I need a break

[Wiped Out]

Thank you all so much. I talked with difficult child's psychiatrist's nurse today. I told her of another incident that happened last night. She said the doctor thinks he should be hospitalized so they can work on titrating up his medications. She asked what we thought. I said I thought it was a good idea and would talk with husband. husband agreed but wishes they could put it off til after the 29th-difficult child is in a class play and is very excited. I too would like to be able to wait but not at the expense of safety. I'll call back the nurse tomorrow to tell her that we agree.

It won't happen immediately, they'll have to wait for a bed to open up. Interestingly enough difficult child told husband last week he wanted to go back to the hospital because easy child and I were so mean to him. Don't quite know where that came from or why he thinks we're mean to him. I wonder if he doesn't feel himself getting out of control.

Of course, tonight he comes home with an I love Mom note (he has no idea we are thinking about hospitalization). He hasn't done that in years and he even gave me a kiss on the cheek (my knee jerk reaction was to pull away because I didn't know what he was doing and was afraid he was going to hit me-sad isn't it?-A kiss on the cheek is something that rarely comes from him. Just more to pull at my guilt. Still I know in my heart we are doing the right thing.

As for an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) it is definitely something to seriously consider. You all bring up excellent points for why it is needed. I know there aren't any around here which is strange. We live in a city where you think there would be something. I'm hoping that maybe the hospital stay will help. Part of me worries though it is more of bandaging and not long term help. If the hospitalization happens at least we will be able to run all of this past the psychiatrists, sw, etc...

Truly, I thank all of you and value your opinions-I don't know what I would do without you.

 

[flutterbee]

I wonder if he doesn't feel himself getting out of control.

Sharon, with his age and cognitive issues I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't feel himself getting out of control. That requires insight and with his age and issues I wouldn't be surprised if he's not there. To him, it's happening TO him not FROM him.

It's only been within the last couple of years (as in no more than 2) that difficult child can see it. We started by focusing on the physical issues that go with it. In her case the anxiety caused stomach aches, shortness of breath, etc, and she absolutely did not make the connection between the physical symptoms and the emotional/mental. So, when I started to see her 'losing it' (for lack of a better term), I would ask her how she's feeling with specific questions, such as, does your tummy hurt?

Do you notice any physical changes when difficult child loses control? Does his breathing change - breathing faster, harder? That may be a way to help him realize when he is losing control.

Just a thought.

 

[jannie]

Sharon-

So many people have given really good advice and suggestions. I don't have the answers, but I do know that you and your family have been suffering for a really long time...I understand you not wanting hospitalization and/or Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but I do feel something needs to change. Your difficult child is getting bigger and older...I feel for you and your family and also for him...

Would the school ever consider an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) type program? I know that it is very very difficult in our school system to get this recommendation. Are there any day treatment programs available in your area? Perhaps this is something to consider, and after a bit of time, they may recommend something more intensive. Have you contacted children's hotpitals in the area to discuss the types of supports they offer?

You can continue doing what you are doing, however it seems like it is more of just a band-aid then a real healing...maybe some really intensive interventions/changes in medication etc would really help.

I sent difficult child to an intensive outpatient program for 2 1/2 hours per day 3-4 times per week for 10 weeks...it really helped....and difficult child was only 6 years old....

Sending hugs--I do hope things improve....And...I know how important it is for you and for difficult child to attend his wresting...and to think things were so bad that you did not allow it...which means...he's really crossing the lines.