Elizabethm
New Member
hi all. I just found this page. Until today I thought I was the only one in the world dealing with this issue. Apparently there are lots of us.
My 19 year old struggles with anxiety, depression and now panic attack. He told me about this about 15 months ago. The past year has been a constant battle of me trying to force him to get help, ( take ur medications, go to therapy, practice your breathing) and him resisting help. He was hospitalized involuntarily 5 months ago because he told me he was going to kill him self which of course he said he didn't mean. I still believe he meant it at the time.
He stopped taking medications 2 months ago, is very angry, barely goes to school ( he is a sr in hs and needs 2 classs to graduate) and doesn't work. He has gotten at least 4 jobs in the past couple months that he doesn't go to or goes 1x and says his panic is so bad he either doesn't go back or has left mid shift. This weekend he lost 2 jobs for not showing up.
I am consumed with fear he will kill himself and guilt for whatever I do or don't do. I walk in eggshells trying not to upset him. My husband and I now go to therapy because we are such messes.
Every time I mention getting help via , therapy, medications, tapes, exercise, visualation, etc. he insists nothing will help him and gets angry.
In between all of this , he is a kind sweet loving kid. When he's not angry at me he is so loving and nice to me. He's suffering tremendously which is turning him into someone he's not.
I have been giving him gas and spending money since he stopped working in November with the stipulation that he was looking for work. At this point it's clear he can't work likr this. My therapist says I'm helping him avoid getting help by giving him money. I want to stop but I feel so guilty and will pretty much will do anything to make him happy including not paying my own bills to give him spending money and pay his court fees.
I know what we are both doing now is only making things worse.
I feel so alone and weak that I can't make a decision and when I do I don't follow through.
Anyone been where I am ? Should I stop giving him spending money or be more patient about him working and/or getting help.
Thx u all
My 19 year old struggles with anxiety, depression and now panic attack. He told me about this about 15 months ago. The past year has been a constant battle of me trying to force him to get help, ( take ur medications, go to therapy, practice your breathing) and him resisting help. He was hospitalized involuntarily 5 months ago because he told me he was going to kill him self which of course he said he didn't mean. I still believe he meant it at the time.
He stopped taking medications 2 months ago, is very angry, barely goes to school ( he is a sr in hs and needs 2 classs to graduate) and doesn't work. He has gotten at least 4 jobs in the past couple months that he doesn't go to or goes 1x and says his panic is so bad he either doesn't go back or has left mid shift. This weekend he lost 2 jobs for not showing up.
I am consumed with fear he will kill himself and guilt for whatever I do or don't do. I walk in eggshells trying not to upset him. My husband and I now go to therapy because we are such messes.
Every time I mention getting help via , therapy, medications, tapes, exercise, visualation, etc. he insists nothing will help him and gets angry.
In between all of this , he is a kind sweet loving kid. When he's not angry at me he is so loving and nice to me. He's suffering tremendously which is turning him into someone he's not.
I have been giving him gas and spending money since he stopped working in November with the stipulation that he was looking for work. At this point it's clear he can't work likr this. My therapist says I'm helping him avoid getting help by giving him money. I want to stop but I feel so guilty and will pretty much will do anything to make him happy including not paying my own bills to give him spending money and pay his court fees.
I know what we are both doing now is only making things worse.
I feel so alone and weak that I can't make a decision and when I do I don't follow through.
Anyone been where I am ? Should I stop giving him spending money or be more patient about him working and/or getting help.
Thx u all