Never needed rattled beads and board power like this before :( :(

[Mattsmom277]

Thank you all who responded since my last post.

I'll try my best to check in! I didn't post yesterday. First day since this happened that we spoke little of this, and just relaxed. I admit I slept all day off and on for the most part. I was so overtired and emotions riding high here. So the rest did all of us a ton of good!

S/O went to a walk in clinic for a check up on his eye in particular (I nagged, I confess. I had thought it would be improving and was a total worry wart, so he went to hush me up pretty much lol I used the "If you don't want to go, please go for me to show you love me and I'll sleep better" .. not fair but I was worried). All checked out well, meaning the doctor was not worried and said it will take time for his eye to heal, longer than the bruising etc of his face. I was much relieved and have stopped nagging, I'm sure he's relieved!!

We remain cautious and still do not go outside. We did go to do some groceries, but as we have a 24 hour run grocery store nearby, we went late at night and locked the house tight. We told difficult child he had to come with us (normally he never shops with us) and he didn't argue, just said 'k mom' and came along with no fuss. No way any of us remains alone in the house. We were so grateful for the calm day yesterday, you all have no idea how badly we needed that.

So now we continue what we've been doing and await that eviction, and then go from there once he no longer is right behind us. I'll be grateful for charges etc, and also for knowing he cannot see our comings and goings. Also that if we see him on the road, we can call police as he will have no need to be around here and will be suspicious from the time he enters the area.

Here's hoping to another calm and restful day!!!

Thanks everyone!

M.

 

[TerryJ2]

I am so glad you got some sleep, and a day with-o much talk of your neighbor.

As the others said, please check in with-us, just to say hello. We're all thinking about you.

 

[susiestar]

So glad you finally got some sleep. be SURE to take pics of husband's eye and face as he heals. Even take a picture daily if you can. If your camera has a date/time stamp use it. It will help to prove damages.

Have you gotten an appointment with teh regular doctor, the one the psycho sees too? You need to pressure him until he caves about making that call to the police to lock the man up.

I pray the eviction goes smoothly, and that the man never bothers you again.

Stay safe, stay calm.

Hugs!!

 

[Mattsmom277]

We do have pictures of S/O's face. I took some but the superintendent took some on her digital camera as well, i have them on my computer as well now. I hate to see them, it hurts to look directly at him still. it hurts to see someone I love with all my heart so disfigured and bruised. It brings pain but also a deep inner rage. It's an ugly feeling to feel such deep rage. If I ever doubted my love for S/O, this shows me how I am as protective of him as I am both difficult child and easy child. I dont know when I'll ever want to view these pictures

Not sure when we will see my doctor. I guess I"ll call in the morning. My superintendent will be joining me to back my story as well as give history and proof of what she herself has seen and knows, verify witness accounts of others on the road who spoke to her (and us) about what they've seen as well as what they've been told by this maniac over what we now know has been 4 full years, since he moved here.

I'm very angry at my doctor. I'm hurt at him turning a blind eye to myself, S/O, my children who have been his patients since they were born. I will never see him again as a doctor for myself and children, I can never trust him again. We will have to use walk in clinics or ER, we have wait lists for doctors here that are years and years long. Being so far north, we have a severe shortage of doctors. But I can't see myself going to him trusting him again.

We are relaxing again today. We went to walk to buy a coffee and go to the bank and nearly ran into him, he was in his back yard speaking to the one couple on the road that he's managed to somehow lie to. This couple have been close to my family for years and now have given us dirty looks and would not speak to us when we saw them earlier this week. That hurts. He will leave but this couple will always believe whatever this maniac has said. I have no clue what all has happened behidn our backs all these years. It's truly something out of a psycho movie.

We are relaxing as best we can, much better past day or two thankfully. I hope we continue to remain safe.

M.

 

[susiestar]

I am glad you are still safe. I agree that it will be hard to trust the doctor again. It would be worth getting on one of the wait lists now to get a new doctor eventually. Make sure the doctor knows how you feel.

I am glad the superintendent is going with you. Take the pics of SO's face. I know it hurts to look at them, but the doctor needs to see them. You will never not hurt when you see these pics. But bruises don't show the full effects right away. Chances are his bruises got worse and are now starting to get better. That is why I said to take pics, NOT because I thought you would ever want them as a reminder of this. They are fuel for legal action against the whackjob, the doctor, and the police who locked up SO.

As for the couple, surely someone on the block will clue them in. Maybe if you mentioned the dirty looks and chatting with whackjob to a neighbor, that neighbor will speak to them and tell them the REAL story.

I am glad you are relaxing today. Rest when you can. Be sure to continue getting exercise though.

 

[Mattsmom277]

One of our dearest friends is a widow who lives alone across the street. She knows psycho as well as our family very well. She made comments that eventually the buzz on the road would reach this couples ears. It still doesn't stop the hurt that even one close neighbour is tainted from this psycho. It is such a violation of our life, it seems to not end what we are learning. If only we'd known before! Not sure it wouldn't have just lead to a more sneak attack if his intent was to do harm, but one always wonders.

