My 4 year old is making himself throw up

[soapbox]

That was mine, in Kindergarten!

Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) is tough to get a diagnosis on, but even getting an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation that flags the motor skills issues, really helps. Occupational Therapist (OT) therapy makes a difference. Plus they can document the need for certain accommodations at school as well... as he gets older, that would include a "scribe" for tests and/or oral exams and/or "alternate format" exams (usually multiple choice/very short answer); reduced expectations for volume of work, modified PE, and so on. This one is worth pursuing now, if you can. The current effort going into coloring etc. is necessary for motor development, it just won't develop as fast as his peers.

Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) is harder. They have to be old enough that other dxes can be ruled out and/or controlled - ADHD being the primary example. So, rather than push for a diagnosis on this now, bring it up as a point at school... make sure he is given the instructions "directly to HIM" rather than expecting him to pick it up from the instructions given to the rest of the class. Teacher should draw example while explaining instructions or demonstrate with actions, only talk with face directly toward him (even bending over to pick up a piece of paper, makes it hard to hear).

BUT... forgot to mention that what looks like Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) could also be a hearing problem - so get THAT part tested now, and likely ruled out. It points one more finger at Auditory Processing Disorders (APD)... unless it really is hearing, in which case there are OTHER things to do.

 

[InsaneCdn]

About the lunch-box thing... that's probably another red flag, for Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation... for sensory issues. Not unusual to be testing both motor skills and sensory issues... Its another one of those things where Occupational Therapist (OT) therapy helps, and early intervention is best.

Wise move to give him some control over what goes in, and still have him eating lunch...

 

[apesfordana]

My son will either color in very small tight strokes or large scribbles - so the teacher says he's too slow. She tries to get him to color bigger, but in the lines. She asked that I work on excersizes by putting a dot on each side of a piece of paper & having him color between the dots to learn that he can get more done with bigger strokes.

He doesn't dig bike riding and he isn't huge with utensils or building - so I've always felt that he was slower with fine motor skills. We've had him play with playdoh a lot to build up his muscles - that has helped a ton with holding & using utensils & pens/pencils/markers.

He's good with scissors, drawing lines & circling objects. He isn't great with throwing or catching balls, and does his darndest to pump on the swing but can't quite get it all going.

I've always tried to push getting him in tumbling or karate - something to get extra practice & focus on coordination. But sounds like Occupational Therapist (OT) may be more necessary just in case getting him in to something like that would put punctuation on how behind he may be against other kids???

Also, the one on one thing is a little difficult, because the approach in the room focuses on individual learning for part of the day - because they feel it is an important skill. The kids are in desks facing the wall along the parameter of the room with walls between each of them. They are only in these spots for a little while each day - there is also a table in the middle of the room & a carpet for group reading/activities. The approach there is to find different situations where the kids do struggle - to expose the kids to different styles of learning and address issues now - in pre-k. I LOVE the set up & clearly it has helped us to expose some issues. But I worry about going from this really cool school that we've found to the public school world.

 

[soapbox]

Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) is typically a developmental issue, which means that there are skills they can learn, and often can learn well... but it will take them a LOT longer to develop the mental coordination to do so. A few issues may linger, including fatigue from high-coordination work.

I'd be wary of pushing the "speed" of his coloring... he really CAN'T do it, if it is a motor-coordination issue. And yes, from what you've described, trying to get him engaged in group athletic activities is likely to highlight - to HIM as well as to others - the gap in his skills and speed of learning this stuff... I'd be working with an Occupational Therapist (OT) first, not just evaluation, and then the Occupational Therapist (OT) can help with those kinds of discussions.

 

[soapbox]

Should have added... the gap will not be quite as noticable right now, as it will be in a year or two. This age is when you start noticing... by grade 1, HE will know he's not the same as others. Managing THAT part is vital... he needs things like the Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation, so that you and the Occupational Therapist (OT) can explain to him WHY some things are harder, and what you are doing to help him, and what it means for the long run... because he WILL notice, and if you aren't ready for that, he may hide his feelings and that leads to secondary issues.

 

[HaoZi]

I have auditory figure ground, so I can tell my personal experience with it. I'm also near-sighted, and it's kind of like that. There are times I can tell that someone has spoken, but not been able to make out what they're saying, and other times that all sounds are noise (sometimes overwhelmingly) and sometimes voices just blend right into the background noise and I never pick them up.

ETA: http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/ears/central_auditory.html#
Page 3 lists some specifics

 

[InsaneCdn]

Our audiologist had an interesting article in her waiting room... One key point was that the more effort you have to put into "catching" the words, the less mental energy you have left to make sense of what you are hearing. This is true whether the probem is auditory figure ground, or whether it is a simple hearing problem.

