Getting thru sleepless nites?

[DammitJanet]

Oh ...and no no no...not the same trailer...they would have all separate trailers!

The deal is this guy is some church dude who bought up a bunch of run down, broken down, beat up, junked trailers. What he does is offer them to the down and out people who really have no where else to go if they are willing to agree to pay the lot rent and do the repairs on the trailers. If you do the repairs and pay the lot rent for 5 years then you own the trailer. Not a bad deal if you think about it at all. Corys trailer is a 95 I think. 3 bed, 2 full baths. Not a bad layout at all. Its probably 14 foot wide by maybe 70. Its not that small. It has a nice sized living room and kitchen but the cabinets could stand to be remodeled. It has a nice laundry room if he ever gets those things. This place could be made quite nice over the next 5 years if he so decided. At the end of that time he could look for a small piece of land to move it on. All because someone gave him a chance for 125 a month plus fixing it up.

Not a bad deal.

 

[Cindijh]

Hi...
Don't post here often, but saw this thread and thought I would post what helped me a lot this summer when we were in the thick of my daughter running away, and running away, and running away....five times in all over a period of about 5 weeks. She had given us some problems prior to that but everything went downhill very fast...got involved with drugs, her useless loser boyfriend broke up with her. It was a roller coaster ride...

Things are somewhat better. My mantra is something I heard quoted here on this message board. I am cautiously optimistic.

But anyway...right before everything went down the crapper, I read Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth. I really liked it...so I listened to all the Oprah podcasts and have since read his other books. The main gist of his teaching? The Power of Now (which is another book he authored) Dwelling as much as possible in the now. Because "now" is really all we have. The past is gone, the future is not here yet. What helped me the most during Beth's dissapearances and subsuquent crazy behavior? (Well, the grace of God formost...you know that peace that passeth all understanding the Bible talks about. I experienced that) But in the book the question it asks is.....what is your problem now...right now...not ten minutes from now...not an hour from now...not tomorrow. Right now, this minute? And oftentimes...even though there were upcoming obstacles and wild imaginings, there was not anything I had to deal with or solve that very moment. It helped me. Also...at the urging of my counselor, I read David Burns book called "Feeling Good" and was introduced to Cognitive Behavior Therapy. That was an eye opener for sure...and it helped in some ways.

I'm sorry for all you guys are going through. I am in neutral land right now....you know...cautiously optimistic Cindi.....

 

[slsh]

I don't know if NC would still exist after a week of Cory, Dude, and thank you all in the same general geography!!!! No telling *what* those boys could come up with together.... but probably they'd be at each others throats in about a half a heartbeat because we all know that each one of them is *the* one who knows it all and is always right. Would be quite a scene I think, LOL. Oh, and Janet? Tyler is just fine, don't you know, and won't be applying for SSI because when the times comes (isn't it here already???) he'll know just exactly how to get a job, apartment, and life.

Cindy, I'm a big fan of CBT after my own meltdown several years ago. Probably 95% of the time it works really well for me - it's those dark wee hours of the morning when I have a hard time maintaining the discipiline that CBT really calls for. I really try to stay in the present but we're in the cycle right now where thank you is in a situation that just seems stalemated and when I can't *fix* a problem, I obsess. We've been through this cycle many times before and will be again, I'm sure. I'm just getting worse at surviving it intact I think.

I think I either accomplished something today or opened one whopper of a hornet's nest. Spent literally 6 hours yesterday (no kidding) composing a letter outlining my concerns, where I think TLP has dropped the ball especially since they sabotaged my efforts when I tried to move him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in March, yada yada yada ... anyway, so I had to double check credentials on one of my cc: people and I just happened to find a "transition service coordinator" for thank you's grant. Being the bold woman I am, I just called him right up and left a message. I talked to him 3 times today, probably close to a total of 2 hours, and the last half hour he conferenced in a guy who is a contract something or other for DMH (which administers the grant). These guys were asking right-on questions, were hearing me, were blunt about reality (I can take blunt right now - prefer it), and were pretty ticked that a minor child is not being supervised. The contract guy just cracked me up - "Hmmm, thank you's been in 3 RTCs and 1 TLP, has spent 12 weeks of the last 8.5 years living at home? I guess he's pretty much proved he's not going to do anything he doesn't want to!" Uh, yeah. So I'm mailing 4-page letter to.... I think we're up to 8 people with- various agencies, LOL, and contract guy is calling head of TLP program and will be conferencing me in sometime in the next several days. Should be interesting. The biggest problem is thank you's refusal to accept "services" while at the same time refusing to do anything on his own. I keep humming that old Rush song..."If you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice". He doesn't get it.

Bottom line, the goal is to keep him out of shelters and jail. Did you ever *ever* in your wildest dreams think these would be your ambitions for your kid? Way back when, when we were fretting over IEPs and meltdowns and therapy? Somehow, even my negative Nelly self thought that by the time our boys were at least *looking* like men, the ride would be smoother. I never never *never* imagined we'd be where we are now. Sigh... Ladies, it's been one heck of a long ride on this rollercoaster, but I have to tell you - I am so completely thankful that the company is so good.

 

[Steely]

seriously.........just going through one of these myself..........xanax. it literally stops that flight or fight panic response, and causes our bodies to become in line again.

last night i was where you were, and had it not been for xanax i would have been hyperventilating all night and pacing the floors.

i wish i could say it was some amazing homeopathic, herbal, mind/body remedy...........but sometimes we have to use the medications, just like our difficult children.

hugs.
steely

 

[Steely]

I keep humming that old Rush song..."If you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice". He doesn't get it.

Uh..........my favorite song............ever. And oh, so right on the money.

Please see my post "extended custody". Do you think that would be beneficial? Because it would certainly be applicable.