SuZir
Well-Known Member
difficult child was home this week and helped with our kitchen reno. He helped his granddad about 6 to 8 hours a day and they got lot done. We kept a rule that he would not be asked help during evenings and tried to encourage him to go and do his own things then. father in law just called that he dropped difficult child to train station and he is heading to ski resort with girlfriend and their friends for weekend. father in law also asked difficult child to come back for few days next week so they can get one part done and he is planning doing so (maybe Monday evening or Tuesday, he does have psychiatrist and therapist appointments at Monday in his home town.)
We promised to pay him some for the help and with the amount of work they have got done also husband is happy to pay. We didn't tell him how much and he just asked if it would be the same as his and easy child's hour wage have been when they have worked around the house to pay us back something wilfully broken/lost etc. That isn't much so we told him it would be bit more. Normally when they have done extra chores for money, we have given a chore and told how much we will pay, but this time we didn't know how long he would be here, what father in law was planning to do next and certainly didn't want to be task masters so not giving him exact amount worked better for us. I do find it a sign of maturity that he was fine with it. We actually plan to pay him well, but I really like that his first reaction isn't "what is in it for me?" any more.
Also otherwise his stay has been calm enough. easy child has been in foul mood and they have had some bickering and squabbles, some even physical, but I find that normal brotherly stuff. He has been relatively polite to husband and at times even sweet to me (and at times very annoying, of course, that is something he does very well) and it seems he and father in law have had mostly good time. But of course father in law does have a patience of a saint, I'm sure it would not have gone that well, if he would have worked with me or heaven forbid, husband.
He has been social enough, went out with friends one night, met few cousins another. Slept some, but not too well. We have been up because of nightmares watching silly tv together in two nights. Last night he tried oxazepam his team's doctor gave to him and I think he slept through the night. At least he wasn't awake same time with me (I still struggle with violent nightmares and don't sleep well.) Didn't seem overly anxious. He is worried that his psychiatrist will make him try SSRIs because of his sleep issues and overall anxiety next. His team's doctor has already told difficult child that if psychiatrist feels SSRI's are necessary difficult child will need to at least try. Of course difficult child is in theory allowed to decide himself about that kind of matters, but in reality... If team's doctor decides he has to take a medication, difficult child doesn't have much choice. As I said, he has psychiatrist appointment at Monday and we will see.
We promised to pay him some for the help and with the amount of work they have got done also husband is happy to pay. We didn't tell him how much and he just asked if it would be the same as his and easy child's hour wage have been when they have worked around the house to pay us back something wilfully broken/lost etc. That isn't much so we told him it would be bit more. Normally when they have done extra chores for money, we have given a chore and told how much we will pay, but this time we didn't know how long he would be here, what father in law was planning to do next and certainly didn't want to be task masters so not giving him exact amount worked better for us. I do find it a sign of maturity that he was fine with it. We actually plan to pay him well, but I really like that his first reaction isn't "what is in it for me?" any more.
Also otherwise his stay has been calm enough. easy child has been in foul mood and they have had some bickering and squabbles, some even physical, but I find that normal brotherly stuff. He has been relatively polite to husband and at times even sweet to me (and at times very annoying, of course, that is something he does very well) and it seems he and father in law have had mostly good time. But of course father in law does have a patience of a saint, I'm sure it would not have gone that well, if he would have worked with me or heaven forbid, husband.
He has been social enough, went out with friends one night, met few cousins another. Slept some, but not too well. We have been up because of nightmares watching silly tv together in two nights. Last night he tried oxazepam his team's doctor gave to him and I think he slept through the night. At least he wasn't awake same time with me (I still struggle with violent nightmares and don't sleep well.) Didn't seem overly anxious. He is worried that his psychiatrist will make him try SSRIs because of his sleep issues and overall anxiety next. His team's doctor has already told difficult child that if psychiatrist feels SSRI's are necessary difficult child will need to at least try. Of course difficult child is in theory allowed to decide himself about that kind of matters, but in reality... If team's doctor decides he has to take a medication, difficult child doesn't have much choice. As I said, he has psychiatrist appointment at Monday and we will see.
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