BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I will tell the short version. I need to vent and for once am totally empathetic and horrified for my difficult child.
My ex has always had a "me" streak and a sort of life cluelessness and mean streak. I knew it was a bad idea for my son when he got his father to pay his legal bills so that he could fight for equal parenting rights of his son and then, as his ex moved and tried to eliminate him from his sons life, he went back to court to get the residential address from his ex so that grandson can continue going to the school that he has always gone to. Grandson is shy, but comfortable in his school and doing very well.
Ex wants to yank him out of school to the one near where she now lives both for her own convenience and to make my son drive my grandson over an hour to and from school on his custodial days.
Her move was strictly to put as much distance as legally possible between my grandson and son and to isolate them from one another but son went to court. My ex is finding the defense and threatens to cut son off constantly, although he adores grandson,
And so far he has not cut him off.
If grandsons mother did not keep on trying to separate son from grandson they would not be in court. As it is, ex has paid a ton to help my son won court case...but nothing is free. I get it. For having ex fund our son, son has to put up with a lot of fear, control and abuse from ex, and son is no peach either.
This Christmas my son did not have his son at all and was very depressed about it. Usually they have to split time unless one decides to take son out of town. Grandsons mother exercised this option to leave town for Christmas and son has been talking to both myself and his father about how sad he was that she took son to Chicago to see her family and that he will not get to see U the entire time. A lot of her decision was to isolate grandson from my son. She does not like or see her own family That much. Her mission has been to keep our son from his kid although she is not very nice to my grandson herself and her new husband is worse to him.
Son found out from grandson when he finally got him back that sons own father, who is paying tons in court to allegedly defend our son and grandson against sons ex 's constant.moves to separate them, met for lunch with son's ex wife, the husband of hers that cheated with her while she was still married to our son (and has slapped grandson across face), their own baby and Grandson. It was for lunch and ex claimed it was just to see J., who was uncomfortable with it, and he warmly socialized with them.
He told Grandson in front of everyone not to tell our son about the meeting. But Grandson told him right away. He is a gifted eight year old and caught the betrayal and asked my son "can I not see Grandpa again?"
My son confronted his father. Crying, telling him it felt like a terrible betrayal and my hunch his ex wife just wanted to fish for information she could use in the legal case and use against him. They are vn court on ex's dime because grandsons mother is hell bent on minimizing son's time with his child. Ex told him that he didn't do anything wrong, yelled and hung up. I know my ex. He planned this in advance and talked to my son about his sadness at not having his son for Christmas, all the while knowing HE was going to see grandson, son's ex, cheating husband and their baby.
He told Princess before hand. Princess is not close to our son but she told her father it was a bad idea and wouldn't work. Ex did not expect J to tell our son. He thought that this eight year old gifted child would forget about it four days later. An eight year old isn't a toddler. They don't forget.
So Son, afraid father may pull the money now, and feeling betrayed by his father, actually grew up a bit and decided to find a way to pay his lawyer if he has to do it on his own. He'd be very broke, but he makes good money and could do it by a hair.
From my son's point of view their relationship (him and his father) lost so much trust that he doesn't want to see him again. Ex usually visits st. Louis about eight times a year. Son is done with him because he feels betrayed and he doesn't forget a grudge.
The bottom line is son will have to grow up and finally pay his own lawyer and my ex just lost a grandson. Son, when talking to me, slid into nasty and called his father by his first name "because he's not my father anymore for lying to me and deceiving me and trying to get I to lie to me"
J tells him everything.
I am appalled by ex and puzzled. He sees J alot and didn't need to embrace all the people working hard against my son just to see his grandson for a few hours.
It is what IT IS. Son will grow fast. My ex lost a son and grandson. For all his crying "how can he have done this to me" my son sounded more grounded, strong and determined to control his own destiny.
So maybe it's for the best, but I, like son, feel like his father embraced the enemy. I did not repeat that to son, but I was horrified when I heard.
My ex tried to call me I'm sure to complain about son's anger at him over this but I want no part of it. I talked to him once and saw he didn't get it so have been ignoring his further calls. The last thing I told him before getting off the phone was "I am not a part of this. It's between you and son."
