I have a Bipolar, anosognostic son, younger than yours, but old enough to consider you "my people". My son used to know he had Bipolar disorder but he's morphed into someone who has decided he's fine, but instead was raised in an abusive home with all kinds of out there confabulations of his "truth" with the theme being me someone who purposely ruined his life.
The positives he is on medications although not the right ones .
My son has been released from the hospital on the wrong medications, numerous times. I made sure they had the background documentation with all of his doctors, hospitalizations, medication history and much more but obviously no one read the info. This stuff drives me crazy. So I guess in jail they are the same.
He has an appointment Monday to start at a outpatient center for his bipolar and adhd.
They "can nether confirm nor deny" but you can send them info. If you know what medications have worked for him in the past and you can relay this info to them. I would try to send it in writing, if you choose to.
Also says he is signing up for ss disability.
This is good, because it will include Medicaid, something that will cover his outpatient visits he so needs if he continues with them.
I was mad at myself but thought if he can't get to medical and jobs or get in touch with them he has no chance.
I don't know why you were mad at yourself. You have not stepped over any lines. Supporting him to get to the doctors and job interviews is supporting him, not enabling him. Now if you bought him a car or a brand new iPhone to do these things then you could be mad at yourself.
I know how tough it is for parents of mentally ill adults. We question everything we do. It all seems like a catch 22. We can't make them do the right thing for themselves and we question every little thing we do for them. We are stuck accepting that the system is set up to let them, make them, fail. It's no longer like the old days when family members could tackle someone and bring them to the hospital to have them admitted and kept against their will until the right medications are found and start to work for them to clear their minds enough for them to move forward in life. One thing I hold onto is ~~ when my son's father told me he knew he wasn't acting right, he knew he needed help, no matter what he was saying and doing, and he knew at that point in his life he had to make it happen himself.
He did, he functions very well these days, much better than I would have ever imagined.
Just like you, I've been forced to step aside. Your son, like mine, may or may not do what he needs to do for himself. We hold our breath, hoping, and praying.
If your son believes he does have Bipolar disorder he is in a much better place than 40% of the people with this disorder. And from what you have posted he has the tools available to him to help himself.
So anyway I think you did real well, no reason to question what you have done for him. Instead I think you should pat yourself on the back for successfully walking that very thin line between "supporting" and "enabling".