I haven't had a relationship with my 42 year ok'd daughter for a year now but for the exception of making arrangements to see my grandson and to argue via texts. We cannot communicate over the phone because she talks over me, and she yells when I don't agree. She claims I'm trying to start a fight when I'm not and her recent charge was I was harassing her via texts but him only responding to her texts with comments of my own.
I am so conflicted. I know she wants to reconnect. She wanted to a couple of times, we try and it ends up in a huge fight. I want my daughter back but I know without a doubt I will be here again within a year because she won't change. The demands , the guilt trips and the control will rear its ugly head again. The ostrasizing of her father will continue and I'm once again stuck in the middle. I suffered and still am but There is one thing that I know, I will not survive a repeat. That's why I'm too afraid to try,
Our last fight started in her misreading my text, concluding that I wanted a reconciliation. Once I corrected her then she got extremely abusive. My daughter if 42 years of age told me to F---k off twice and told me if I tried to contact her again she woukd have me. Charged with harassment. I totally lost it because that's the first time she said that to me and I reacted and acted so badly and so out of character for me. I told her she was dead to me and told her that she no longer and the right to call me mom and her father Dad. I texted her friend who played an important part towards our estrangement and gave it to her. I held it together for a year and took pride for the mist part on keeping myself in check and trying to rise above my daughters behavior. . But I lost it with the most repugnant word that I know and up to this point my children who are almost middle age would never say it in my presence except for now. I texted her and apologized without making excuses for the awful things I said but I can't apologize for what I said to her friend. Now I worry if I completely severed our relationship.
My therapist also suggested that my daughter maybe suffering from borderline personality disorder when I explained my daughters behavior. I'm conflicted about that as well brcause she has never been diagnosed but I know she has been on and off seeing a therapist due to unresolved childhood hurts and her behaviorscare that of a person who is suffering from borderline. All I can say , one of her behaviors goes this way, if you upset her enough she has no issue with using her only child to punish the grandparents when we step out of line . One grandmother hasn't been able to see thus child for 4 years now. This child is suffering from anxiety and the loss of his grandmother. My daughter justifies it by saying that she won't be able to hurt him again. She never hurt him in the beginning, She did something very stupid towards the parents, never the child.
I love my daughter but I don't like her. I want her back but I'm too afraid to try,
I am so conflicted. I know she wants to reconnect. She wanted to a couple of times, we try and it ends up in a huge fight. I want my daughter back but I know without a doubt I will be here again within a year because she won't change. The demands , the guilt trips and the control will rear its ugly head again. The ostrasizing of her father will continue and I'm once again stuck in the middle. I suffered and still am but There is one thing that I know, I will not survive a repeat. That's why I'm too afraid to try,
Our last fight started in her misreading my text, concluding that I wanted a reconciliation. Once I corrected her then she got extremely abusive. My daughter if 42 years of age told me to F---k off twice and told me if I tried to contact her again she woukd have me. Charged with harassment. I totally lost it because that's the first time she said that to me and I reacted and acted so badly and so out of character for me. I told her she was dead to me and told her that she no longer and the right to call me mom and her father Dad. I texted her friend who played an important part towards our estrangement and gave it to her. I held it together for a year and took pride for the mist part on keeping myself in check and trying to rise above my daughters behavior. . But I lost it with the most repugnant word that I know and up to this point my children who are almost middle age would never say it in my presence except for now. I texted her and apologized without making excuses for the awful things I said but I can't apologize for what I said to her friend. Now I worry if I completely severed our relationship.
My therapist also suggested that my daughter maybe suffering from borderline personality disorder when I explained my daughters behavior. I'm conflicted about that as well brcause she has never been diagnosed but I know she has been on and off seeing a therapist due to unresolved childhood hurts and her behaviorscare that of a person who is suffering from borderline. All I can say , one of her behaviors goes this way, if you upset her enough she has no issue with using her only child to punish the grandparents when we step out of line . One grandmother hasn't been able to see thus child for 4 years now. This child is suffering from anxiety and the loss of his grandmother. My daughter justifies it by saying that she won't be able to hurt him again. She never hurt him in the beginning, She did something very stupid towards the parents, never the child.
I love my daughter but I don't like her. I want her back but I'm too afraid to try,
