Hang in there. you are moving forward at a very fast pace, as you need to, but it can be hard to think things through. You know your kids best - whether they need their own space with you in the short run, or if they can handle being in someone else's home. You know your finances (we don't want to). Take just enough time to think things through. You will do fine.
Hurting Self-
- Thread starter Confused
- Start date
Thank you InsaneCdn. Well, the kids do not want to leave yet until I know which place will hire me, they only want to move once. I told them it will be an adventure! They both want to stay here until then, daughter likes her own room and space and is comfy at this house. Daughter is thinks shes ok with moving out of town when it comes, and son isnt. But, I explained about jobs and getting paid so we have a roof over our heads etc. I have no money is the thing, thats why I was looking for work here temp and the other places so I had money to move and stay there to work there when.. yes when (trying to be hopeful ) they hire me.
My dad said gpas house needed to be checked and locked as gpas in bed, I said ok and? I know dad is sick and in pjs BUT as I said Im not doing nothing, well, sure answering the phone. But all meals,heat, medications, company are by his old caretakers, my dad and neighbors. So, I am not being guilted into it. Besides, I wasnt there a few other times and gpa locked his own door plus hes wearing the life alert- ok, well, should be. I havent been there.
Well the gpa thing was already in progress, so that was just a few weeks jump to do nothing there. But as far as the rest, well, you already read how I feel. The moving was planned, just happening quicker then needed. Oh my gosh, I never realized how much clothes, toys and blankets we have! Got rid of some old clothes n putting boxes for donate. Im going to have to rent a storage unit for their stuff, pictures, awards, furniture, power wheels yikes! Thats expensive!
I am doing this, been doing this and will continue to do this!
My dad said gpas house needed to be checked and locked as gpas in bed, I said ok and? I know dad is sick and in pjs BUT as I said Im not doing nothing, well, sure answering the phone. But all meals,heat, medications, company are by his old caretakers, my dad and neighbors. So, I am not being guilted into it. Besides, I wasnt there a few other times and gpa locked his own door plus hes wearing the life alert- ok, well, should be. I havent been there.
Well the gpa thing was already in progress, so that was just a few weeks jump to do nothing there. But as far as the rest, well, you already read how I feel. The moving was planned, just happening quicker then needed. Oh my gosh, I never realized how much clothes, toys and blankets we have! Got rid of some old clothes n putting boxes for donate. Im going to have to rent a storage unit for their stuff, pictures, awards, furniture, power wheels yikes! Thats expensive!
I am doing this, been doing this and will continue to do this!
Way to go, warrior mom!
mjhawks
Member
Here is an option you have and will always be available to you, no matter where you are. When your son starts hurting himself, take him to the ER. Ask for a psychiatric evaluation. They must provide it. At that point, in your case, they will probably admit him to a psychiatric hospital for acute treatment. Short term, but it's a starting point.
I am a single mother of 2 kids, with a psycho ex (seriously, I open carry a gun when we have to interact) who doesn't pay support. I bust my behind to keep us in a tiny two bedroom apartment. All of my time is eaten up by Dr. appointments and therapy for my oldest. I have to make time to take my youngest for mommy time because she gets overlooked A LOT. Life is hard. There is no easy way out. It sucks but you have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make it happen.
I am a single mother of 2 kids, with a psycho ex (seriously, I open carry a gun when we have to interact) who doesn't pay support. I bust my behind to keep us in a tiny two bedroom apartment. All of my time is eaten up by Dr. appointments and therapy for my oldest. I have to make time to take my youngest for mommy time because she gets overlooked A LOT. Life is hard. There is no easy way out. It sucks but you have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make it happen.
