PLEASE hear me out! my five year olds' behavior!!!

[BusynMember]

On the subject of the family, if your family is making you feel uncomfortable and inept in my opinion it's time to back away. You don't need to talk to them that much or to allow them to discuss your child with you. I used to say "The topic of XXX is off limits. If you keep talking about him, I will say good-bye and quietly hang up the phone." And I did it. It worked too, but I've never been afraid of whether or not my dysfunctional family liked me or not...lol. Like they had done such a great job raising their own kids!!!

Sometimes you have to discontinue contact for long or short periods of time. Nobody should be allowed to destroy your self-esteem or belittle your way of raising your child. If anyone does, that is abuse. Don't allow it even if that means a long "time out" from Mom or Aunt Sally. (((Hugs)))

 

[BusynMember]

When I see people smack their child and say " we don't hit." I so badly want to say obviously WE do, as I just saw you both hit. But that would be overstepping. It just strikes me as weird. Don't let your sister in law get to you either. You kids didn't know her rules. How could they?

Choledancer, AMEN!!!!!!!!!

I'm also a slight threat to hitters. I would never report a tap on the butt to a diapered toddler. But If somebody slaps the child across the face, expect me to pull out my cell phone and call social services. Of course, most hitters do it at home.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im not going to tell you to spank your child. I do live in the south where spanking is as common as sweet tea. In fact, unless the rules have changed in the last few years, the schools are still using corporal punishment. Spanking, not beating. There is a huge difference. We have even had cops watch us tear Cory's rear up. Granted his sorely deserved it. He would have been arrested that day but the cops were convinced we would have punished him far more severely than the Department of Juvenile Justice folks would. The cops laughed all the way to their cars...lol.

Spanking never hurt my son and I believe in them in certain situations. I dont think they are the first choice. I think it depends on the child too. I never had to spank my older son but maybe 2 or 3 times. The younger two got it more times but Cory got it the most. My oldest granddaughter has probably been spanked just a few times for things such as heading for a hot stove, deliberately throwing sand after being told no several times, climbing out of her car seat, and I think that is it. I have spanked Hailie about 3 times but wanted to so many more times but her mother is so wishy washy it does no good. Lord knows how McKenzie will end up...lol. She is only 10 months.

 

[Ktllc]

I have spanked my kids on occasions, but I don't believe it should be used as the only way to discipline. I see it as one extra tool to use with caution and good judgement.
And yes, I am one of those parents who has spanked (on their bottoms) because they had hit or kick. Usually I say some like that "see, that hurt. You did not like Mommy hitting you. Then don't hit". Is it basic psychology... maybe. But it has worked.
The main thing: you have to be confortable with YOUR methods.