I have never withheld a private evaluation from the school district, but I learned the hard way to keep tight control over communication between sd and private professionals. Under no circumstances do I allow direct communication with-difficult child's private professionals without personally being in the meeting or involved in the conference call.
In school year 2001-2002, difficult child was having horrible problems in school -- and I had had enough. In January 2002 he had been denied an IEP because he was "making good grades" and his behaviors were strictly due to "willfulness and lack of structure in the home." They were about to put my kid in the hospital. I could get zero help from the school. This is how it played out. (Excerpts from emails; Dr. D was difficult child's psychologist.)
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">From: Mom
Sent: Wednesday, April 17, 2002 4:01 AM
To: Principal
Cc: Dr. D; Asst. Principal
Subject: Discpline Appeal regarding 04-16-02 suspension
I received a telephone call from Ms. Asst. Principal today regarding difficult child and Steven fighting in PE. I do not recall exactly the punishment she said that she was going to assess for difficult child -- something like the remainder of today in BIC and suspended for two days. I told her this is unacceptable. She advised I would need to send a letter to you within 48 hours, so here it is.
I am quite frustrated and distressed with all this. It has only been in the last few days that difficult child has returned to consistently sleeping in his bed rather than on the floor of his room or ours, has not been soiling his underwear, stopped having nightmares, and can get to sleep at a reasonable time -- all due to from the last incident of 5 or 6 days in BIC. My son can not be educated when he is not in the classroom. Reviewing all of difficult child's referrals to the office, it appears that the majority of these type problems come into play when there is a substitute present and/or difficult child is in an unstructured environment.
If you will review the discipline referrals, I believe it will also become obvious to you that more than "willfulness" is going on.
From where I am sitting, this is what I see:
I have:
* asked in writing for a Functional Behavioral Analysis to be done -- ignored.
* tried to explain about difficult child's auditory processing problems -- ignored.
* tried to explain about difficult child's sensory problems -- ignored.
* tried to relay his performance anxieties -- ignored.
* tried to explain about his receptive and expressive language problems -- ignored.
* tried to explain the emotional problems related to school -- ignored.
* tried to relay information related to ADHD -- either ignored or not understood.
* tried to explain about difficult child's fine motor problems in his writing hand -- ignored.
* asked for social skills training -- ignored.
* tried to give XISD personnel enough information to understand difficult child's first five years of life while still protecting as much of his privacy as possible -- ignored or affects not understood.
* tried to relay the best ways I have found to handle difficult child's behaviors -- ignored or misused.
*
asked that Dr. D be contacted for consultation -- to the best of my knowledge, this has not happened yet.
I do not care about cookie-cutter procedures for administering discipline; they are not appropriate for our son. I care about positive redirection and reinforcement.
The more I learn about things, the more I come to understand how a lot neurological problems overlap and the challenges they present. I do not know how to explain this to XISD, and based on past experience, it would not be given any credence anyway. I do care that somebody, somewhere with XISD understand all the factors difficult child deals with and has the expertise to relay the information and proper handling to pertinent personnel. I do care that my son is overseen at all times by appropriately trained personnel and that he receives the support he requires which will give him the opportunity to be educated without unnecessary struggle and further damage to his self-esteem
.
In any event, on Thursday and Friday I will be out of town. I am not going to change my plans because of the suspension -- it is my opinion it is inappropriate punishment. I do not approve of it, I will not condone it, nor will I be utilized as an instrument in carrying it out. If it were my ultimate decision, difficult child would be presented at school Thursday morning because it is a school day, and it is a necessity that he be present in the classroom in order to learn and keep up with the curriculum. Further, I am not going to be put in the position of having to hire a babysitter when difficult child is suppose to be attending school because appropriate interventions have not been implemented. Nor will I hire a tutor of some sort that can "teach" the assignments sent home because he's not in the classroom and I'm not available to help him. Why? Because I firmly believe the majority of incidences resulting in discipline referrals could have been avoided if appropriate measures were in place starting many months back -- this one included. I've been told repeatedly there is "no problem" of any "significance" at school so I am looking to XISD to appropriately handle these "non-problems."
At this time I do not know what husband's intentions are relating to school on Thursday.
Well, just as I predicted to Ms. Asst. Principal during our telephone conversation. It's 3:00 a.m. and difficult child was up with a nightmare at 2:30 a.m. He's now sleeping on the living room floor because he is "scared." Besides my son's emotional upset, I strongly suspect our household can look forward to another 3 to 4 week bout of repercussions from insignificant, non-problems as a result of the latest non-event.
I am quite concerned about this. I'll be home late tomorrow afternoon. Please expedite your response. I don't recall that I ever received a reply to my last letter regarding the incident resulting in 5 or 6 days in BIC before and after Spring Break. I would appreciate hearing from you by the end of the business day tomorrow.</div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">To: Mom
Sent: Thursday, April 18, 2002 4:40 PM
Subject: RE: Discpline Appeal regarding 04-16-02 suspension
Sheila:
I talked to Mrs. Asst Superintendent today about your appeal, our handling of this incident, etc. She agreed that difficult child was under the regular disciple plan with standard consequences.
I also talked to Dr. D. She said difficult child needs to be responsible for his behavior.
Ms. Principal
</div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">From: Mom
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002 11:06 PM
To: Dr. D
Subject: Discpline Appeal regarding 04-16-02 suspension
I received the e-mail above from Ms. Principal regarding difficult child being expelled from school. I'd like to hear your side of the conversation.
Sheila
</div></div>
Excerpt from Dr. D's response to me.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
INTERESTING! I DID say that, among a lot of other, much more instructive (I hoped) things! She didn't even ask me about the suspension (I assumed that was because she didn't call me back until Thursday afternoon--They were having TAAS) -- we talked about his special needs, that I did believe that he had a central auditory processing problem and sensory motor integration problems that were directly affecting his behavior, and if they weren't already, would be negatively affecting his grades.
I recommended that they reconsider desginating him as a "handicapped" student, based on Other Health Impairment (ADD & perceptual processing problems) and give him the full benefit of special education.
I recommended that they also take a look at him in a psychological evaluation that included the kinds of psychological tests that could help look at difficult child's underlying issues. I told her that just looking at behavior rating scales and interviewing would not provide any more helpful information than they already had, which did not take into consideration difficult child's underlying issues and his first five years.
I emphasized that difficult child needed more than the kind of discipline accorded a regular student, and that we needed to work together (with you and husband) to find a way to serve him more appropriately, and help you two feel that they were going to meet his needs.
Dr. D
</div></div>
In the 2004-2005 school year, difficult child was re-evaluated by the sd after much more "to do" and at parent request. He was deemed eligible for an IEP. One of the things they wanted in his IEP was direct contact between difficult child's private professionals without having me involved. No way.
It's written into his IEP that I will coordinate and participate in all contacts. Haven't had a request for coordinating a meeting or conference call to date.