What a nigjt!!! I am so done with this
My ex has always had a "me" streak and a sort of life cluelessness and mean streak. I knew it was a bad idea for my son when he got his father to pay his legal bills so that he could fight for equal parenting rights of his son and then, as his ex moved and tried to eliminate him from his sons life, he went back to court to get the residential address from his ex so that grandson can continue going to the school that he has always gone to. Grandson is shy, but comfortable in his school and doing very well.
Ex wants to yank him out of school to the one near where she now lives both for her own convenience and to make my son drive my grandson over an hour to and from school on his custodial days.
Her move was strictly to put as much distance as legally possible between my grandson and son and to isolate them from one another but son went to court. My ex is finding the defense and threatens to cut son off constantly, although he adores grandson,
And so far he has not cut him off.
If grandsons mother did not keep on trying to separate son from grandson they would not be in court. As it is, ex has paid a ton to help my son won court case...but nothing is free. I get it. For having ex fund our son, son has to put up with a lot of fear, control and abuse from ex, and son is no peach either.
This Christmas my son did not have his son at all and was very depressed about it. Usually they have to split time unless one decides to take son out of town. Grandsons mother exercised this option to leave town for Christmas and son has been talking to both myself and his father about how sad he was that she took son to Chicago to see her family and that he will not get to see U the entire time. A lot of her decision was to isolate grandson from my son. She does not like or see her own family That much. Her mission has been to keep our son from his kid although she is not very nice to my grandson herself and her new husband is worse to him.
Son found out from grandson when he finally got him back that sons own father, who is paying tons in court to allegedly defend our son and grandson against sons ex 's constant.moves to separate them, met for lunch with son's ex wife, the husband of hers that cheated with her while she was still married to our son (and has slapped grandson across face), their own baby and Grandson. It was for lunch and ex claimed it was just to see J., who was uncomfortable with it, and he warmly socialized with them.
He told Grandson in front of everyone not to tell our son about the meeting. But Grandson told him right away. He is a gifted eight year old and caught the betrayal and asked my son "can I not see Grandpa again?"
My son confronted his father. Crying, telling him it felt like a terrible betrayal and my hunch his ex wife just wanted to fish for information she could use in the legal case and use against him. They are vn court on ex's dime because grandsons mother is hell bent on minimizing son's time with his child. Ex told him that he didn't do anything wrong, yelled and hung up. I know my ex. He planned this in advance and talked to my son about his sadness at not having his son for Christmas, all the while knowing HE was going to see grandson, son's ex, cheating husband and their baby.
He told Princess before hand. Princess is not close to our son but she told her father it was a bad idea and wouldn't work. Ex did not expect J to tell our son. He thought that this eight year old gifted child would forget about it four days later. An eight year old isn't a toddler. They don't forget.
So Son, afraid father may pull the money now, and feeling betrayed by his father, actually grew up a bit and decided to find a way to pay his lawyer if he has to do it on his own. He'd be very broke, but he makes good money and could do it by a hair.
From my son's point of view their relationship (him and his father) lost so much trust that he doesn't want to see him again. Ex usually visits st. Louis about eight times a year. Son is done with him because he feels betrayed and he doesn't forget a grudge.
The bottom line is son will have to grow up and finally pay his own lawyer and my ex just lost a grandson. Son, when talking to me, slid into nasty and called his father by his first name "because he's not my father anymore for lying to me and deceiving me and trying to get I to lie to me"
J tells him everything.
I am appalled by ex and puzzled. He sees J alot and didn't need to embrace all the people working hard against my son just to see his grandson for a few hours.
It is what IT IS. Son will grow fast. My ex lost a son and grandson. For all his crying "how can he have done this to me" my son sounded more grounded, strong and determined to control his own destiny.
So maybe it's for the best, but I, like son, feel like his father embraced the enemy. I did not repeat that to son, but I was horrified when I heard.
My ex tried to call me I'm sure to complain about son's anger at him over this but I want no part of it. I talked to him once and saw he didn't get it so have been ignoring his further calls. The last thing I told him before getting off the phone was "I am not a part of this. It's between you and son."
What a nigjt!!! I am so done with this
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