He's admitted


Well-Known Member
Remember we did three residential programs. The first one felt it was important for everyone to express their feelings in open group. Obviously there was no violence or vulgarity but alot of the kids expressed negative feelings about their homelife or parents. Things like "if my Mom hadn't divorced my Dad etc. etc." easy child/difficult child never said anything at all negative and basically said "I've been making poor choices but I always know I have a loving home." Those meetings were required attendance every Tuesday night (two hours away from our home, by the way) and went from eight to ten. The second program had family afternoon every Sunday. We did outdoor things (can't remember what to heck it was called but we did an obstacle course with our teen) had group "share time" (rarely accusatory) and then visit time. After easy child/difficult child got kicked out of the second program I did what I had promised I would do. I turned him over to his PO for placement in a Department of Juvenile Justice substance abuse program. One of the hardest things I had done to date and an emotions wrecker for me. He needed to know that his problem was serious. Sigh. At that third and last placement there was no family time except for visitation on Sunday afternoon.

My intentions were not to scare anyone. I just wanted to give a heads up so there's no chance of a blindside. Hugs DDD


Active Member
Our experience was a lot like Nancy's. difficult child was only allowed to make amends, nothing else, and only after we explained our feelings. She had an old-comer sitting with her in the family circle and the old-comer would cut her off if she did anything else. She did once get nasty after she was set back to 1st phase after being 2 weeks from graduating. The old-comer could not stop her. We had been instructed in parent training to rise and walk away and tell a staff person she broke the rules. We did just that. We also withheld our next visit as she had not made ammends or even addmitted her wrong doing by the following week.

The only problem solving took place with the counselor and family in private counseling meetings and, only after the counselor had preplanned with difficult child. She was able to share her issues in an appropriate way.

She was in an adolescent Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with mostly dual diagnosed kids (most often the case anyway) and it was very family oriented. It was 12 step based. Maybe adult places are different but my guess is that when parents are involved-they have some protective factors.


Well-Known Member
Staff member
exhausted, ours was an adult facility too. They had middle age people sitting in the circle having to listen to what their addiction has done to their family. It was heartbreaking to watch the teens come in and confront their mom's and dad's. We had a counselor in the room, everyone listened to everyone else's session. And yes just like yours, the counselor would not let the difficult child do anything other than listen or make amends or admit their addiction. It was all about the difficult child being made to recognize what their addiction has done to their loved ones. We were told this was our time. And like yours, their time was in private with their counselor.