Beth,
Let me share my guilty selfish thoughts on the subject. I do *not* want to be thank you's guardian past 18. Realistically, obtaining guardianship would do squat for him. We could not dictate treatment or placement. We couldn't protect him from his choices. At best, we could financially protect him from blowing all his $$$ on ... whatever he spends it on but that's about it... and I cannot see a crispier heck than having him call me daily for $$$.
I do not want him to return home to live after age 18. At that point, he will have had 9 years of Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/supervised living outside my home. He follows rules only when absolutely pushed, money being a huge motivater right now. We've already been there done that. Quite frankly, I'm just plain tired and more than a little frustrated at thank you's continued refusal to even remotely get with- the program.
I don't believe there's such a thing as civil committment anymore, and I'm not sure that guardianship by the state would be any better than him being on his own (sorry, I'm cynical about adult services).
Will he be ready to live independently? I don't know - it's up to him. But it was with the above in mind that we had him discharged from last Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to the TLP. He has the opportunity to learn money management, social skills, job skills, basic living skills. He's mastered public transportation, which he takes advantage of frequently when he goes AWOL. Sigh.
We had his IEP mtg last week. Thank goodness he keeps failing gym, LOL. He's already pushed his graduation date back (based on credits - IEP goals are a whole 'nother story, but his continued cooperation with Special Education is also iffy at this point). *He* doesn't care about what his job will be, has no desire to work, doesn't care where he lives, and apparently hasn't given it a whole lot of thought in spite of husband and me talking to him about it for the last 3 years *and* in spite of the program he's in. It is, in my humble opinion, yet another situation of dragging my horse of a son to the trough and being unable to get him to drink. Heaven help me, I'm tired of it being *our* unsolvable problem. It's time for him to figure it out.
I do think the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) should be able to direct you to transitional/step down programs. They seem to be fairly rare, but they do exist. Another thought is that if she has an IEP, graduation is not necessarily a given at age 18, even if she has the necessary credits. If there are social/emotional/vocational goals on her IEP that she has not met, then the SD needs to continue to fund her education and address those unmet goals. Certainly, if she is unable to live independently, I'd say there are some serious deficits in her education (for argument's sake with- SD). Can she balance a checkbook, plan a menu, make a shopping list? If not, sounds like SD still has some work to do in terms of life skills/transition education.
I don't know, Beth. It's a tough spot to be in. So much of it depends on our kids. I think the hard cold truth is that *they* are the ones who dictate what happens to them, regardless of who has guardianship. Treatment and supervised living cannot be forced on them. We cannot protect them from their choices if they're bound and determined to do their own thing.
What does you daughter think of it all?
the life out of me. 
