Lost Adult son in late 30's. Drugs, homeless, theft

[not alone 123]

I am very thankful to find this site! For years I struggled feeling alone, but I know that people have been though even tougher things.
My son got involved with the wrong type of people in his early teens. He had a hard time with school and started smoking pot at a young age.
Long story short, he got into meth and fentanyl. He moved in with us about 5 years ago after being arrested for theft, spending a short time in jail.
He worked and was doing ok, but soon there were signs of more drug use and items missing. My husband said my son had to go or he would. I kicked him out of our house about a year ago, and he has gotten into more trouble, is homeless and is facing more time in the clink. I talk to him occasionally but find it hard to have a relationship of any kind if he is breaking the law.

This has been a heart wrenching experience. It has tested my faith and there have been many days I simply wanted to die. I pray for him every day, but I am being better about taking care of my own mental health by joining Nara-non, taking a vacation, spending time with friends and family, and finally reaching out to tell this shameful story. Life is too short to allow myself to have a nervous breakdown and negatively effect the friends and loved ones I have, including my son.

Many of you have gone through similar experiences. I am so thankful you shared them to help me in a dire time of need!

 

[Blighty]

Welcome not alone123
Sorry that you have a need to find these forums but I am so please to meet you. It's great to hear how you taking care of yourself in this situation. Love and hugs !

 

[Rockyroads!]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have good and bad days as we all do. Hugs to you too!!

 

[tommi]

I am very thankful to find this site! For years I struggled feeling alone, but I know that people have been though even tougher things.
My son got involved with the wrong type of people in his early teens. He had a hard time with school and started smoking pot at a young age.
Long story short, he got into meth and fentanyl. He moved in with us about 5 years ago after being arrested for theft, spending a short time in jail.
He worked and was doing ok, but soon there were signs of more drug use and items missing. My husband said my son had to go or he would. I kicked him out of our house about a year ago, and he has gotten into more trouble, is homeless and is facing more time in the clink. I talk to him occasionally but find it hard to have a relationship of any kind if he is breaking the law.

This has been a heart wrenching experience. It has tested my faith and there have been many days I simply wanted to die. I pray for him every day, but I am being better about taking care of my own mental health by joining Nara-non, taking a vacation, spending time with friends and family, and finally reaching out to tell this shameful story. Life is too short to allow myself to have a nervous breakdown and negatively effect the friends and loved ones I have, including my son.

Many of you have gone through similar experiences. I am so thankful you shared them to help me in a dire time of need!

Oh pumpkin you are telling my story just with different names. I am so sorry you are not alone; you are a good Mother.

 

[Rockyroads!]

Thank you! Thinking of you!

 

[joysheph]

Same story here. Except my 32 yrs is on probation for burgarly is on probation. He has 3 months to go . He has moved back home and it's been a roller coaster with us and his 23 yrs brother. We need strength and peace
And we moms need to put our self first

 

[MarCar]

I am very thankful to find this site! For years I struggled feeling alone, but I know that people have been though even tougher things.
My son got involved with the wrong type of people in his early teens. He had a hard time with school and started smoking pot at a young age.
Long story short, he got into meth and fentanyl. He moved in with us about 5 years ago after being arrested for theft, spending a short time in jail.
He worked and was doing ok, but soon there were signs of more drug use and items missing. My husband said my son had to go or he would. I kicked him out of our house about a year ago, and he has gotten into more trouble, is homeless and is facing more time in the clink. I talk to him occasionally but find it hard to have a relationship of any kind if he is breaking the law.

This has been a heart wrenching experience. It has tested my faith and there have been many days I simply wanted to die. I pray for him every day, but I am being better about taking care of my own mental health by joining Nara-non, taking a vacation, spending time with friends and family, and finally reaching out to tell this shameful story. Life is too short to allow myself to have a nervous breakdown and negatively effect the friends and loved ones I have, including my son.

Many of you have gone through similar experiences. I am so thankful you shared them to help me in a dire time of need!

You just said my story, my son is 32, does drugs, and mental issues, but he doesn't have a problem its us. I was very depressed, and felt like a bad parent, but going to counseling and here has helped me a lot, I learn to accept his life decisions, all I do is pray for him, I leave him in God's hands, only God can save him, I had to learn that I can't. Hang in here, we are all in this together

 

[Acacia]

As others have said, our stories mirror each others'. The trick, I think, is living with the heartbreak, but still being able to find joy in life. I'll always have a broken heart about two of my three adult children - one a 37 year old grandiose, mean addict, the other a forty-two borderline addict.

After years of enabling I finally put the focus back on me with counseling, reading, twelve step, and self-care. I love my children, but I am choosing to love myself as much. As much sorrow as there is in the world, there is also beauty and joy. I know all of us have tried to be the best mothers we could be. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Acacia]

As others have said, our stories mirror each others'. The trick, I think, is living with the heartbreak, but still being able to find joy in life. I'll always have a broken heart about two of my three adult children - one a 37 year old grandiose, mean addict, the other a forty-two borderline addict.

After years of enabling I finally put the focus back on me with counseling, reading, twelve step, and self-care. I love my children, but I am choosing to love myself as much. As much sorrow as there is in the world, there is also beauty and joy. I know all of us have tried to be the best mothers we could be. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Rockyroads!]

Same story here. Except my 32 yrs is on probation for burgarly is on probation. He has 3 months to go . He has moved back home and it's been a roller coaster with us and his 23 yrs brother. We need strength and peace
And we moms need to put our self first

Thank you for your feedback!

 

[tommi]

WHEN DOES IT END