Husbands suicide attempt - Update - PLEASE read
- Thread starter goldenguru
- Start date
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Nomad
Guest
How about this...
I would tell the hosptial administrator that your husband feels he isn't a good match or "fit" with the psychiatrist and has made a request for a new doctor as soon as possible. You could add that you don't wish to cause him any further anxieties and feel confident that his treatment would progress much faster with a different doctor on board.
I would tell the hosptial administrator that your husband feels he isn't a good match or "fit" with the psychiatrist and has made a request for a new doctor as soon as possible. You could add that you don't wish to cause him any further anxieties and feel confident that his treatment would progress much faster with a different doctor on board.
How terrible and stressful for you and your husband. Maybe there is some truth to what others suggested about this doctor having some sort of mental crisis or maybe that the doctor had the wrong chart (chart mixup happened to my difficult child some years ago/stopped going to that psychiatrist). Seeking another doctor is a good suggestion. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.
Stella Johnson
Active Member
I agree with Fran. I think involving a lawyer with you doing your clinicals could mess up your own career. Find another psychiatrist. Don't stay with this guy.
I had a therapist try to suggest this **** to me years ago. When difficult child was in PreK she was going to a christian day care after school. difficult child was about to get kicked out. They had this therapist that worked with some of their kids and suggested him to me.
I started going with difficult child. He said because she was so young he needed to work more with me instead of her.
He also did sliding scale and at the time I couldn't afford anything but this.
A few weeks into it he started suggesting this type of **** to me. While my ex was physically abusive he tried to make me think my parents did all kinds of weird **** to me. Not that my parents were good parents, but they weren't that bad.
Therapist even started telling me his parents ritualisitcly beat him and sexually abused him. He said he turned them in and that the FBI was investigating. (Which they wouldn't have any reason to they don't handle this type of stuff if it is in one state only)
Long story short, I dumped him. No therapy is better than quack therapy.
Steph
Star*
call 911........call 911
You know -
I have a future sister in law that teaches Nursing and had something similar happen.
She had a girl in her class "present" her paper on mental illness and through the paper found out/figured out that the girl the story was about was this girl and the woman who had been so abusive was her Mother.
When she took this girl aside to just "have a chat" about "are you okay?" the girl flipped out and went to the dean, the dean to the administration and she was nearly fired over trying to help.
In your case it would probably be able to be worked out that you were stressed out, misunderstood the ENTIRE conversation etc and are in need of help yourself (seen it happen)
However - your husband can NOT continue to be seen by this idiot. You "could" cite that you feel there is too much involved personally because of you being in school and everyone knowing your business. Back out of it that way?
Tight spot - I'm sure you'll figure something out. But no more talking to Dr. Whack job....omg. Makes you want to show up on his front porch on Christmas in Nativity Drag and tell him you really wanted him to get the full impact of Christmas.
I have a future sister in law that teaches Nursing and had something similar happen.
She had a girl in her class "present" her paper on mental illness and through the paper found out/figured out that the girl the story was about was this girl and the woman who had been so abusive was her Mother.
When she took this girl aside to just "have a chat" about "are you okay?" the girl flipped out and went to the dean, the dean to the administration and she was nearly fired over trying to help.
In your case it would probably be able to be worked out that you were stressed out, misunderstood the ENTIRE conversation etc and are in need of help yourself (seen it happen)
However - your husband can NOT continue to be seen by this idiot. You "could" cite that you feel there is too much involved personally because of you being in school and everyone knowing your business. Back out of it that way?
Tight spot - I'm sure you'll figure something out. But no more talking to Dr. Whack job....omg. Makes you want to show up on his front porch on Christmas in Nativity Drag and tell him you really wanted him to get the full impact of Christmas.
goldenguru
Active Member
Well, Dr. 'psycho'trist came into the team meeting yesterday with- hubby and the first words out of his mouth were an apology. Apparently "his sources were very wrong". No kidding sherlock. I called his therapist, and the therapist is still very puzzled by it all.
psychiatrist has been replaced by another doctor in the practice as per our request. I have done at least that much for damage control.
