Going to be a hellish few days...

[greenrene]

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) wouldn't surprise me at all. For the first 3 years of her life, she lived primarily with biomom. From time to time, husband (before I met him) would drive to NC, pick her up, and have her spend a week or so with him and his family. While she was with husband and my mother in law, she was very well cared for. With biomom... probably not so much. We don't suspect physical abuse, but there was definitely neglect. Biomom is extremely unstable and can't even take care of herself, much less a baby.

I'm just SO glad that she's finally getting the help she so desperately needs. We've been spinning our wheels with her for years now... I just hope it isn't too late.

 

[buddy]

I'm glad too. For her sake of course, and for the sake of you and your other children. It's wonderful her family has the means.

 

[greenrene]

Well that's that. We all went over to mother in law's to have good-bye cupcakes and soda with difficult child. sister in law and her family were there too. I got all of difficult child's stuff packed, we all hugged good-bye, and we came home. They fly out first thing in the morning, tour the school tomorrow afternoon, enroll difficult child Weds, and fly back Thursday.

difficult child did some testing a little bit ago, and at the preliminary meeting for results (not totally done yet), the lady said that, at age 15, difficult child has the emotional maturity of a 9 year old. I say that's actually somewhat generous, as easy child 1 is 9 and WAY more mature than she is. She has a female cousin who is 7, and it's SO sad to see them together because if you could hear them interact without seeing them, you'd swear it was two 7-year-olds together.

I just hope to goodness that she takes this opportunity to make a better life for herself.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Since responses have been lost, did registration go OK? Are husband and mother in law on their way home now? Hope difficult child settles in and gets all of the help she needs.

 

[greenrene]

Yes - they got difficult child enrolled yesterday, and she spent her first night there last night. husband and mother in law are on a plane home. YAY!

 

[DDD]

Time to exhale.........at last. I'm glad it went well. Hugs DDD

 

[buddy]

Oh great. I hope she does well.

 

[Bunny]

Did they say how she was once they got her there? My fingers are crossed for her.

 

[buddy]

I wondered too. You could start a whole new thread on that I bet! Yikes, I really hope they can reassure her and help her see this is a good thing.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Greenrene, after all these trials and stress, you can finally take a deep breath and begin your new life............I am very happy for you, have a really nice, quiet and peaceful day.............(((HUGS)))

 

[greenrene]

Thanks everyone! Reality hasn't set in yet, I don't think. And I'm a little stressed about their parent coaching/therapy sessions because I'm not exactly willing to fly across the entire country with a young baby... surely there are provisions for certain situations though.

Maybe I'm just having a hormonal day.

I keep learning snippets about various things... like the CPS thing regarding the threats she made against my sister in law. Apparently difficult child said that we had guns and ammo in our gun safe and she could get into it (later recanting that she knew the combination but saying she could get into it using a stethoscope and turning the dial), and that she was going to USE the guns and ammo to shoot her aunt.

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice. She's lucky she didn't get into more trouble for that.

Also, and I don't know much about IQ scores or the rest of the testing she did yet, but apparently her IQ score has remained unchanged since it was last tested. So what was "low-average" several years ago is now "very low/borderline." I don't know what to make of that without knowing more about the testing she did. She is also a notoriously bad tester.

I am continuing therapy for myself. Yesterday the psychiatrist told me that it may be months before I start to really feel "normal." I told him that I don't think I even know what normal feels like. It's been almost 13 years of difficult child hell, really. PTSD, anyone? I know I have it from my upbringing, and now possibly from difficult child.

husband sees no need for himself to go to therapy. But I suppose we all have to operate on our own timetable.

 

[InsaneCdn]

warning on IQ scores... not everybody knows how to read the fine print on scoring, and there are people for whom a composite score (that "one number") cannot be computed. Watch for significant gaps in the sub-scores. Having ONE really high or ONE really low, isn't a problem, but if you have both... the score cannot be computed. (there's other rules too, but I know that one)