Hi.

[Nomad]

I recall when I first came here I was kind of upset by the gift from God term. Our child that brought me here is adopted. We adopted because I had difficult health issues with my first pregnancy. I had nothing but a pure heart. I was angry, tired, spiritually broken and so forth when things became so enormously peculiar and difficult. This situation was so taxing, everything fell apart...you name it...health, money, friendships. I thought the term “gift” was bordering on SARCASM.

Not in love with “difficult child” either, but I get its purpose.

I might like special needs...but that ain’t perfect either.

Child that brought you here. : CTBYH????

Nothing seems great.

What is GREAT is when a parent is comforted. When a parent feels validated. When a parent gets some good ideas to try.

I no longer take such things to heart. It’s not all that important. It’s not vulgar or mean spirited. It’s just a term to get an idea across...a means to express and to get down to the business of helping one another.

This site is a blessing.

 

[BusynMember]

Nomad, you said it perfectly in my opinion.

 

[Snow White]

Such an interesting thread. I've been a member here for so long but sometimes absent for long periods of time. I know some of the names from way back and as new members pop up, there is always a different and unique twist to someone's story. While trying to protect everyone's privacy, it gets difficult to write about things "generically" and we are left with basic words to try and describe behaviors or actions. I personally take no offence to the terminologies used here and have seen them change over the years. I'm just happy to have a place where I can go and not be judged or criticized. We are all trying to cope the best way we can - support in whatever form (especially from our "peer group") is so greatly appreciated. Many of us are ostracized from family, friends and colleagues because our home life is so very different from the norm. Here we are able to express ourselves more freely (and sometimes need to do it quickly in the midst of crisis) and the words/acronyms may not be what someone else would use.

As far as ratings - I just like seeing the pretty colours of the icons. Rainbows, stars and hearts! So primary and so uplifting!

This place has been my lifeline and I am comforted that at any time I can use a "lifeline" and "I can call a friend"!

 

[OTE]

Thanks for all the thoughts.

To RNO441... Not sure that I'd define it as luck that I don't feel the need for what this board used to provide to me. There were years when I was here more hours in the day, every day, than anyone would believe. I replied to every post at least once. This was my only lifeline to sanity, the only people who accepted me with my kids, who understood, ... Honestly, without the help and support of this board my kids and I wouldn't still be a family. There was one person here who did "reverse" an adoption. And at least with regards to my oldest I might have had to do that for my sanity and to protect my younger ones. I owe this board more than I could ever identify. When my then 11 year old would disappear all night, night after night, Esther would often be my only comfort through those literally dark hours. She's just one person to whom I am indebted, I could name so many others. But if I started this reply would be voluminous and I'd probably accidently offend someone by omission.

When my oldest was in his late teens and out of the house I needed to drop out of here to try to erase those years from my mind. I had PTSD from many, many things my son had done. Reading here only brought about PTSD episodes. So for my sanity again, I had to leave.

With my own therapy, passage of time, maturity of my kids, etc we've put those years behind us. Basic psychology... Must focus on the present, right? So I wouldn't call it luck. And it's not without a lot of work that we are where we are today. I wish the same for all of you.. That you are able to put what you live with now behind you. That you find peace with yourself and your family. And sorry to the board... But that you don't need the board!

 

[OTE]

And LOL here I am about to start a new thread!

 

[Kathy813]

I remember when the name was changed from Gift from God to difficult child. I really don't remember the reason but some people got angry and left. One deleted years worth of posts.

Honestly, I consider my daughter both difficult and a Gift from God. I can't deny that she has been very difficult to deal with at times but at the same time I thank God for her. So why can't our troubled loved ones be both?

I will never be able to thank the people on this board enough for the support and understanding that I have received over the past twelve years. My daughter is doing very well now but I stick around so I can give back to others traveling the same path.

 

[OTE]

Kathy, only 12 years? Seems more.

 

[Kathy813]

12 years while she was in active addiction. My daughter has been sober for 2.5 years so I guess the time I have been here would be a total of about 15 years. She was 18 when I joined.

 

[OTE]

Kathy, Nomad, so many others I remember from many years ago when mine were kids and I had 3 IEPs. Youngest graduated a couple of years ago and not dealing with schools and IEPs has also taken a burden off my shoulders.

 

[Triedntrue]

How about just child or child with challenges. It doesn't matter to me i just appreciate the support.

 

[OTE]

We all agree that terminology is a personal choice. That is, everyone except the site itself which has determined that I am not allowed to use my choice. The site doesn't believe in choice.

I wish you all the peace that I have found.

But I find myself being stressed here and I avoid stress whenever possible.

 

[Nomad]

OTE: You can contact Runaway Bunny about this. You can probably call your children “gifts” without it being any issue at all. You don’t have to ever say Difficult Child if you do t want to. You might even be able to write out gift. From. God.
Fairly sure this isn’t an issue for anyone here.