession and he is very afraid when he is there, especially of stepfather. Stepfather has slapped him around his face, but since there were no marks, Bart couldn't do anything and Junior said he won't tattle on stepdad because "Mom will really be mad at me and I'll get into so much trouble."

So we wait.

 

[Lil]

You're right, we can't really help. But we're here for you.

 

[BusynMember]

I know, Lil. I know I can trust all of you and I care for you all so much for it.

Sometimes just a good vent feels good!!!