Thank you mjhawks, he has stopped everything but the biting.( well thats slowed too and therapy should help him /us we are going soon). I know and hes been to a counselor, Dr and police about it all, and of course they said if hes at a certain point to call, well, yes, I would, never said I wouldnt...but needed to be at that point because I was advised by all of them if he was just acting up biting self let it go, cops dont and shouldn't be called every single time he does this. Again unless its to a certain point then yes of course I should call. ( they said this) Now, that was the old doctors and cops said the same thing in similar words. So a Psyc Dr said if therapy ..medications.. cant find a proper diagnose..doesnt work then he will admit him.. he will see when a little - yes little he wont wait long..time goes on after the sessions. But of course not to long so Im nervous, but happy someone is listening to me here and willing to work with us instead of ignoring us or just throwing him in and throwing away the key. I really like this program I been reading about and why its done the way it is, in home therapy and they come in and help you fix what Im doing wrong( I rarely stick to punishments so that my bad mistake) we ALL get help! Plus in office, plus anger management classes, so Im hopeful! I read about home therapy here but didnt find anything until recently plus I been looking out of town for a job, schools and psychiatric Facilities and found some! So, its just the matter of getting hired there or here save and wait for them to hire me where I looked.
See, he knows he gets me going when he does this, so thats the first thing he threatens, now that I said do it one more time and I had the phone in my hand to call the police-he quit all the rest! The biting he will start and then I just shrug and walk away and so far he quits and then just screams. So we have some improvement. Before, the counselor dr and cop said continue to take him to Dr, medications if needed, punishments, etc. That hes letting go of his aggression because he doesnt focus his attention to handle it when hes in that moment.. so he has to learn that thats where therapy I hope helps!
Thank you and welcome to the board! ( as you read, sometimes I ramble a lot)
See, he knows he gets me going when he does this, so thats the first thing he threatens, now that I said do it one more time and I had the phone in my hand to call the police-he quit all the rest! The biting he will start and then I just shrug and walk away and so far he quits and then just screams. So we have some improvement. Before, the counselor dr and cop said continue to take him to Dr, medications if needed, punishments, etc. That hes letting go of his aggression because he doesnt focus his attention to handle it when hes in that moment.. so he has to learn that thats where therapy I hope helps!
Thank you and welcome to the board! ( as you read, sometimes I ramble a lot)
mjhawks
Member
It's good that you recognize one of his motives is to upset you. Even better that you walk away. Not engaging most of these kids is the #1 lesson we should learn along the way. It's not likely to solve the problems, but when you realize engaging them doesn't work either, it's easy to walk away. DQ loves to fight, and nothing pisses her off more than the fact that I won't fight back anymore. And that's fine. I give myself permission not to waste my energy on something I know won't work. It's liberating.
The reason I suggested ER when he self harms is for 2 reasons.
1) It will document a pattern of behavior, and it may lead to more thorough testing for your son
2) It could help shield you from a CPS investigation down the road. It shows that you are doing everything in your power to help your son, and that you are already reporting the "abuse" yourself to the hospital staff. That way, if one day he's mad and not getting the reaction from you he wants, he can't turn around and say you did that to him. Trust me, it will get to that point where he will try to hurt you and the other child by accusing you of abuse.
The reason I suggested ER when he self harms is for 2 reasons.
1) It will document a pattern of behavior, and it may lead to more thorough testing for your son
2) It could help shield you from a CPS investigation down the road. It shows that you are doing everything in your power to help your son, and that you are already reporting the "abuse" yourself to the hospital staff. That way, if one day he's mad and not getting the reaction from you he wants, he can't turn around and say you did that to him. Trust me, it will get to that point where he will try to hurt you and the other child by accusing you of abuse.
I know, and I have taken him to his pediatrician not the same as E.R as the pediatrician said no need for E.R. for biting for example. Ugghh I know I should of switched like everyone said a long time ago! Daughter doesnt like too much change and all was going fine for her so, I stayed,so same pediatrician whole life. Well least he will be having a therapist again 
Oh, I do take pics of his damage as well as video record as much as I can without him seeing it! The Neuro Psychologist said " no weapons" and anger management therapy after seeing the video I had of son. Well, duh! I had actually wanted to show his old counselor and he didnt want to see it, he saw the bite marks and said he may need medications etc and the third visit my son " played nice and is a smart kid let him grow" ugghh! really? The new therapist I hope is better! Thank u!
Oh, I do take pics of his damage as well as video record as much as I can without him seeing it! The Neuro Psychologist said " no weapons" and anger management therapy after seeing the video I had of son. Well, duh! I had actually wanted to show his old counselor and he didnt want to see it, he saw the bite marks and said he may need medications etc and the third visit my son " played nice and is a smart kid let him grow" ugghh! really? The new therapist I hope is better! Thank u!