I am still thinking about how to proceed from here. Thank you all for the very, very good advise.
At the dust of my confusion is beginning to settle, the more I think I smell quackery. I am not big on opportunistic attorneys, but I do think this may require some legal action.
Thank you all again.
psychiatrist has been replaced by another doctor in the practice as per our request. I have done at least that much for damage control.
I am still thinking about how to proceed from here. Thank you all for the very, very good advise.
At the dust of my confusion is beginning to settle, the more I think I smell quackery. I am not big on opportunistic attorneys, but I do think this may require some legal action.
Thank you all again.
donna723
Well-Known Member
I'm so glad that at least you've got a different doctor!
Did he have your husband confused with another patient? Reading the wrong chart? Or did he mean that someone gave him the wrong information about husband and he ran with it? And even if he did, he was apparently planning on confronting a patient that way ... doesn't sound exactly 'orthodox' to me.
You may not have to do anything. If it was brought up in a team meeting, maybe it's come to the attention of the right people.
Did he have your husband confused with another patient? Reading the wrong chart? Or did he mean that someone gave him the wrong information about husband and he ran with it? And even if he did, he was apparently planning on confronting a patient that way ... doesn't sound exactly 'orthodox' to me.
You may not have to do anything. If it was brought up in a team meeting, maybe it's come to the attention of the right people.
katya02
Solace
Sorry I'm coming to this so late gg .... it sounds to me as if the psychiatrist was having a psychotic break. Saying the Holy Spirit was giving him info, making these off-the-wall accusations ... sounds very delusional. I'm glad you've gotten another psychiatrist for your husband. If you want to pursue it, perhaps a meeting with the hospital's patient ombudsman as well as the chief of the department, in private, would be an idea to make them fully aware of the situation. They may not even have the full story. This absolutely should not affect your academic situation - if it did, it would definitely be time for legal action. But the hospital will be sweating the situation and most likely they will look into this doctor's mental status further.
So sorry this has happened on top of everything else.
So sorry this has happened on top of everything else.
witzend
Well-Known Member
I'm even more dumbfounded than I was before. What "sources"? And where, exactly, does the Holy Spirit come into this?
Someone in that department needs to know who - if anyone - is saying what and make sure that nothing like this is ever said by anyone again. Dealing with a mental illness is hard enough to live with without someone making a false accusation of abuse against you or your loved one.
I'm glad that he stepped aside, in any case.
Someone in that department needs to know who - if anyone - is saying what and make sure that nothing like this is ever said by anyone again. Dealing with a mental illness is hard enough to live with without someone making a false accusation of abuse against you or your loved one.
I'm glad that he stepped aside, in any case.
goldenguru
Active Member
I think he is more stable. What is scary about this latest attempt, is that we never saw it coming. He went from 'slightly down' to suicidal in a matter of two hours. It seems that his was a very impulsive decision.
ctmom05- I'm not sure I understand your question about the 'attitudes around him changing'. Would you mind explaining what you mean more fully? I'm open to any and all tough questions.
ctmom05- I'm not sure I understand your question about the 'attitudes around him changing'. Would you mind explaining what you mean more fully? I'm open to any and all tough questions.
'Morning GG,
This is a sensitive issue, and I hope I am not stepping anywhere that hurts. Please also recognize that I am speaking from my perspective, which is based on my life experiences.
Mental health issues never seem to be just one person;s problem. If you are part of a family, then they are a family issue.
In order to cope with someone's probelm, the entire family adjusts(sque-e-e-k)...and they may not even realize that they are doing it. Generally, tho, the person who is diagnosed has to take on the largest share of accountability in getting healthier!
So, what I was asking is - is your husband doing what he needs to do to maintain his mental health, and is the family doing what is being called upon of them?
The part that I termed "attitude" is kind of a blend of his onus and what comes from the rest of the family in working on moving forward.
....Make sense...? Thanks for giving me the chance to explain my perspective.
This is a sensitive issue, and I hope I am not stepping anywhere that hurts. Please also recognize that I am speaking from my perspective, which is based on my life experiences.
