I feel to blame

[Littleboylost]

Applecori, guidance seeker, LBL. Thanks guys for your support. It is very very difficult and I know you have all been there. I know no-one with these problems that are not in cyber-world. Its just not fair.

Not heard a thing from him since yesterday morning. Lady with house messaged and I told her I thought he was in process of getting deposit. I can see on his emails that all of yesterday and today were unopened. There is one this morning from his new employer which he opened around 4pm today (so in bed all day).

I did text him and asked him if he could let the lady with the house know what he was doing. He told me he couldn't do anything with no money. He asked why I wouldn't help him as he now has no home and no job. I explained my reasons. He then said "I just want to kill myself mum, it's time". I tried to respond with helpful suggestions but he has not replied to anything.

Worried beyond belief!

My son declares he is going to Kill himself every time there’s is a crisis and he is in trouble. Hasn’t happened yet, not even an attempt. Manipulation.

 

[BusynMember]

Often it is the adult version of "I'll hold my breath until I'm blue!"

If my son says that I call 911 both to take it seriously and to let him know that if this terrible scary threat is going to be treated as serious and I am no expert in stopping suicide.

Funnily, I have not heard a suicide threat from my son for a few years. He wants me to feel bad, not call eople who are able to assess his mental state, I guess.

 

[Lost in sadness]

Thanks SWOT and LBL
I have heard it before but he is now sort of running out of options of places to go and I am not sure he would survive or want to survive the streets. I would never want to be complacent about suicide threats. I would never forgive myself.

My husband went this morning and took son and his girlfriend back to her mums house. He stated her mum “didn’t look impressed”. I couldn’t help but wonder what she thought of my husband just leaving him there. He said he didn’t care what she thought and if she asked him why he would tell her!!
I’m guessing he is allowed there for a day or two whilst he gets sorted. My husband heard my son say he needed to go into town this afternoon to sort stuff out. Can’t think what!

I work in London on a Wednesday and as as I write this my husband and 15 year old daughter are still clearing the rest of his stuff from his room, (she has mock exams so finished school early today) she says the house is ‘minging’ and sent me this emoji which made me smile !

 

[Lost in sadness]

Emoji doesn’t show. It has a face mask. Love her so much

 

[Littleboylost]

Thanks SWOT and LBL
I have heard it before but he is now sort of running out of options of places to go and I am not sure he would survive or want to survive the streets. I would never want to be complacent about suicide threats. I would never forgive myself.

My husband went this morning and took son and his girlfriend back to her mums house. He stated her mum “didn’t look impressed”. I couldn’t help but wonder what she thought of my husband just leaving him there. He said he didn’t care what she thought and if she asked him why he would tell her!!
I’m guessing he is allowed there for a day or two whilst he gets sorted. My husband heard my son say he needed to go into town this afternoon to sort stuff out. Can’t think what!

I work in London on a Wednesday and as as I write this my husband and 15 year old daughter are still clearing the rest of his stuff from his room, (she has mock exams so finished school early today) she says the house is ‘minging’ and sent me this emoji which made me smile !

No one can not be complacent about divide threats. I always call 911/999. Which is what we have to do. It is humility and a waste of time for everyone involved but it has to be done. We can never judge whe. They will mean it or not.
One day at a time my friend. One day at a time.

 

[BusynMember]

Going into town to sort things out.

Translation: Buy drugs?

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry that he keeps trying to dump the blame for his lack of options on you. You are not the one keeping him from having a place to live. Hopefully her family will keep them occupied for a few days. If I were you I would stand your ground and make him figure it out.

If you keep solving his problems, he won't ever develop the ability to do so. Tell him that you believe in him and you know that he can figure this out. If you feel you must help, get a list of shelters and agencies that help the homeless. Include the local soup kitchens. This is only a suggestion, but it can be helpful.

One member who used to be here kept a list by her phone and copies of it by her door. If her difficult child came over or called, she gave that information to him and his girl. She felt he had to learn to cope as an adult. If she continued to pay his way and to feed and clothe him, she was standing in his way. She was actually keeping him from learning to be an adult if she didn't make him take on adult responsibilities. I am NOT saying that you have to do this now, or ever. I am suggesting it as something you might want to do, or at least think about.