Less background noise = less effort = better "attention" to what is said, and therefore you "get it".

BUT... mental fatigue sets in, too, so that even if the setting NOW is close to ideal, if you've spent most of the day fighting to hear, you STILL may not catch it. And this one... nobody gets.

 

[apesfordana]

He's done it again. Stuck his hand & made himself throw up at school. Now we have to find a new place for him. I'm at a total loss for what to do.

Feeling crushed.

 

[Malika]

Sorry to hear this. Why do you have to find a new place - because the school is insisting on it?? What were the circumstances? Did he eat at the school or bring a packed lunch?
It's a sensory thing, isn't it, apart from anything else? Where are you with the evaluations?
Hope others will be along with suggestions.

 

[Ktllc]

Take it one step at a time. As much as possible, try to analyze your current situation:
Do YOU need him to go to preschool because you are working or need time for yourself?
Do you want him to go to preschool for: socialization, early academics, both?
Would your son rather stay home or go to preschool?
What kind of option do you have in your area: home base, faith, montessori, small, large, etc?
Obviously, some answers to those questions should have priority over others (ie: you work and can't do without childcare).
The key is to have a method to all the madness, been there done that.
Should your son need services, could you drive him, could he receive services within the preschool or at home? Once again, all depends on your local resources.
How long he goes to school is also a huge factor. Reducing the school day by 2 hours made a BIG difference for my son.
If you wish, try to answer some of those questions and we'll hep figure things out.

 

[apesfordana]

We basically had to make the decision to try a new school because his current daycare said so - in so many words. There is still nothing wrong with him - according to my husband - so moving to a new place is a test to see if a change of environment is key. The school he was in was a church daycare, so we feel that they may have been pushing my son quite hard in places that perhaps a 4 year old really shouldn't be pushed if he isn't ready. At first, my son loved his school. Over time, he started asking when the weekend was every day. When he brings his books home, he shows us pages he's proud of, but tries to hide pages where he didn't to as well - pages with frowny faces and large writing about not following instructions or staying inside the lines... a little too much if you ask me.

The new school we've found is the early education center in the school district where he will start kindergarten in the fall. And, although we both work and really need to use daycare, we can only get in to this school for 3 days a week. The pre-k curriculum lasts longer in the day, but we're hoping that maybe a day off between well even that out. And we're also hoping that this pre-k takes a slight step back & isn't making 4yr olds read and write and memorize gospel.

My husband and I still disagree on what is causing this and what some other problems with our son may be. But we have agreed if the behavior carries over to the new school, I have the go ahead to start looking in to early intervention or other evaluations. I told my husband that I didn't want to go behind his back to get help... he insists that I'm just working to rationalize the behavior of a 4yr old. My point is that yes, he is 4 and doesn't understand what he's doing. So it IS my job to help him. Either by accomodating his issues - packing his lunch with a balanced meal that he likes, showering him with love - because this majorly feels like cries for attention, or refusing to let him get spanked or severely punished for this - because we aren't there when it happens and he has no other distruptive behaviors at school.

Trying to start the new school next week if they'll have us. Fingers crossed.

 

[HaoZi]

Good luck! If this new one is what will be his SD then hopefully problems will be identified before he starts K and help can be in place for him when he starts.

 

[buddy]

pages with frowny faces and large writing about not following instructions or staying inside the lines... a li

Are you kidding me? Holy cow that is old stinking thinking....

in my humble opinion of course but even when I was in college in the 80's they talked about not using sad faces etc. AND a 4 year old is supposed to color outside of the lines! If they can do it great, but no way are they supposed to be able to do it well.

You might have a child who is just a bit high strung but pushed over his limit. Or, you might have a real issue here. You did a good job compromising with hubby, and advocating for your son.

sorry that was such a rushed, stressful kind of task, but now that you have provided the school info, I am almost relieved for you! Do you think his days off are going to be covered ok? I didn't fully understand what you are planning for the no school days... each take a day off each week?

Can you start right from the beginning to send food instead of buying it? It is often healthier option anyway. Or is that part of hubby's thinking, he just wants to see if it was environment so only change one thing for now?

Hugs to him, I feel badly he needed to do that for whatever the reason. Even if it is attention, there is a reason behind it. You are such a good mom.

 

[carolina]

Hello!
I know it has been nearly 4 years since this threat was originally posted but I'm having a bit of a situation with my kid and was wondering how did it go with your son..did certain approach work? Can we have an update, please?