New and needing it

[smallworld]

I was on vacation so I didn't get an opportunity to welcome you properly. So welcome to the board -- I'm so glad you found us.

FWIW, I think it's wise the psychiatric hospital is holding the Adderall until the docs know what they're dealing with. If your difficult child has a mood disorder like bipolar disorder, Adderall can make him much worse, and in fact, may have contributed to the behavior that led to his psychiatric hospital admittance. From everything I've read, it's not a problem to stop stimulants like Adderall cold turkey. In fact, many parents of children with pure ADHD give stimulants for school days only and not on weekends and school vacations. So I hope you will not worry about the decision the psychiatric hospital made.

Is the psychiatric hospital going to be doing any testing? Have the docs started any new medications at this point?

When you get a chance, please create a profile similar to mine below. Here's a link to how to do that:

http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8399

Creating a signature will help us remember your family circumstances every time we respond to your posts.

I'm glad you sought help for yourself. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.

 

[Andy]

You are having such a hard time with this. I am glad your doctor saw you right away.

Whenever you are doubting having done this, think, "If I hadn't admitted difficult child to psychiatric hospital, what would we be doing right now?" The answer may be dealing with yet another meltdown.

Also, phosps will not admit anyone that does not meet the criteria. They want what is best for your child and what is best is determined by admission assessments.

The acting out with staff scares you, however, it is a small comfort in that staff can "see" the worse behaviors and document in a way that difficult child will get the proper diagnosis. They know the terminology needed to make diagnosis.

If the cutting Adderall cold turkey worries you, ask to talk to the charge nurse about it. Discuss with the nurse also about his not seeming normal. Could that also be a side effect of withdrawal from the Adderall?

I think journaling here will help as you put concerns in writing. Once something is in writing, it seems so much easier to tackle - not so vague anymore.

Looking forward to your next update.

 

[carlard]

Today my mother called difficult child before I went to visit. I brought baby, husband, and bro-in-law (we all live together, fun!), and a Simpson's Clue game to give us an anchor.

difficult child was in lighter spirits than night before, but still slightly less warm than usual. Visit went well, played the game, chatted for a few minutes about roomate and activities. I let him know I would not be able to visit every day this coming week, but that I would call daily. He didn't seem too concerned.

Two hours after we had left, I get the call. I knew who it was before I answered. difficult child had to be held for 8 minutes for throwing chairs and hitting people in the kitchen. *sigh* Thank you.

He rarely EVER got violent before. Now it's a daily occurrence? Is there any small chance that having him here may be making it all worse??

Therapist says psychiatric-evaluations such as neurological testing is low on priority list, that evaluations SD did seemed thorough enough. I mentioned MD's and haven;t gotten a response besides "that's basically what we are doing".

I'm not worried today, for a change. Instead I'm curious. Is his behavior becoming "institutionalized"? Is that why it seems to be escalating? Is he angry that I have him there? (even though were he angry, he "normally" would tell me so, emphatically), could it be an adderall with-d? Just lots of questions, none of prime importance. I suppose it's just my brain trying to keep working, afraid what will happen if I stop moving.

Quote of the day - "it WILL get worse, it Always gets worse" ~ My optimistic mother

Highlight of the day- I haven't had to cook in 3 days!

 

[Calgon_Take_Me_Away]

Hi Carla ~

Welcome to CD! I've found useful information since I joined last week ~ hopefully you'll be able to as well.

We're getting prepared to place difficult child in a residential facility for his behaviors (more recently starting fires and trying to kill the family cat). It will be a minimum of another week, but I don't know the time frame.

Just wanted to welcome you, glad you found us and (((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Wiped Out]

Carla,
You have given a lot of good ideas and suggestions so I just wanted to add in my welcome. As you can tell, you are no longer alone in all of this. ((((hugs))))

 

[Andy]

The behavior could be his body adjusting to changes in medications. It could also be that he is focusing on what is going on within him and he is very scared.

Can you ask to talk to the psychiatric hospital doctor in private? Ask if this behavior is common in children. Ask the doctor if anyone has asked difficult child how he feels about being in the psychiatric hospital. What are the staff learning about difficult child? Unit staff may also be able to answer these questions but make sure they are not in difficult child's presence. There has got to be someone there you can get information from? I think asking to talk to the charge nurse would also lead to answers.

Very smart to take the board game with. Keep your visits with difficult child positive.

You know what? I bet you can call the unit now and ask to speak with the charge nurse on duty tonight. Ask her the above questions and see what she says. Ask if she can set up an appointment for you to visit with the doctor overseeing your son's case.

It is extremely hard for us to give our children over to people we don't know. Sometimes we have to take the first step in opening up communications - this will also show the facility that the parents want to be involved in the child's care. Approach staff as a member of the team. You are the most important member of the team to help difficult child.

 

[carlard]

I made an appointment to speak with doctor's and soc worker today. But to add to all of it, my mother just called me from NJ, my grandmother died this morning, after seven bouts of cancer. We knew it was coming...but I'm numb again, can;t process it just yet. If bad things come in threes, I'm terrified of what's coming next.

I may not be on much today, I'm oddly unsure what to do. Emotion-wise I mean. Time to go back into auto-mode.

 

[nvts]

Carla! I'm so sorry about your grandma - when it rains it pours. Keep in mind, this gives you someone watching difficult child in the psychiatric hospital. 24/7 now. 7 bouts of cancer - what a strong woman! Celebrate her life, she sounds like she would have wanted that!

I for one think the comment about difficult child being "textbook" bipolar. Some of us go YEARS looking for the right diagnosis. At least now they have direction.

For what it's worth, we took difficult child 1 off Concerta (54 mgs a day) overnight. It seems that stims are "fast in/fast out" which means that they start to work for the number of hours they're supposed to right away, and when time's up, they're out of your system - basically so kids can sleep at night. He's off all stims and is taking 2 mgs of Abilify 2x's a day. Different kid altogether!

Again, my prayers for you and your family at this time.

Oh and by the way, you've already had your 3. difficult child's meltdown, difficult child's hospitalization and now grandma.

beth

 

[Andy]

Have you hear of "Fight or Flight"? You yourself may be facing this right now. So much is coming at you - you are so overwhelmed that your body wants you to either come out swinging or run away. The problem is you do not know what/how you are suppose to swing at and you do not want to run and hide because you have a child to protect.

"Fight or Flight" usually doesn't work well. They are extreme actions to get you out of an uncomfortable situation. When you don't know how to react, you just get more and more overwhelmed.

To get rid of that feeling, you need to calm yourself down. Put EVERYTHING to the side for a moment and relax. Find the activity that helps you relax - sometimes it is going to a movie, sometimes it is breathing exercises (deep breathe in and slow breath out), sometimes it is a massage, sometimes it is a good nap or night's sleep, sometimes it is playing wth your baby. Tell yourself that you can not solve any problems at the moment - you will tackle the problems in a little bit and then focus on calming down.

O.K. Once you are calm, deal with only one issue at a time. "For 15 minutes, I am only going to think about getting laundry done" or "For the next 30 minutes, I am only going to focus on giving my little one some attention." You are only one person and can do only so much. Ask for help from everyone around. Setting up a daily schedule or to do list may also help (include one on one time with the baby on the list). So, when you start to become overwhelmed, look at the list and take one item to work on.

Time for you to regroup - be selfish - whatever it takes - it may take an entire day of focusing just on you but it will be worth it. You will be so much stronger for it.