Hello all I am new to this forum. Hope sharing my story will help others and will also help me. Thank you all in advance!
I am a single mother of 18 years old boy. He is residing with my parents his grandparent in another state since I am working in a big city and busy all the time my parents have offered their help to watch him and take care of him while he was at the private school.
May be me leaving separately from him and being a single mother was a root cause of the problem but it is too late to undo that anyway.
Also there is no father figure in his life. Grandfather could hardly play this role. To addition to that he has a club foot even it was thread with the surgery there are more are expected and he is trying to bring it as an excuse to his performance at school and general behavioral issues every time I am trying to have a conversation with him.
He always had performance issues at school from the beginning and was balancing between D and F.
However private tutoring, online schooling and other individual options worked much better and that is how he was able to earn credits at 9[SUP]th[/SUP] and 10[SUP]th[/SUP] grade in HS.
However he was always complaining of him being unhappy in private school and was always asking to transfer him to the regular public school with the promises to improve the performance.
I made a mistake of believing him and when he started his 11[SUP]th[/SUP] grade at the regular public school then the real fun begun.
Almost every day it was class skipping, no homework doing what so ever, weekend hanging with friends, drinking and marijuana use.
And non-stop assuring that he will take care of things. As a result he earned no credits for the 11[SUP]th[/SUP] grade.
At this senor year things are even worse: he got caught with shop lifting, possession of marijuana, suspended at the school for bringing scale and a pipe to the school.
And he still needs to earn 6 credits in case to be graduated in June. School has offered him online class option and the only thing he needs to do just to take some online classes that are very easy to learn and pass(for normal people). He could not even pass a driving permit exam.
Despite all of that he is continuing to do nothing, absolutely nothing expect getting more marijuana when he is out of it. And his only thoughts were to get money to buy more weed.
I was asking him to move out he is saying he is not moving anywhere and my poor parents his grandparent are not ready to call a police on him to physically kick him out of the house. They just are not capable of literally forcing their only grandson on a street and neither am I.
We afraid he is capable of begin roaming street and he could frizz to death like it happened a lot with homeless people in that region. Winter is brutal in that state.
So it continues: he is spending most of the time at home doing nothing expect only going out to get more weed and to get caught by police for a possession. Seems like he does not care about being caught either.
He refuses any counseling and so far passed all the drug tests. I dont know how it was possible at the special medical office but officially he is clean even though he is openly smoking marijuana.
I was thinking to place him at residential treatment facility but its required to do some prior counseling and positive drug tests. But that means he is not going to be graduated this year and no college for him either.
I am frustrated and depressed since I myself have Masters and MBA and have very good career and that helped me to survive as a single mother and keeping two households and I was hoping I will be proud of my only son but as it turned the only child could crash all the hopes in a very brutal way.
Any advice any reference any suggestion would be appreciated!
Thanks you, Nicelady.
I am a single mother of 18 years old boy. He is residing with my parents his grandparent in another state since I am working in a big city and busy all the time my parents have offered their help to watch him and take care of him while he was at the private school.
May be me leaving separately from him and being a single mother was a root cause of the problem but it is too late to undo that anyway.
Also there is no father figure in his life. Grandfather could hardly play this role. To addition to that he has a club foot even it was thread with the surgery there are more are expected and he is trying to bring it as an excuse to his performance at school and general behavioral issues every time I am trying to have a conversation with him.
He always had performance issues at school from the beginning and was balancing between D and F.
However private tutoring, online schooling and other individual options worked much better and that is how he was able to earn credits at 9[SUP]th[/SUP] and 10[SUP]th[/SUP] grade in HS.
However he was always complaining of him being unhappy in private school and was always asking to transfer him to the regular public school with the promises to improve the performance.
I made a mistake of believing him and when he started his 11[SUP]th[/SUP] grade at the regular public school then the real fun begun.
Almost every day it was class skipping, no homework doing what so ever, weekend hanging with friends, drinking and marijuana use.
And non-stop assuring that he will take care of things. As a result he earned no credits for the 11[SUP]th[/SUP] grade.
At this senor year things are even worse: he got caught with shop lifting, possession of marijuana, suspended at the school for bringing scale and a pipe to the school.
And he still needs to earn 6 credits in case to be graduated in June. School has offered him online class option and the only thing he needs to do just to take some online classes that are very easy to learn and pass(for normal people). He could not even pass a driving permit exam.
Despite all of that he is continuing to do nothing, absolutely nothing expect getting more marijuana when he is out of it. And his only thoughts were to get money to buy more weed.
I was asking him to move out he is saying he is not moving anywhere and my poor parents his grandparent are not ready to call a police on him to physically kick him out of the house. They just are not capable of literally forcing their only grandson on a street and neither am I.
We afraid he is capable of begin roaming street and he could frizz to death like it happened a lot with homeless people in that region. Winter is brutal in that state.
So it continues: he is spending most of the time at home doing nothing expect only going out to get more weed and to get caught by police for a possession. Seems like he does not care about being caught either.
He refuses any counseling and so far passed all the drug tests. I dont know how it was possible at the special medical office but officially he is clean even though he is openly smoking marijuana.
I was thinking to place him at residential treatment facility but its required to do some prior counseling and positive drug tests. But that means he is not going to be graduated this year and no college for him either.
I am frustrated and depressed since I myself have Masters and MBA and have very good career and that helped me to survive as a single mother and keeping two households and I was hoping I will be proud of my only son but as it turned the only child could crash all the hopes in a very brutal way.
Any advice any reference any suggestion would be appreciated!
Thanks you, Nicelady.