I need a life jacket

[wantpeace]

I'm very sorry and can relate to what you're going through. My son abused robotussin & other cold medications and he almost died due to kidney problems. He's fine now andI pray he learned his lesson. Another teen in town has liver problems from abusing motion sickness medications. OTC medications are so dangerous when abused. My son's personality totally changed when he was doing this and there were times when I was frightened in my own home. Your son won't stop until he hits his bottom. Kicking him out may be the best option if he refuses treatment. Please protect yourself and your sanity.

Hugs,
Wantpeace

 

[buddy]

Hi. I was just catching up for the week and wanted to send you support. This is not my area but it has touched my life and one thing that ties us all together on this board is that we love our difficult child's so much and are searching for answers and help. I am sorry you are going through all of this and am so glad you found this awesome group of parents who can relate. I click on "new posts" so read posts in this area and have gained inspiration from the parents here like yourself. I hope you continue to find the same....these are some amazing warrior moms (and dads), hugs, Dee

 

[PamjO]

Thank you for the support. My son is abusing the same things - OTC medications (cold medicine & motion sickness being the top 2). I am also frightened in my own home - I get up through the night to make sure he is alive - and that I have not been sleeping alone in the house with unlocked doors. It's a terrible way to live.

 

[92025]

That is an awful way to live. I didn't know about OTC drugs being abused. What is this next generation thinking? This is ridiculous!

 

[PamjO]

I am scared stiff. My son will be 21 in 8 months. I figure the alcohol will become a problem then. I figure I have 8 months to sell my house and get out of Dodge. He refuses treatment-doesn't think he needs it-believes rehab is for those abusing opiates only.

 

[buddy]

I"d be scared too. Do you have support for yourself? Any of the groups that the parents here recommend in your area? Though my son has behaviors from different reasons, that need to start to separate our hearts from how we want things to be, our dreams for them, and to face what is, can be made more "doable" with support. You are living a very stressful life right now, something has to change and you sound strong (may not feel it) and ready to do something.

 

[PamjO]

My nightmare continues. The latest is his job loss due to stealing (stealing to support the habit). Charges will be filed against him if restitution isn't paid. He has no money as it has all been spent on drugs - I'm tired (very, very tired) of helping him out. Have tried giving him jobs to do around the house to earn a small amount of money, but that has never worked out very well. I don't know what to do anymore - I'm hanging on by a thread.

 

[Nancy]

Pam,

My difficult child just turned 21 in June. Even after sixty days in residential drug prodram, five weeks of intensive outpatient and six months of a sober house, she reelapsed and now says she does not have a drinking or drug problem. Even though she has lost numerous jobs because of it andf has stolen from her employer and is in debt and making horrible choices, she says she doessn't have a problem.

There isn't much anyone can do until they decide for themselves that they need help. Until then all you can do is take care of yourself.

Nancy

 

[PamjO]

My biggest fear is going home and finding him dead from an overdose. Does anyone live with this fear??

 

[AmericanGirl]

Yes. I jump every time my phone rings after about 9pm.

 

[PamjO]

I still see glimpses of the person my son was - it haunts me terribly...that I cannot get through the drugs to reach him.

 

[toughlovin]

Yes i definitely live with that fear....although my son is across the country living on the streets....my new fear is he will overdose and i wont even hear about it. They do find ways to survive though....and i just keep repeatinf the serenity prayer.

TL

 

[PamjO]

Someone-anyone..please tell me how you cope when the addict is living at home. As much as I want to throw him out...he won't survive, there's not even a remote chance. I've taken back the car...I give no money (ever)...I buy no gifts with resale value...he does drugs in my home while I'm at work...what the heck do I do????

 

[Calamity Jane]

Pam,
Have you thought of contacting a certified interventionist? It may be well worth your while to pose these questions to him/her, as your dilemma is no doubt the reason why many people turn a blind eye to their adult kid's drug use in the home. Fear of their homelessness paralyzes parents, significant others, etc., allowing the illness to ultimately control everyone in the home.

 

[PamjO]

I have not contacted an interventionist...how do I go about that...I want my son in rehab, and if he refuses rehab, I want him to leave.

 

[pinevalley]

Pam: Welcome to this community. You will find a lot of very wise parents here who understand what you are going through. Just keep posting and reading the boards for a lot of good information.

My 18 year old son also started abusing k2 and then over the counter cold medicine. He got such a high from the over the counter pills that he started to take more and more pills every day. We refused to give him any money for his habit and he then started to shoplift the pills. He also started to steal jewelry from two neighbors to get money for his drugs and he was eventually arrested. My son has told me that if he was not arrested he might be dead right now from all the drugs that he was doing. So in a very strange way getting arrested probably saved his life.

Yes, I worried about my difficult child every time he left the house, and I was scared whenever the phone rang and our son was not home, It was a terrible way to live, and I am so sorry that you are living this nightmare. Has your son asked you to pay the money for the restitution from his stealing? You might want to talk to a lawyer to see if your son can be court ordered into a drug treatment center. He might agree to go to rehab instead of sitting in jail for his crimes. Please try to take care of yourself, even though it is very hard to do. Remember that you did not cause your son's drug addiction, and you can not cure him either. The only thing that you can really control is what you do for yourself. I will be praying for you and your son. HUGS....

 

[Calamity Jane]

Pam,
If you google Intervention TV, it will bring you to the website of the TV show. I believe they have a link to a list of certified interventionists from every state on that website. The interventionist's goal is to get the patient to rehab as well.

 

[PamjO]

Have any of you ever had the police at your home? They showed up at my house to talk to my son...who is over 18...concerning theft from his employer. My son was not arrested, but advised to contact his former employer and arrange restitution. Can't take much more-this is crazy. Stealing for drugs...

 

[Nancy]

We have had the police at our home many times in the past, always because we called them. However last year she stole over $1,000 from her employer by swiping her credit card and taking the money from their cash drawer. She didn't think it was stealing because it went on her credit card, which she hasn't paid and has no intention of paying. I wish they had called the police because she has stolen from every employer she has ever had and she now thinks she can get away with it.

I hope he makes restitution because f he doesn't they will probably press charges.

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

Pam we have had many calls from the police. We live in a small town and the police know my son well, way too well. And in fact the surrounding town police departments know him too. It is embarrassing really... my husband and I have never been in trouble with the police before!! What I have learned though is to hold my head up high, his misdeeds and stupid behaviors are not MY behaviors and the police know that hopefully. We have also called 911 a couple of times for overdoses, and we went to the police to help get him out of the house when we kicked him out when he was 18.

So it is hard... but hold your head up high.... and I have come to know that many more families have the police come to their home for one reason or another than you would think!!!

TL