One week out update

[rejectedmom]

difficult child has been out a week today. He still isn't on medcation they could not get him a regular doctor's visit until October 4. and he isn't set up for a Physciatrist until the end of October. He is doing Ok as far as I am told but he had a very bad day on tuesday. His case worker said that she was able to talk things out with difficult child and he seemed better afterwards but didn't go into specifics. I still get a queazy stomach when I think about the situation. I try to stay detached but it is hard. I find that I have alot of anger just below the surface. It is not toward my difficult child but rather toward the impersonal system that seems to only set him up for failure. Here he has the best insurance available and he still cannot get a timely psychiatrist appointment. He has to wait 6 weeks with no medications and if he has an episode he will be sent back to jail. How sick is that? How is a parent supposed to stay detached when their difficult child is willing to be compliant but the system is so sluggish he might well be doomed before he gets what he needs? It makes me so angry! The system has failed my difficult child all his life. don't get me wrong he got services but they were inadequate. He had a psychiatrist but he couldn't see past the adoption to consider other diagnosis's. And that was with me fighting every inch of the way to get difficult child what he needed.... ARGH! Going to go say the Serenity prayer again. RM

 

[WhymeMom?]

I hear yah with the frustration from trying to get help within the system. My son tried to get help on his own, meaning no $$$ were being spent (as he could not afford the care), and all they wanted to do was put him in a group discussion session. (Which only turns into I can gripe louder than you can.) He tried to go to a private psychiatric, but just the testing was $800. No wonder kids don't want to be put on medications or jump thru hoops....

My son is headed back to prison in Oct. and I'm sure nothing will be done for his mental health situation. Probation is pretty much a joke, my son usually ended up violating and went back to prison. This last time they have it figured out that he will just serve his time and no Parole. I didn't think it was possible, but he apparently has a good attorney.....

 

[DammitJanet]

That is absurd RM...6 weeks? Well I understand it actually. Same thing happened here when Cory took the pills and ended up inpatient for 24 hours. They let him loose with no medications and just an appointment for a referral to see the psychiatrist place. Not the psychiatrist! He is still unmedicated and that was in July. Of part of that is that he spent a month in jail most likely.

I hope your son is able to hold it together until he can get in. Sigh.

 

[Sunlight]

I am glad your son can brethe the fresh air and see the sky, smell things other than sweat and eat some regular food. I hope someone sees the situation as ridiculous and steps in. God please help him be calm til he gets help.

 

[scent of cedar]

I didn't have time this morning to do more than have a quick glance at your post, RM.

I will read it more closely this evening if I can.

Know that I am saying the Serenity Prayer with and for you, today.

Barbara

 

[lovemysons]

I can sure understand your aggravation at this situation. Hope difficult child can keep it together til the medications come through.

hugs,
Tammy

 

[rejectedmom]

WMM, My difficult child has a few months of parole and then goes on probation. Without alot of help and spport he will not be able to stay out of trouble.

This all just STINKS! I am glad your difficult child got no parole. I think that without it our difficult child's at least have a chance of getting on the right track. Everyone slips from tie to time and these kids slip frequently. Probation and parole doesn't allow for them to make a mistake and then get right back on track. It is if you slip then slam bang you're back in jail.

DJ, yep then you know my frustration. Talk about setting someone up for failure. UG!

Janet, Thank you for the prayers, that is about all we can do at this point.

Barbara, I look foward to your insight. -RM

 

[Sunlight]

Probation and parole doesn't allow for them to make a mistake and then get right back on track. It is if you slip then slam bang you're back in jail.


well said. sigh

 

[KFld]

6 weeks with no medications. and they expect him to not get into any kind of trouble. That is definitley setting him up for failure.

Don't know what else to say here, but I'll say the serenity prayer along with you.

 

[lovemysons]

I agree with you and antsmom.
This is what my oldest difficult child is facing too.
He is in a halfway house for now but the probation, restitution, fines, etc. will begin to be imposed in Nov when he gets out of the halfway house situation.
He can't make even a SINGLE mistake...slip, or it can mean many years in prison. He has been incarcerated by some means for a total of 2 1/2 years out of the past 6.

