Fingers crossed, bead rattling etc.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SuZir, Nov 13, 2014.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Ache's agent has called him with the good news for the change. Ache's career situation has been challenging both from sport perspective and even more so personal life/character development/mental health treatment perspective lately. Now he has been approached by the team that is interested of making him a long term project for them. If all goes well, they will buy out Ache's current contract and sign him in near future.

    This option would be great sport wise, end Ache's journeyman days (though he would still continue team hopping a bit this year, there would be a commitment to this team), give him a possibility to continue working the kinks out of his game and be in position there his development is a priority to his coaches instead of just taking any service they need out from him.

    And while all that would of course be nice, and that is what Ache is excited about, the bigger thing is, that this would make it possible for Ache to settle down. Even if playing for several teams this season, those teams and cities would be close by; an hour ride and so on. And that actually means ability to make some longer term plans for his therapy etc. And it does get even better. The person who wants Ache, and who has pull to make it happen, is one of those, who actually know Ache and his issues quite well. Do know about his mental health issues etc. He has made it clear, that they will insist the contract clause for Ache to follow the treatment plan his psychiatrist recommends.

    Funny thing is, that this person is quite a top of list of people who would have no reason to make any favours to Ache. One whom Ache really let down in the past. He has been good to Ache even after it and he seems to like Ache, but I'm still surprised he would be willing to take a risk with Ache again. Of course he is one of those who best know Ache's potential too.

    When it comes to issues related to mental health etc. sport world in general is usually really good at raising awareness. And when something is going on amongst their own, they are very supportive from distance. If things in that field come up, you can prepare to massive load of supportive messages is Twitter, even high-ups and your childhood idols reaching out to bat your back and telling how brave you are and how they wish you well. But when it comes to anything more concrete, you will find out that you have apparently been infected by leprosy, that is how far they will go round you. Or if they absolutely have to (like when you are under contract when it comes up) they will tell everyone how they will support you every step on the way - and dump you to some treatment (cheapest they dare to offer) far away from their team as quickly as possible. With good luck that treatment option may actually be a good fit, but it may not (I know about at least one atheist and one Muslim with substance abuse issues who were dumped to very Christian rehab, that on it's own website tells that their first priority is for their patients to find God and sobriety was only the after-effect from that. But hey, it was convenient to the team! Compared to that my son's ill timed coerced GA membership wasn't bad at all. And had he actually had other options to choose from but that one meeting dominated by that whackjob, it probably wouldn't had harmed him much at all.) Ach, sorry for the rant.

    My point is, if this would actually go through, it would be really great. And my faith for human kind would again go up a notch or two because of this guy.
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Here's hoping...
  3. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Wow! That's very exciting news and even more impressive that it comes from someone very familiar with his issues! Makes me wonder if this person has issues of his own or a loved ones that he's dealt with in the past that makes him more empathetic? Regardless, I'll keep my fingers crossed for your difficult child!
  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is kind of great this is someone who knows difficult child well, in good and bad. And while difficult child has caused troubles to this guy, he seems to still have a soft spot for him, or at least sees his potential and is willing to stomach working with him.

    I haven't heard he would had had this type of issues himself or any of his loved ones (of course wouldn't likely know about them) but he does have personal, and I'm sure painful, experience of getting caught by that 'case of leprosy' I mentioned. For different reason than difficult child, he was accused of something bad he didn't do and it took time to prove himself innocent (by the way, that is something that is very hard to do even when you are, he got really lucky in that one. If it would had ended up with 'not enough evidence to prove him guilty' like it easily could had, the 'leprosy' would had stuck. But he was actually able to prove himself innocent.)

    They are talking about approaching this as any other health risk, that is actually very favourable for difficult child. Often sport teams are ready to hire people with well known health risks and very spotty seasons. But somehow mental health is so much worse to them than person with concussion history or back or knee issues, even though player with back issues would had missed one third of the season five seasons a row. Of course difficult child did miss several weeks this season, but last season I think he missed one game because of the cold and season before that he missed couple weeks, which is less than average I think. But of course chronic health issues do make him a risk, but maybe not that much a bigger risk than someone with some other health issue.
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  5. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Awesome! Not only would difficult child get stability he would get it with someone who knows him and about the "leprosy" that is so common. Someone who from personal experience would know just how hard it is to change things once they are out there.
  6. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Yay! This got signed! Wohoo!

    Of course because nothing is ever simple when it comes to difficult child and he is in quite a jam with logistics right now. He needs to get himself to a city A and from there to city B at Friday morning. He is currently in city C and has his stuff, that he needs with him, are either there in couple different places (and other of those places he is currently banned from going so he has to get someone else to bring the stuff) or in city D and some even in city E. And some here at home. Add distances from 40 miles to 400 miles between these cities. Add the fact, that it just started snowing in some parts of that triangle so the car he has been driving went both unsafe and illegal to drive (winter tires are in city F and without them, it is against the law drive it in winter conditions even outside of the months when winter tires are required despite the conditions.) And his last team is having a norovirus outbreak and he too was caught with the bug (hence the ban mentioned earlier) so he is currently sick.