Mental health issues never seem to be just one person;s problem. If you are part of a family, then they are a family issue.
In order to cope with someone's probelm, the entire family adjusts(sque-e-e-k)...and they may not even realize that they are doing it. Generally, tho, the person who is diagnosed has to take on the largest share of accountability in getting healthier!
So, what I was asking is - is your husband doing what he needs to do to maintain his mental health, and is the family doing what is being called upon of them?
The part that I termed "attitude" is kind of a blend of his onus and what comes from the rest of the family in working on moving forward.
....Make sense...? Thanks for giving me the chance to explain my perspective.
goldenguru
Active Member
A believer in the 'systems theory' aren't you Chris? LOL.
The first thing that came to my mind was that I am 'backing off' so to speak this time. I have always bore the responsibility for my husband's mental illness to the greater degree. I read the books. I belonged to the support groups. I always educated 'us' on medication side effects. I always tried to encourage him to walk, go to therapy, yada yada.
At this time, he seems to be taking more ownership for his illness.
Other than that, I don't what else to do for him. I love him, encourage him, support him. I don't know what a wife's role should really be I guess.
I have gone on with my life - at best as I know how.
I'm very open to comments and suggestions - even if they bring up 'sensitive issues'. One thing I might add is that I am getting therapy for ME this time. His therapist suggested this. I'm a little ambivalent about it. But, I will keep an open mind.
Thanks for your concern Chris.
The first thing that came to my mind was that I am 'backing off' so to speak this time. I have always bore the responsibility for my husband's mental illness to the greater degree. I read the books. I belonged to the support groups. I always educated 'us' on medication side effects. I always tried to encourage him to walk, go to therapy, yada yada.
At this time, he seems to be taking more ownership for his illness.
Other than that, I don't what else to do for him. I love him, encourage him, support him. I don't know what a wife's role should really be I guess.
I have gone on with my life - at best as I know how.
I'm very open to comments and suggestions - even if they bring up 'sensitive issues'. One thing I might add is that I am getting therapy for ME this time. His therapist suggested this. I'm a little ambivalent about it. But, I will keep an open mind.
Thanks for your concern Chris.
HI GG,
just wanted to say that it sounds to me like you are handling things in an appropriate way. I think it would have been more helpful for my difficult child if I had let her take ownership of her problems sooner. It was always me trying to find the way to help her and the therapist she had at that time encouraged me (at least that was my take) to go to the ends of the earth to help her. Trouble was, this robbed her of any responsibility for her own self and also she could put the blame on me when things didn't go well. When she had to take ownership of her life (I kicked her out of the house) she actually did much better and our relationship got healthier. I think she has made some terrible choices and I would not want to live the way she does but it is her life and up to her to change it if she wants to.
I am glad you are open to getting therapy for yourself--if you have a good therapist it could really help you continue with the path you are on, which seems to be the healthiest one for both you and husband.
Jane
just wanted to say that it sounds to me like you are handling things in an appropriate way. I think it would have been more helpful for my difficult child if I had let her take ownership of her problems sooner. It was always me trying to find the way to help her and the therapist she had at that time encouraged me (at least that was my take) to go to the ends of the earth to help her. Trouble was, this robbed her of any responsibility for her own self and also she could put the blame on me when things didn't go well. When she had to take ownership of her life (I kicked her out of the house) she actually did much better and our relationship got healthier. I think she has made some terrible choices and I would not want to live the way she does but it is her life and up to her to change it if she wants to.
I am glad you are open to getting therapy for yourself--if you have a good therapist it could really help you continue with the path you are on, which seems to be the healthiest one for both you and husband.
Jane
Fran
Former desparate mom
gg, you are handling this situation with a level head. You are really so healthy in your attitude. Getting on with your life and still being a loving and supportive wife takes a lot of balancing.
I hope your husband finds some peace and continues to stabilize. It must be so sad at times to look at him. Hugs.
I hope your husband finds some peace and continues to stabilize. It must be so sad at times to look at him. Hugs.
