Nightmares, anxiety, and lack of sleep for us all

[Josie]

I slept with my daughter for months when she was really sick. At first it was because she was in such pain, I wanted to be there for her while she went to sleep. I would always fall asleep myself so I just stayed there. Eventually, it morphed into an anxiety issue and we had to stop it.

I think there are other medications you can try for sleep so that at least he would stay asleep. My daughter has taken Trazadone, Remeron, Doxepin, and/or Elavil for sleep. All of those help with anxiety, too.

If you can get him to sleep through the night, then it would be easier to work on the going to sleep part. What worked for us was telling her that we would be back to check on her. We went back in one minute, before she had time to get out of bed or get really worked up. Then, we kept going back at very short intervals, increasing it as we could. Both times we have done this, she probably was going to sleep on her own within the first week. We told her we would come back, but she would be asleep already.

Even if he isn't sleeping all night, you could try it anyway. If he learns to go to sleep on his own, then he could do the same thing at night.

When my daughter did treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I realized that what we had done was exposure therapy. They learn to manage their anxiety and it loses its power over them.

 

[TerryJ2]

I have a hard time staying awake in a dark room after 7pm, lol.

LOL! Now THAT could be a problem. I hear you! All this great advice and there you are, snoring ...

I like the idea of music, too. Although if he's like I was, I'd be tensed up, waiting for that ending "click," and then I'd be wide awake.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I like the idea of music, too. Although if he's like I was, I'd be tensed up, waiting for that ending "click," and then I'd be wide awake.

If you have the right stuff, there is no "click". It loops continuously. For example, there are recordings of Pachelbel's Canon (I can never spell that right!) where it drifts from one variation, to another variation, and 10 or 12 variations later it has looped back to play the first one... you can leave it on, softly, all night.

 

[crazymama30]

Well, he started to have a meltdown about me not sleeping in his room, about the new bedtime schedule, but he did pull himself together. I had to leave to pick easy child up, do hopefully he will be more calm and his medications will have kicked in when I get home. Could be an interesting night.

 

[HaoZi]

I'll be waiting to hear how it goes.

 

[crazymama30]

When I got home last night from picking up easy child, he was not watching TV but was playing on his ds. Pushing boundaries, he said I never told him he could not play the ds................and I did not specify the ds, I mentioned electronics. Argggg. It was lights out time anyways, so I told him that, he shut his game off and I stayed in his room with him. He talked for a bit, asking why he had nightmares. I told him he had not had one in a while, and I told him that they scared him so much that he could not stop thinking about them, and that alone could make them happen. He thought about that one, and that one seemed to hit home with him.

He was asleep in half an hour, I snuck out of the room, and as far as I know? He slept all night.


The best part? I got to sleep in my bed.

I know he is going to ask me if I slept in his room last night, and I am going to have him tell me how he slept first. If I tell him I left after he was asleep? He will tell me he had the worst nightmares, but really? I think he was fine. I think he just needs to realize he can do this, and then? It may actually make him feel better about himself as he dealt with it and got over it. He fixed it for himself, not me.

 

[TerryJ2]

Boy, does that sound like my difficult child, pushing the envelope. "You didn't tell me ... " Grrr.
Glad you got a good night's sleep!
Best of luck with-the conversation. Bravo ... one night down, 364 to go.

 

[crazymama30]

Terry, I am really hoping that once he realizes I am not there all night and he is fine? He will do well. He has told me he does not like having me sleep in there, but that he feels like he needs me to. He is becoming more of a teen, won't let me see him in his underwear (fine by me, I really do not care), and he is extrememly modest. He will not stay in the living room without a shirt on if easy child has friends over or if the curtains are open. He sleeps in shorts, and if he comes out in the living room and the curtains are open? He closes them so people in the street cannot see him without a shirt on.

 

[DDD]

Was his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) a fully safe placement? Sometimes weird interactions take place and often after bedtime.
Could that be the source of his nightmares?

Glad you got a good night's sleep. That's worth more than gold! Hugs DDD

 

[crazymama30]

Ddd....it seemed to be a safe place , he did not share a room and the doors were locked from the outside but not the inside. I know he saw several kids getting restrained, and I know that got to him.

 

[DammitJanet]

Have you tried a fairly simple thing we used on the really younger set...nightmare away spray? Or monster away spray or boogeyman away spray?

We have done that with both the boys when they were little and then we did it with Keyana when we moved her from sleeping in our room to sleeping in her own room here at our house. She was not pleased with us that we made her leave her little toddler bed right next to us in our bedroom and put her at the other end of the house completely. I dont know why...she has a queen sized bed with her own TV! But we had to spray monster away spray that was guaranteed to give her a wonderful sleep. LOL.

All it was, was a spray bottle with water and lavender oil in it.