RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
My friend shared a letter she wrote to her now deceased son and read at his funeral (not sure HOW she got through reading it) but thought I'd share:
Our Dear Son Nick,
Where to begin? We would like to begin at the beginning, but where exactly is that? Would it be the day that you were born? Our beautiful bundle of joy, that was so cherished and loved? Or would it be the first time you were tempted and decided to put a foreign substance into your body that would, from that moment, take over and have more control over you than anything else?
Who knew the fierce love we had for you was not the strongest force you would encounter in your short life? And how could we begin there when we don’t even know when that was happening?
As we sit here today, we still don’t know what happened. Even if we had the details of that first experience would we truly understand?
We know that you did not realize the effect this had on those who loved you. And we are sure you had no clue the pain that the people who loved you endured as we watched you struggle, knowing we could not help. We couldn’t actually make anything better, we were powerless!
Addiction was not our illness, but the effects were shared. We would often hide what we were feeling, we would hide the truth from those around us. We would suffer in shame. We would carry the blame.
We are your parents, you, our gift from god, our responsibility. We thought we could make everything perfect in your life, and we failed. We know this isn’t about us, but we never saw this coming, and if we had, we would have done anything to stop it.
As we lay you to rest today, we take comfort in knowing that you are free from the addiction we call a demon. So until we meet you again, rest easy our beautiful boy, we will love you forever and carry you in our hearts always.
Love you forever Nick
Mom and Dad
Our Dear Son Nick,
Where to begin? We would like to begin at the beginning, but where exactly is that? Would it be the day that you were born? Our beautiful bundle of joy, that was so cherished and loved? Or would it be the first time you were tempted and decided to put a foreign substance into your body that would, from that moment, take over and have more control over you than anything else?
Who knew the fierce love we had for you was not the strongest force you would encounter in your short life? And how could we begin there when we don’t even know when that was happening?
As we sit here today, we still don’t know what happened. Even if we had the details of that first experience would we truly understand?
We know that you did not realize the effect this had on those who loved you. And we are sure you had no clue the pain that the people who loved you endured as we watched you struggle, knowing we could not help. We couldn’t actually make anything better, we were powerless!
Addiction was not our illness, but the effects were shared. We would often hide what we were feeling, we would hide the truth from those around us. We would suffer in shame. We would carry the blame.
We are your parents, you, our gift from god, our responsibility. We thought we could make everything perfect in your life, and we failed. We know this isn’t about us, but we never saw this coming, and if we had, we would have done anything to stop it.
As we lay you to rest today, we take comfort in knowing that you are free from the addiction we call a demon. So until we meet you again, rest easy our beautiful boy, we will love you forever and carry you in our hearts always.
Love you forever Nick
Mom and Dad
