opinions on boyfriend/girlfriend sleepovers at your house
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HereWeGoAgain
Grandpa
wife and I never allowed sleepovers. difficult child always respected us in this - never did drugs or had sex in our home, even before easy child 1 was born - it all happened elsewhere. Even last year, at 30, she didn't have her boyfriends spend the night at our house, except on a very few occasions (e.g., boyfriend's car wouldn't start) - on those occasions, boyfriend got a cot in the laundry room or the couch.
We would let easy child son and daughter in law sleep together in our house, since they are married - but they don't! It's moot now since they have their own house across town to go to, but back when we were in IL and they came to visit they got a motel or easy child son slept on the couch. One time when they were still boyfriend/girlfriend and she stayed over, wife caught him trying to sneak in to the guest bedroom - he was absolutely mortified - still turns bright red if it's brought up.
As for 17 year old boy and 25 year old woman - that is quite an age gap in my opinion. If it was say 27 and 35 that would be different, but a 17 yo boy is still a kid in many ways. I don't think it's a problem that she is a teacher, as long as she is not his teacher or in his school.
We would let easy child son and daughter in law sleep together in our house, since they are married - but they don't! It's moot now since they have their own house across town to go to, but back when we were in IL and they came to visit they got a motel or easy child son slept on the couch. One time when they were still boyfriend/girlfriend and she stayed over, wife caught him trying to sneak in to the guest bedroom - he was absolutely mortified - still turns bright red if it's brought up.
As for 17 year old boy and 25 year old woman - that is quite an age gap in my opinion. If it was say 27 and 35 that would be different, but a 17 yo boy is still a kid in many ways. I don't think it's a problem that she is a teacher, as long as she is not his teacher or in his school.
I think this is wrong on many levels.
I never allowed my easy child or difficult child to have sleepover with anyone of the opposite sex nor have then in their bedroom with or without the door open. Once difficult child invited some guy to her bedroom to play xbox and I told him to leave, when he didn't he got an earful from husband when he got home shortly after.
It's my home and there is a level of respect I expect to be shown. When they have their own places they can have whoever they want in their rooms.
Nancy
I never allowed my easy child or difficult child to have sleepover with anyone of the opposite sex nor have then in their bedroom with or without the door open. Once difficult child invited some guy to her bedroom to play xbox and I told him to leave, when he didn't he got an earful from husband when he got home shortly after.
It's my home and there is a level of respect I expect to be shown. When they have their own places they can have whoever they want in their rooms.
Nancy
elizabrary
Well-Known Member
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
DDD has a very good point about being careful how you handle this since your son is very sensitive. Tony's (my SO), first experience was with this older woman who lived in his neighborhood when he was a teen. Probably around 15 or so. This woman had a thing for all the young teen boys. She introduced every one of them she could get her hands on to the joys of sex, including all of Tony's brothers except the youngest one who ended up moving away before he was old enough. From what I have been told by SEVERAL people years later, Tony was so upset when she tossed him aside for the next boy in line, he actually laid in the road hoping a car would come and run over him. Now there wasnt a real good chance of that since they lived in the mountains of SC on a small back road and his brothers dragged him out of the road pretty quickly but he was upset. He denies it now but I tend to believe them. He has always been sensitive too.
Janet, that's what I'm afraid of, that she'll break his heart and he'll get too upset. I did have a talk with him and he kept saying nothing was going on in the room. He's totally lying, please, she drove 2/12 hours one way to see him and then they came back extra early when they knew nobody would be home.
I'll never let her upstairs in my house again. And she's not driving difficult child anywhere either. She knows she's creepy that's why she ran out the door when husband began talking to easy child on the phone. husband's only beef is that he didn't have protection. There are so many girls at school his own age.....
I'll never let her upstairs in my house again. And she's not driving difficult child anywhere either. She knows she's creepy that's why she ran out the door when husband began talking to easy child on the phone. husband's only beef is that he didn't have protection. There are so many girls at school his own age.....
donna723
Well-Known Member
That woman is more than a little creepy and it looks like she is persuing him!
I don't think men look at things like that the same way that women do. There have been cases in the local news very much like that, a female teacher having a sexual relationship with young male students, and in all cases, SHE was the one that was the aggressor, coming on to the boys. When the cases went to trial, the stories were carried in the newspaper and the responses in the reader's forums on the newspapers' website were just unbelievable! Most of the responses from the men were along the lines of, "Way to go, kid!", or "I wish they had teachers like that when I was in school"! Of course, this wasn't THEIR son! These same men, if it had been an older male teacher and a female student, would probably have been yelling, "String him up!" The responses from the women readers was completely different. Most were agast and horrified and saw it for what it really was - an older person in a position of authority who was taking advantage of a young student with no thought for the affect it was having on the child!
I have both a son and a daughter. And, when they were in high school, I would have been equally outraged to find out that a female teacher was having a relationship with my son as I would have been to find out that my daughter was involved with a male teacher. There is no difference, and both are illegal!
I don't think men look at things like that the same way that women do. There have been cases in the local news very much like that, a female teacher having a sexual relationship with young male students, and in all cases, SHE was the one that was the aggressor, coming on to the boys. When the cases went to trial, the stories were carried in the newspaper and the responses in the reader's forums on the newspapers' website were just unbelievable! Most of the responses from the men were along the lines of, "Way to go, kid!", or "I wish they had teachers like that when I was in school"! Of course, this wasn't THEIR son! These same men, if it had been an older male teacher and a female student, would probably have been yelling, "String him up!" The responses from the women readers was completely different. Most were agast and horrified and saw it for what it really was - an older person in a position of authority who was taking advantage of a young student with no thought for the affect it was having on the child!
I have both a son and a daughter. And, when they were in high school, I would have been equally outraged to find out that a female teacher was having a relationship with my son as I would have been to find out that my daughter was involved with a male teacher. There is no difference, and both are illegal!