We are glad for the pictures, they will always be a painful reminder though. Some bruising is improving. Some got much worse until now it is beginning to heal. His eye is by far the most painful thing to see. It is also what will take longest to heal. To see blood in this loving mans eyes, i can't say how sick to my stomache I feel or a boatload of other emotions . We are discussing more and more the prospect of him doing his training at the military college instead of here in town. it would mean we would relocate across the province within a few months. difficult child is willing. easy child is clueless to all of this. It would depend on her father not fighting me for custody of easy child, wether we could go or not. We will speak with him when they return from holiday about all of this.

M.

 

[TerryJ2]

M,
I am so sorry about the gullible neighbors. There's always someone out there who will fall for something. As the other lady said, the other neighbors will get to them eventually.
I am so sorry about your SO's face and pain. For all of your pain.
Many hugs.

 

[Marguerite]

I'm glad you have the photos.

Don't be too hard on the neighbours or the doctor. The neighbours - they have only heard his version and as you already know, he can be plausible. Even the police beleived him to begin with, he's good. If you were in their shoes, you would probably be on his side too and beleiving him. He's probably said that SO started it and that So's bruises were from a fight he had been in before with someone else (thereby 'proving' SO has a violent disposition). As for the doctor - he/she has only got the police version, it's a doctor's job to stand by the patients and look after them. Also, a lot of doctors 'survive' by not getting involved. If the doctor had jumped in to write the report based solely on what the police said, I'd be a lot more worried about my own safety in the hands of that doctor. And if the doctor has since talked to the man and only got his version of events - what frame of reference is there/ YOU need to see the doctor, with the poice and photos if you need to, and I think you will see the doctor suitably horrified and concerned. But untuil then, I don't think the doctor will make that call. And if you wait too long, the doctor won't make thta call anyway because the man has probably said, "I'm OK now, I'm taking my medications again, it won't happen again."
The trouble is, such people can KNOW that they can use their own mental illness as a means to get away with murder, literally. They learn how to make the system work in their favour and it is very frustrating for police, for doctors, for family and neghbours when you KNOW what is gonig on but also know that legally, you must give them the benefit of the doubt because if you don't, a court will overturn your decisions.

As for having the pictures as a painful reminder - our computer screensaver uses all photos in our library as a sort of slideshow, when the computer "dozes off". IN our library are photos of difficult child 3 taken by the police and ambulance, when he had his head split open by a log thrown at him. I also have photos of the log (it's nasty). And every so often, one of these photos comes up on the screen. In the photos you can see the distress on difficult child 3's face - the horror, the pain and the despair. That hurts me even more than the sight of the blood. But I can't remove the photo, we need it on file.

Marg

 

[Mattsmom277]

Marg, too right on all you said. It's still hard to imagine people thinking badly of my S/O. He's a wonderful spouse and a wonderful step parent to my kids. He's moved mountains to be part of this family and I know its hard on him to have been so defenseless. He thinks he somehow let us down. I keep telling him NOBODY saw this coming and being attacked from behind and beated to the head well who could defend from that??? But men like him are protectors and I know its hard on him for that reason, as well as the logical reasons.

As for the doctor, well I am so disgusted that I cannot even go see him. I can't stomache it and we realized that now we HAVE waited too long. Given psycho has been quiet, we cannot prove at this stage that he is currently a danger. But bet your bootie that if he makes one threat with a witness or anything of hte like, I will NOT make an appointment. I will simply file another police report and be standing in docs office expecting to be seen or threatening legal action if doctor will not see us given the circumstances. My superintendent has a huge file on the nut and is willing to come to appointment with me to explain all of this and give other witness names and contact info so as that the doctor cannot pretend to cover his own butt and stay "out of it" by pretending it's my word over his other patients.

As for personally, this doctor will NEVER treat myself and my children again. I can see him not knowing any different story when nut got to him first. But when the call came from my super with the details etc and then my discussion and his receptionist getting the photos etc, he could have acted THEN. THere wasn't too long a period of time elapsed for him to have acted. A man with that little faith in me after 18 years of doctoring myself and the kids, and knowing this man for only 4 years and knowing his mental health history, well wouldn't you have investigated further after my call? Even to save his own butt legally, he did not a thing. I'm pretty jaded about him at this point.

Meanwhile, things remain quiet for now and we remain in the house and hopeful things remain calm till his eviction and charges get laid in full power of the law with much more investigation completed now. We definitly need to be able to relax like the past few days. We are only human, things like this take a major toll on a family.

We have decided we are going ahead with having military post us away from here. They wanted to in the first place, we had to special request to stay here. We wanted a couple of years before moving easy child to avoid her bio dad wanting to fight a move in court. Well this pushed our hand. Hopefully her bio dad understands, otherwise another stressful item in our future, court for custody of easy child. He is the type to fight. I hope he doesn't. But regardless, we must move. We can't live looking over our shoulder. This town is not very large either, so eventually we'd run into him. Who wants to live that way???

M.