    Lucky thing is, that he is young man in his twenties with that typical to them belief, that goes against all reason, that matters will sort themselves out somehow. And miraculously they often seem to do just that, if you believe hard enough.

    I would get a nervous breakdown and headache of the century just trying to figure out logistics of thing like that. Great thing of course is, that I don't need to (because my stuff would never be all around like that nor would I be so blissfully unprepared.)
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  7. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    LOL - yep life is grand in the world of difficult child logistics. HEHEHE

    Hey I say focus on the good stuff. He probably doesn't need all that "stuff" right this second. Maybe you and husband could get some of the "stuff" that is local/within 50 miles together and let difficult child get some of the other "stuff" that is further away together. Since you guys aren't currently banned from anywhere (that I know of) maybe you could get access to some things he cant. Also could he get a rental car with snow tires and use it to drive to get the "stuff" where the tires are. Then he could bring the stuff and the tires back.

    OMG did you see what i just did. My husband is a logistics officer. I just started speaking logistics. ARGH!!! I have got to stop working in his world or I am going to go to the dark side and start speaking military logistics. LOL

    PS: If you are banned from somewhere I really need to know what for :p Just kidding. I think I am hopped up on caffeine today and way to peppy. Just delete my post from your mind.
  8. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Dstc: Heh, my plan is more on the line of: When he calls at Sunday, I will ask how did it go...

    Okay, if he actually needs out help, he will call and ask and I assume I will end up packing things he needs from home/close by and sending them to him/delivering them to someone who is going to drive there for some other reason and have room in their car for difficult child's stuff. And husband did tell him to just buy new snow tires instead of trying to get old ones that according to difficult child were not in great shape and promised to pay them to difficult child. But the rest, I'm sure difficult child is equipped to figure it out and to do it better than we would. difficult child is one of those irritating people, who quickly peak over your shoulder a logic puzzle that you have tried to figure out last half an hour and rapidly tell you next 15 moves you need to make to solve it. And while handling difficult child's and Joy's schedules over last 10+ years have made me quite rehearsed in planning impossible logistics I'm sure difficult child's natural knack for it overrides my experience. And even his ban only includes actual locker room and touching anything in there. Someone will surely pack the stuff and bring them to him to the parking lot, if he is able to figure out the time someone who could do it is there and available. They just try to stop that noro bug spreading any more inside the team.

    Well, there actually is this bar... :p Or more likely probably was, haven't heard about it in at least fifteen years. But it was a lifetime ban for incident involving a dare, lost bet, copious amounts of beer, running around sans anything we were not born with and other drunk and disorderly bright ideas. Though some of my co-culprits did appeal successfully for lifting the ban year and half or two year after it. But at that time I was already walking in circles with screaming difficult child on my shoulder, rubbing his back and just hoping he would sleep even fifteen minutes so I could just sit down for the moment. So my barhopping days were pretty much finished for good, so I never appealed for my ban to be lifted. Though somehow I doubt that, if that bar still exists, and I would drag my old bones and wrinkly face there, they would remember or recognise me and my ban any more... :p
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  9. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    LOL I knew you had a wild side :p

    Good for you for letting difficult child stand on his own.
  10. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Seems like he did figure it out. According his social media he is still in quarantine but in the destination city. Will be joining the team he will play for now at Monday and apparently will move out of the motel at same time. difficult child's case of noro was luckily mild, nausea, stomach pain, throwing up anything he tried to eat and so on, but he didn't need to stay in ten feet distance of bathroom so he was actually able to make the move. They want him to have three healthy days in quarantine so that he will not bring the bug with him to this team.

    City he will be now is very small but less than 60 miles away from three big cities and also from the mid size city the parent team is. And one of the big cities is on very easy distance from both this and parent team's city so difficult child's options when it comes to therapists etc. should be rather good. And he is close enough our home that keeping the psychiatrist we found for him is very plausible. difficult child's contract is for this and two next seasons (though the team has a cop out option this spring) so it really seems difficult child will be getting some stability, that we have been hoping for him.

    For now difficult child will lodge with three other guys in, what the others are saying is rather nice and big house. Roommate situations are always a challenge for difficult child but the last one he managed fine. And he has matured a lot from rather catastrophic roommate situation he created when he was 17.

    difficult child did meet parent team's doctor and coaches at Friday and I'm sure I will hear more about that when he calls this afternoon, but his social media postings at least seem content even between the lines. So it seems to be fine.
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  11. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    This is just terrific. I am so happy for your difficult child (he has been through so much this is hopefully going to cheer him up considerably). I am happy for t he family too. I will cheer for him on the field in his new surroundings, even though Id on't know what sport he plays. I will keep a generic cyber banner and wave it in my mind for his success and also as his fan.

    Great opportunity for a hardworking, resilient young man and glad your family can rejoice in this.

    Your family really has that intangible gift of being able to stick together through everything and that is precious.
  12. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member