heartbroken gramma

[skittles]

Just posting to unburden my heart abit. For those that have read any of my backstory, my ex daughter in law has now taken off out of town with her boyfriend who was recently released from custody and has a no contact order in regards to my grandchildren (because he hurt my granddaughter court case pending) She has gone with all the kids, my suspicion is with his family in a neighbouring city about 90 min drive away. The children are not in school, and havent been this year at all. childrens aid is informed shes disappeared, i went by her house yesterday and its empty. My son is so upset that she took his kids. Im not sure of what happens next, it seems though that she just does whatever she wants with impunity and never suffers consequences.

 

[newstart]

Skittles, Just know I am praying for your situation to get better. I know you feel out of sorts. I am so very sorry.

 

[skittles]

Thankyou Newstart your prayers are very appreciated

 

[RN0441]

Skittles

I am so sorry and I do hope the law/authorities catch up with her. What a hard situation for YOU but you are doing everything humanly possible to make this work out the best for all.

Prayers for your grandchildren.

 

[Copabanana]

I second what everybody else says, that I am so very sorry.

I agree with RN that you're doing EVERYTHING a person can humanly do.

I am heartsick for you, But I do believe that if we hold in our hearts the children and their well-being if all of us do this, it will help them through this whole and strong.. Your love and care sustain them. I truly, truly believe this. Your moral outrage. I think this is the meaning of our suffering. Actually, I do believe this. That we hold them in our hearts with strength and with safety. This way we help them get through this.

People can feel love sent to them from afar. If you try to remember this, as you suffer, that the love you hold in your heart can be felt by your grandchildren, you may be able to be in touch with the sweetness that lies behind the pain.

All of that said, I do believe that there will be consequences for her. What she is doing is choosing to permit this accused perpetrator to perpetrate more against her children. I know this may rub salt in this tender wound. What I am saying here, is that this deliberate wrongdoing by her, this choosing to aid and abet putting HER OWN children at risk, will not stand. It will not and it cannot. Please feel our love.

 

[BusynMember1]

Prayers and love. Hoping for the best

 

[SeekingStrength]

Hi there Skittles and big hugs.

Hopefully, that no contact order will get things moving sooner than later.

Would you be the one to call and check on progress?

 

[skittles]

Thankyou everyone for your support. Ive talked to Childrens Aid and am so frustrated. I told them a week ago that i suspected she was moving and I saw her boyfriend outside the house having a smoke. The worker was supposed to go by and never did so shes gone. At this point we can only try to find out where, im pretty sure she has gone with his family to kitchener. I was hoping since the legal system would have his parents address that they would coordinate with CAS. My son has not got an update yet and for privacy issues they wont discuss with me. I think we are going to have to find out on our own where she is then get kitchener CAS involved. The whole system here seems slow moving and ineffective, it has totally failed these children. The children are not in school at all yet this year, i dont think she will enroll them at all as that will alert CAS to where she is. Sooner or later someone will catch up with her and maybe this is the point they will finally take the children but when and where and what is happening with them meanwhile is the question.

 

[skittles]

Update:!! We have found a hotel she is staying in in Kitchener, she was supposed to attend court by video , she did not, she had previously been ordered to disclose her location, she did not, and we have credible information that her crazy boyfriend is with her in violation of his release order and the nocontact order with my granddaughter. In addition the children are still not in school. today the judge made an order that she has until 4 PM Wednesday, December 9 to come back to our city, Children’s aid has a shelter room for her and the children. If she does not come back the judge has ordered My son to submit a plan of care and the children will be taken from her and split up between him and my custody temporarily until my son can find larger accommodations. Finally!! Some real consequences !!

 

[Moved On]

Skittles, I am SO RELIEVED for you, your son, and his children. Prayers ARE answered, and we ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU! Sending you hope and love.

