PG--
Many, many (((Hugs)))...
I'm sorry to hear the boyfriend is trying this - but, really...can you honestly say you're surprised?
It takes a lot of STENGTH and GUTS to go the "Tough-Love" route. It's a hard choice to make...and trying to do the right thing for another human being takes a lot of COURAGE. In addition, the boyfriend would have to be HONEST and admit his own RESPONSIBILITY for the drug and alacohol abuse. Know what I mean??
difficult child is calling him and crying....crying that she wants to be home....crying that she misses him...
And of course, he misses her, too. He wants to be with her!
It's much MUCH easier to promise that he will do everything he can to get her out of jail ASAP...than to have a tough conversation about doing the right and responsible thing.
Honestly? I'll bet he was hoping you were going to jump in halfway through his sentence and offer to pay for (at least) half the cost of the lawyer. That's why he told you the lawyer was saying all good things - it was supposed to be good news! You were supposed to be SOOO relieved that he found a guy known for getting folks with drug issues out of jail...
He didn't know you weren't looking for easy answers!
And sadly, difficult child is going to find no end of people who are willing to enable and take the easy road, rather than asking her to be accountable.
I'm so sorry, PG. Hopefully, his financial limitations will prevent the lawyer thing from actually happening...