Hello all, I thought I'd be OK....

[tracyf551]

Yeah, I thought I'd be OK and haven't posted in a while well I was wrong. I actually had been gone so long I forgot my login info so I had to start over.
I will attempt to make an update as short as I can. Well difficult child came home Nov 9, 2007, Started school Nov 12 at an alt. ed. school, was doing very well. In the past month (or a little more) he has desided not to go to school, Nothing can be done to get him to go I called the school district and because of his age I can't even get truancy fines put on him. (once they turn 17 truancy doesn't apply?????) So now he is not going to school, he will not get a job, and the caseworker is an IDIOT. She does nothing!!!!! I figured she is just letting it go because he will be 18 in May and they will be signing off anyway.
Well let me tell ya I too am ready to "sign off" I am so sick of this I (the whole family) has gone thru all this for years and I am tired of it. I told him if he does not have a job or is not in school when he turns 18 he must go. I am obligated to him until then after that he is an adult (by age)I want him to see how "easy" the real world is. Oh yeah I believe he's doing drugs again too. He goes to bed about 4 or 5 in the morning and eats everything in site while we sleep. He gets out of bed right before I get home from work about 4 in the afternoon.
I refuse to do anything beyond the necessary things for him. No money, no ride, no one allowed to the house, only a roof thats it. I am soooooo fed up. I feel like such an idiot too. I drove 5 hours every 2 weeks to see him at his last placement and fell for all the ****. Totally taken in by the whole situation.
The only good thing is my mother has seen the light, he's not the angel she once thought he was.
Thanks for listening all, I'll try to keep in touch. I am also working 2 jobs to keep up with bills it's been a rough couple of months.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im sorry. We always hope that change has happened and it always seems to bite us in the fanny when it doesnt.

Check out the thread in General about psychopaths.

 

[Hound dog]

Hugs.

I don't see a thing wrong with your requirements for when difficult child turns 18. Same ones I have in my house. Although, you might want to add in charging difficult child rent if he chooses the job route.

Sorry difficult child is backsliding.

 

[standswithcourage]

It all sounds so familiar! My son dropped out of high school at 17. We had jobs lined up for him and GED classes. He went for a while and never got his HS diploma. We had the same problem as your are having. We kicked him out several times for having pot on our property and friends in ourhouse we didnt even know while we were all at work! They ended up stealing a lot and we turned them all in. It has been a hard 8 years. He is presently in jail. He is 24 now. He was also in a correctional facility and we drove about 2 hours to see him every 2 weeks for 11 months. We he got out it was ok at first and then right back he went - we allowed hiim to come home yet again. It is so frustrating! I understand your pain.

 

[scent of cedar]

*********************


These are the things no one else sees ~ the hurt at having to treat our children this way, the frustration of never, ever, being able to help them or even make much of a difference, the desperate measures we take trying to motivate them to take their lives into their own hands.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and to your son and your family.

Barbara

 

[judi]

I want to add my sympathy also. We too have been down this route. Our son did his 9th grade year for three years, then dropped out! Got his GED though and also 13 hours of college credit. He is working now (he's 22 now) and lives on his own. Not perfect but doing better.

Sometimes the real world is the real eye opener for our kids.