Watching these "kids" go through adult life like this is agonyzing. Watching, wondering, waiting, hoping, etc...
Tammy

 

[scent of cedar]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rejectedmom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

He still isn't on medcation

he isn't set up for a Physciatrist until the end of October.

I try to stay detached but it is hard.

I find that I have alot of anger just below the surface.

</div></div>

RM, I know everyone is going to say we aren't supposed to interfere, but have you already tried to up the appointment date?

Or is that out of your hands.

If it is, if you made the phone calls, if you took every action you could know to do, then your job at this time is to survive.

You just had surgery yourself, not so long ago.

You don't have a choice about detaching.

You HAVE to practice detaching.

Or you may not be here, or be able to help your son, when there IS something you can do.

There have been times, when the feelings were overwhelming, that I screamed into and pounded a pillow until I could unnumb long enough to cry and rage about our situation. (Wouldn't want the neighbors to hear ~ Lord knows, they knew enough about us, already! :blush:)

You have to take yourself in hand now, RM.

You know what you need to do.

Do it.

Get it out on canvas ~ are you able to paint again, yet?

Mark the time and do what you can and focus on healthy choice.

Can you choose and send difficult child a card of encouragement?

Don't let on to him that you think what is happening is unfair. Keep working toward trying to move those appointments up, but if that doesn't happen, then difficult child is going to have to deal with whatever comes next.

For better or for worse, you cannot do this part for him.

But you DO want to be there, healthy and in one piece, when all this is resolved.

I am so sorry, RM.

You must feel like you are living in Hell.

Barbara

 

[DDD]

RM, I just discovered that I evidently "lost" a long response
when I thought I sent it yesterday. Bottom line of the lengthly
response was...I care....and I, sadly, understand. Hugs. DDD

 

[SunnyFlorida]

This is a multifaced problem RM. We know the system doesn't always work the way we feel it should...but what about the medications.

If he's got insurance, is there a hospital near you or actually, the closest hospital that has a psychiatric ward. I wonder if your difficult child goes through the ER, he can't be turned away. He's a documented diagnosis person who has no medications. You might be able to request the psychiatrist on call be called to do an assessment and start back on medications. I wouldn't do it over the weekend, but during the week. Or, what if you showed up on the community mental health doorstep and waited to be seen for an appointment. The last thing anyone wants is for someone to be without medications.

It would seem to me if you have records, you have an appointment, all you are lacking is something in between.

Sending some cyber support for this crazy situation.

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks all, I will see what I can do about getting difficult child an app't sooner. We didn't wan thim to come all the way down by me as he would not have access to his doctor if he didn't have trransportation. There were only two doctors in his area that were in our provider network but I will see if I can get him in with someone not in our network. He willb e switched over to medicaid in may anyway so... RM

 

[Hound dog]

I understand your frustration. That's a long time with no medications while trying to tow the line so as not to wind up back in jail.

I'd try to up the appointment date too. Maybe if you let them know he's without medications they can at least call you if they have a cancellation.

If he gets desperate, I was thinking along the same lines as Sunny. With the good insur. if he goes to an ER, the doctor there might write him the medication scripts just enough to hold him til he gets to his appoint.

Keeping body parts crossed he can hold it together.

((hugs))

 

[witzend]

It's very frustrating that the right hand doesn't seem to know what the left hand is doing in this situation. It must be very difficult to know what the right thing for you to do is. I hope he will either find something sooner than 6 weeks, and/or that he can hold out that long. (You too!)

 

[rejectedmom]

difficult child called today. He has a PT job and an interview for a second tomorrow. Both are through the program he is in. He says that even though the house he lives n is no where near as nice as the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Georgia he like it much better. he says he is treated better and with more compassion and that he has a little freedom which shows respect for him. He seems to be doing pretty good I am hoping it isn't just the honeymoom thing. -RM

 

[Marcie Mac]

I hear you on the medications issue RM - the system needs to be overhauled - cannot tell you the number of times I had gone back to court to get them to order that Dan be given his medication most times to no avail.

Will keep my fingers crossed for your boy that he is able to maintain..

Marcie