Re: ingnoring her. It seems that everything escalates when we do.
OF course for typical kids without major issues, this may not apply...but for difficult child's-just speaking in general....ignoring works under very specific circumstances....1. if the behavior is actually only being done to get attention so then clearly removing the reward of attention will make the behavior not work for the child.... it is rare that a child only does something for attention. Attention may feed into it, may keep it going, (any attention is better than none) etc. Usually the issue is that they dont know what else to do that is more productive. Or that they can't access that information when upset. It can be that they are lacking skills or are wired in a way that they can't comprehend what needs to be done to have things go along in a more productive way. 2. the environment allows for actual complete removal of all attention. Kids know when you are not paying attention and that in and of itself is a change which means you ARE paying attention (does that make sense?) and trying to not say or look or give in etc....also anyone around her may turn a head or make a sound ....etc. Just not a controllable intervention.
Our home behavioral psychologist always says it just doesn't work in the real world in most situations--mainly because it is too hard to be very consistent with, he is older and a teacher and owns the company we work through...I really respect him and he explains it well. The only times it works are in serious behavioral centers where everyone very carefully is working on a specific behavior system.
And the other thing is you may be seeing the increase because when any new behavior plan starts, especially one not focused on positive intervention, kids typically do get worse before they get better.
Likes to push people's buttons
Mine is like this too so I hear you.... I do try to reframe this though. It appears this way and I get worked up about it but really, he prefers when things go well. I think most kids prefer to be happy (not all, I get that). It might be that the statement is "she pushes peoples buttons" but whether or not she LIKES it may not be a sure thing. Just some food for thought that helps me to deal with those days when it goes ON and ON and ON......
I have to go take Q to therapy....will check back later. I hope you are able to find some hope in these posts....most of us can really relate to many of the things you are saying and going through! HUGS, Dee
