Coookie
Active Member
Hi Family,
Just wanted to share how things have been since difficult child came home in December.
It has been pretty good so far. He got hired at his job a month to the day that he came back and has been doing very well there. He gets up, goes to work and even if he has been out the night before he does it with very little grumbling. When we ride together he does say he wishes he didn't have to work today and I tell him "I wish I didn't have to either". Then we go on to talking about something else. He is even telling people that I am his mom around the airport. Shocked me when he first did it... thought he would not probably want that to be common knowledge.
As you know his store is right across from mine and it isn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. During the "Retail Boredom" times he will wave at me and roll his eyes and when he gets a crabby customer he will give me "the look" (when they leave) if I happen to glance over there. It is almost like we are friends with a common unspoken understanding.
We told him when he started working that we would not set a curfew for him and we haven't. The only thing we ask is that he doesn't stay out all night and he hasn't. When he does go out he takes my cell phone (he will be getting his own with his pay check) and he calls if he will be very late. He has basically set his own curfew. Even when he doesn't have to work the next day he is in the house by 2am.
As far as the verbal abuse we all remember so well from my difficult child... there has been NONE.
Oh there have been the remarks about how messy the house gets.... Well, yea.... I'm working fulltime now and there are 2 other people perfectly capable of picking things up... right? No longer a stay at home mom whose life is centered completely around the house. :crazy1: and I'm pretty wiped out when I get home so the house is not nearly as organized as it once was.
difficult child and husband have been trying to do their share.... hard to break a pattern though but I did come home from work one day and difficult child had straightened up the house which was a pleasant surprise.
I don't know if difficult child has changed or if husband and I have but I do believe that the trip to Arizona, albiet forced by husband and I, was probably one of the best things we could have done for him. He went from living in comfort to having to fend almost completely for himself. From having a home to living from motel to motel until he and his biomom (and her boyfriend) got kicked out. Not knowing where his next meal was coming from or even if he would have a roof over his head.
When he was gone I could hardly think about him without a terrible twinge in my heart so as I said in another thread, I pushed thoughts of him out of my mind... I avoided anything that would remind me of him.. I had to do that... and I immersed myself in my job.
I never thought that difficult child and I would mend our relationship. We always seemed to be adversaries but right now, at this time, we seem to be friends. I realize that this may not last, but I'm holding on to these moments with all I have.
He brings up drinking frequently but hasn't done any .. yet .. He has been to several parties where alcohol has been served but hasn't had any. We know because when he comes home he will go into the living room and sit and talk with his dad... not immediately go to his room. I really think that after we sent him to Arizona he truly believes us when we told him he would be out if there was any drinking or drug use.
I hesitate to hope that the worst is over, that my difficult child is maturing and making very good choices, but at this time he is and I will give him credit for that.
Well, sorry this is so long... wanted to share my thoughts and the happenings at the Coookie house with my freinds.
Hugs
Just wanted to share how things have been since difficult child came home in December.
It has been pretty good so far. He got hired at his job a month to the day that he came back and has been doing very well there. He gets up, goes to work and even if he has been out the night before he does it with very little grumbling.
When we ride together he does say he wishes he didn't have to work today and I tell him "I wish I didn't have to either". Then we go on to talking about something else. He is even telling people that I am his mom around the airport. Shocked me when he first did it... thought he would not probably want that to be common knowledge. As you know his store is right across from mine and it isn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. During the "Retail Boredom" times he will wave at me and roll his eyes and when he gets a crabby customer he will give me "the look" (when they leave) if I happen to glance over there. It is almost like we are friends with a common unspoken understanding.
We told him when he started working that we would not set a curfew for him and we haven't. The only thing we ask is that he doesn't stay out all night and he hasn't. When he does go out he takes my cell phone (he will be getting his own with his pay check) and he calls if he will be very late. He has basically set his own curfew. Even when he doesn't have to work the next day he is in the house by 2am.
As far as the verbal abuse we all remember so well from my difficult child... there has been NONE.
Oh there have been the remarks about how messy the house gets.... Well, yea.... I'm working fulltime now and there are 2 other people perfectly capable of picking things up... right? No longer a stay at home mom whose life is centered completely around the house. :crazy1: and I'm pretty wiped out when I get home so the house is not nearly as organized as it once was. difficult child and husband have been trying to do their share.... hard to break a pattern though
but I did come home from work one day and difficult child had straightened up the house which was a pleasant surprise. I don't know if difficult child has changed or if husband and I have but I do believe that the trip to Arizona, albiet forced by husband and I, was probably one of the best things we could have done for him. He went from living in comfort to having to fend almost completely for himself. From having a home to living from motel to motel until he and his biomom (and her boyfriend) got kicked out. Not knowing where his next meal was coming from or even if he would have a roof over his head.
When he was gone I could hardly think about him without a terrible twinge in my heart so as I said in another thread, I pushed thoughts of him out of my mind... I avoided anything that would remind me of him.. I had to do that... and I immersed myself in my job.
I never thought that difficult child and I would mend our relationship. We always seemed to be adversaries but right now, at this time, we seem to be friends. I realize that this may not last, but I'm holding on to these moments with all I have.
He brings up drinking frequently but hasn't done any .. yet .. He has been to several parties where alcohol has been served but hasn't had any. We know because when he comes home he will go into the living room and sit and talk with his dad... not immediately go to his room. I really think that after we sent him to Arizona he truly believes us when we told him he would be out if there was any drinking or drug use.
I hesitate to hope that the worst is over, that my difficult child is maturing and making very good choices, but at this time he is and I will give him credit for that.
Well, sorry this is so long... wanted to share my thoughts and the happenings at the Coookie house with my freinds.
Hugs
That is something that would have never come out of his mouth before.
But I have also seen how they can be.
And about dang time! 
