Hello

[BusynMember]

I know some eccentric folks, by our standards, who choose to stay out of the rat race. I get it. I hate it too and if I had a comfortable way to do it, id join them

Some built farmhouses and make their own water supply and grow food and do not pay taxes. They do work for cash and dont need much money. Our Amish are an example but far from the only ones. The difference, the only difference, is that they do have stable ways to provide for themselves and family. They do not and would not want their names on government resources so they dont use any.

Is this crazy? Well if the world falls apart, it wont matter to them.

For thise who arent amish yet live off the grids, many own LOTS of ammo so that, if confronted, they can defend themselves...or they believe.

These people, as I know them, are different thinkers and mainly happy, but do not seem to have mental health reasons for this choice.

Lucy. I think your son is just a uk version of this and good for him.

 

[lindalou]

Apple, He was a straight A student, never had to study. He played trombone in marching band, and did more social things back then. He did have normal peer relations, but had to be the leader.
He never got in trouble in school. He was in gifted and talented, and did some theater.

I'm reading this and comparing it to my difficult child. He is gifted in math but has a documented Learning Disability (LD) in written/ oral expression. Because of the late start on an IEP he just gave up in school although did manage to graduate. The traits you mention that make you suspect Asperger's
are the same ones that had me convinced my son might be on the spectrum. He was tested and they said he wasn't but can those tests be wrong? He is so unresponsive, no eye contact, any questions are not answered and just include lots of eye-shifting. I've long thought he was either autistic or had the capability of being a major sociopath, although he has always been non-violent.

 

[InsaneCdn]

He was tested and they said he wasn't but can those tests be wrong? He is so unresponsive, no eye contact

Can the tests be wrong? definitely.
They can be affected by bias or inexperience on the part of the tester.
They can be affected by the cooperation level of the person being evaluated.
Results can change over time, depending on which traits happen to be at the forefront at that point in time.
They often (usually?) discount family input, so key factors are not included - things like your observation of no eye contact.

If he's been avoidant of eye contact all of his life, then it's a higher chance of something on the autism spectrum. AS traits start really early.

 

[BusynMember]

My son's first evaluations WERE wrong. If you are in the U.S., I strongly advise. If son is willing, to have a clear neuropsycologist exam that covers all issues but usually takes 6-10 hours. Since it is a neurological difference, rather than a psychiatric disorder, many psychiatrists and therapists don't recognize it and tend to misdiagnosed it.

Aspies, even brilliant ones, start out having severe social skills aND life skill gaps and often can't communicate, even though they may have college level vocabularies. Often these bright adults fail in life unless they accept help.

Aspies don't think conventionally so they are often seen as "weird." Example. Before my son taught himself to make eye contact, I gently asked why hI'm why he couldn't do it. He said, "eyes are gross."

Go figure.

 

[Pinkfreud]

Hi Linda...just read your bio....yes, your son sounds like mine.
I never had my son tested, because, frankly he did well in school and I saw his quirks as just his personality. His dad was the same way. His quirkiness never affected his life until about 3 yrs ago when he became bitter about being a "wage slave", etc.
The funny thing is...100 yrs ago, this wouldn't even be a point. He would just be some weird hermit down the way....
One of the things that makes me question his potential for being Aspie is that he was extremely social as a little guy...up until high school...and then he just got way worse in adulthood...like around 21-22. If he had it his way, he could "live off his art" ( he has written some songs, plays guitar, and has made some video games. Why is it that so many creative types are like this?
I also cant help but make the connection that his recreational drug use ( I know of pot and ecstacy) around that age and his increased anxiety. I don't *think* he uses anything but pot now....but not positive

 

[InsaneCdn]

The funny thing is...100 yrs ago, this wouldn't even be a point. He would just be some weird hermit down the way....

Absolutely. We are way LESS tolerant than we were 100 years ago. Life was also at a slower pace, which worked better for most people. My son would love to jump in a time machine and go back 100 years.

Why is it that so many creative types are like this?

Aspies are typically found in engineering, advanced science (PhD types), information technology, and the arts... In other words, fields where thinking "outside the box" is an advantage.

he was extremely social as a little guy...up until high school

Define social.
My guy was social too... as long it was people significantly older or younger than he was. At 12, he was fantastic with 6 year olds... or with adults. And impossible with peers for ALL of his life.

Peer relationships is what defines social skills. The rest can be "figured out" fairly quickly, as adults don't change much, and the expectations for people significantly younger doesn't change much either. But as kids and teens, peers change socially very often and quickly, and non-neuro-typical kids can't keep up socially.

 

[ColleenB]

Welcome Pink

Thank you for posting your story!

Reading this, makes me wonder about my own son.... I would never think of him as on the spectrum, but he for sure has many of your sons traits and issues.

He hates commercialism, yet likes to buy things, quits jobs or is let go, is often disdainful of what your son calls wage slaves.... And is very opinionated about many issues... And like you say, I agree with most of what he says but I can't figure out why he can't just " get with the program" and conform!

I jokingly call him my " dirty hippie" because that's exactly what he is!

I wish he could find something somewhere that would fit his personality and quikiness.... I have accounted much of his issue to his drug use, which started around 19. Prior to that he was very normal, good grades, cared about appearance.... Cared about school.

I feel so lost in how to deal but reading everyone's stories helps me feel not so alone.