 

[Copabanana]

Skittles. I am so happy for you, your son, and the children for this ray of sunshine. I am absolutely thrilled that there is this very concrete plan in place for the children's welfare. It sounds very clearcut. Either she complies and follows through, by protecting her children, or she does not. I pray that the children come home to their father and to you. I am so glad that the authorities are seeing reality and acting responsibly.

by the way I can't believe how much information you have found out! The name of the hotel! Her non-compliance with the court, the boyfriend with her, etc. Wow!! Is there proof, that can be provided to the court? If there is a witness are they willing to testify? Are there funds to get a private investigator?

Please, please, please keep us informed.

 

[skittles]

Thanks everyone for best wishes. As for how we got the information, The plus side of all the help I’ve given her over the years is that I’ve had access to a lot of her passwords. maybe not completely ethical but in this case the ends justify the means, she doesn’t realize that I keep track of those passwords and I’ve been able to monitor her email and her bank account. I found the confirmation for her hotel in her email and her bank account showed a nearly $400 charge to Uber on the day Victim services sent my son a copy of her boyfriend’s parole order Indicating that he had been released and that he has a no contact order for my granddaughter.
it didn’t take much to figure out that he took an Uber to Kitchener and is staying in the hotel with her. I let CAS know this information, so they served the court order on her there. there’s some concern that she may try to takeoff again before Wednesday but again she’s not aware that I’m able to monitor her bank account and email so I’m pretty confident I can find her again if she does that. meanwhile the judge and CAS are giving her the opportunity to do the right thing so we’ll see. Even if she does do the right thing and returns to our city, CAS is going to be transporting the two boys with behavioural disabilities to my sons every day for virtual schooling as they don’t believe she Will be able to affectively give them the guidance they will need under the best of circumstances let alone in a shelter with six children. I think it’s not going to take much for them to give permanent custody to him for at least those two boys eventually. my son still has his own difficulties with maintaing employment mostly, but I will say I’ve been proud of how dedicated he’s been to being part of his children’s lives no matter how hard she has tried to make it for him. Hes been out of prison now for about 5 years and hasnt been in trouble since, This fight for his children has really made him focus on whats important.

 

[SeekingStrength]

Sherlock Skittles,

....reading along, looking forward to more news in positive directions, and rooting hard for all of you. Good for you!

SS

 

[AppleCori]

Hi Skittles!

Nice to hear that your ex-daughter in law finally has some consequences!

Did she come back to your area with the kids?

 

[Copabanana]

What a story, Sherlock Skittles! Please, please, please keep us in the loop.

 

[skittles]

Hi Skittles!

Nice to hear that your ex-daughter in law finally has some consequences!

Did she come back to your area with the kids?

Unfortunately no. I don’t know what she is thinking!! so yesterday my son and children’s aid presented plans of care to the court, My son also filed an emergency custody motion and Monday there is a hearing, I’m hoping the judge will make the order to seize the children. she did allow children’s aid to come out to Kitchener to see the children on Thursday. She moved to an Airbnb but it’s still looking for permanent housing. CAS said the housing she’s in at the moment is adequate on a temporary basis , as one of the judges concerns was that they were living in a hotel . I see from her email CAS has sent her lists of housing resources in our city. So we’ll see what happens Monday. I don’t understand the purpose of the timeline to be back in our city by Wednesday past if they still have to go to court to get the judge to make a seizure order, but that’s bureaucracy I guess. and they still cannot determine the whereabouts of her boyfriend, I don’t know what the children water spilled the beans about that or not. she’s pretty good at coaching them to say nothing.I’ll update when I know more and thank you everyone for your support and concern

 

[Copabanana]

As far as I am concerned I am rooting that she does not comply with the judge's orders so as to lose control of these kids; that they come to their father and their grandmother. Eventually, the judge will tire of this. I hope. We're here with you skittles.

 

[skittles]

Today the judge ordered the children into mine and my sons care!!! We go with CAS and the police tomorrow to kitchener to get them, will keep you posted. Hopefully the last location we had for her is still good. What a long road this has been and not over yet. This is temporary emergency care, if she starts compliing with the courts ans CAS, she can work to have the children returned. However I think this judge and CAS are going to need to see real and serious progress on her part. They are letting her keep the infant with her however.

 

[Copabanana]

I am thrilled!!!

 

[Copabanana]

How is your son?