Qanon, Plandemic and Kay's Lack of Reality

[BusynMember1]

Hi all. I miss you all so much. I read but don't usually have much to post, but now I do. So here I go.

The two cousins who still see Kay's social media contact us, against our desires, because they are so alarmed at how Kay has freaked out over every insane conspiracy theory and anti-vaccination theory there is. That is all she posts about. Crazily so. Obsessively so. In almost terror, they say.

Apparently she thinks the election was rigged, famous people are pedophiles and lizard people walk the earth. Also Corona was man made and spread to keep us in our homes so that mysterious feds can legally break down doors and force everyone to be vaccinated and vaccines will kill us. Also there will be a GPS chip in you once you get forcefully vaccinated. My mind is numb. I just heard this yesterday.

Now Kay has been posting hysterically and irrationally especially since the vaccines hit the news. "Over the edge" the cousin told me. I am sick and scared but I won't reach out. I can't calm her down. I didn't even know this stuff was out there, except the election, let alone could I ever know what to say to calm her down and try to bring her back to reality. She sounds psychotic to me.

Could she have lost her mind?

I hate to be rude to these cousins but I don't want to hear anymore. My husband is going to talk to them. Firmer this time. Kay's new urgent anxiety about this unreality worry us that she and Lee are taking harder drugs now. More than pot. And there is nothing we can do. Nothing. These kids are heartbreaking, aren't they?

On a better note, the rest of the family is good. Jaden is having home services for autism and is improving. How ironic that Kay thinks vaccines cause autism. But Jaden was never vaccinated and Jaden has a moderate type of autism, which we have long suspected. He can still barely speak and stims a lot. But he really is much more alert. And much happier.

I hope everyone had a great holiday. Love and.blessings to all of you. Stay well.





A

 

[LauraH]

Hey, I guess we're making an appearance at the same time! I read news posts on Facebook about the election and COVID and you would be surprised the number of theories lurking out there. Without knowing you or Kay I don't think I would say she has lost her mind. I know some otherwise very intelligent and rational people who are buying into these conspiracy theories. It is frightening to hear some of them. I gave up trying to argue with them, though. It's pointless. I can't remember, does Kay abuse drugs? I know when my son was on meth he had the wildest psychotic delusions that everyone, including my husband and me, were spying on him and in cahoots with the feds to bring him down for something I wasn't clear about that he was framed for. (

Are holidays and other special occasions hard for Kay? I think that's a common thread too, and I know that's the case with my son. But I wouldn't stress about her conspiracy theory beliefs. Either she will realize one day that they were malarkey or she will continue believing them (I know someone who swears that Obama got Biden elected so he could get back to the business of seizing everyone's guns...) But nothing you can do or say will change her mind if that's what she wants to believe. I would just not engage in conversation about that, and let her ramble as long as she's not a physical danger to herself or anyone else.

 

[MissLulu]

Oh Busy, I’m sorry this is happening. I think you are right to have your husband talk to the cousins. I do better too when I know/hear less. It’s relentless dealing with these kids of ours.

I’m pleased to hear Jaden’s doing well.

 

[RN0441]

Hi Busy

I also have heard crazy things too from people who are very intelligent.

My friend who has her Master's Degree and her own business as a speech therapist working with children is against vaccinations also. I do not even discuss it with her. She also thinks it causes autism. She is also on board with many theories that sound crazy but again, I let her think what she wants.

In the end, we are all entitled to our own opinion and that's all it is anyway, an opinion.

Is it possible for you to unfriend your cousins on Facebook? I'm not sure if they called to tell you things about your daughter or messaged you. I don't know why they would bother you when they know you don't want to hear it.

So glad your grandson is doing well!

Husband and I recovering from Covid. Hard to believe that what we had (mild case for us) causes all of this hysteria. WOW.

 

[LauraH]

I went to a make-shift Nar-Anon meeting (our regular meetings are suspended indefinitely because of COVID). It was me, two couples, and another lady on her own. One of the women started spouting off all the Bill Gates microchip vaccine stuff, kept talking about "Whack job Democrats", be ready for civil war and head for the hills to hide if Biden wins, etc., I didn't bother telling her that I was a "whack job Democrat" and sat in stunned silence. Nar-Anon is the least appropriate place to talk about politics of any variety, except maybe a bar. We are supposed to support each other through our loved ones' addiction and recovery and politics is about as divisive as it gets. I staid through the rest of the meeting but I won't be going back until regular meetings have resumed. Even if I was a Trump supporter I don't think a support group meeting is the right place to bring any of that up, period.

 

[Barbaro]

Can you talk to your cousins about not filling you in on Kay's posts? Why are they doing this?

 

[Nandina]

With all due respect Barbaro, please refrain from such divisive rhetoric. Our country is already divided enough—we don’t need anymore divisiveness, especially not on this forum, where we all practice loving one another and being supportive. I actually think this place is supposed to be a politics-free zone. Thank you

 

[BusynMember1]

Thank you, all.

Barbaro....please stop. I'm not interested.

Anyway, the cousins are honestly concerned about Kay because she is amping up her normal craziness and sounds terrified. So they called us, the parents. As if we haven't done all we can. And they fast talked what they wanted us to hear before we could tell them to stop and that we are disconnecting their call. They live together so made a joint call. I know they mean well but we tried so hard to help Kay and nothing worked. We can't help now either.

Kay smokes pot daily and heavily. Lee too. Both had taken harder drugs at one time. They may be doing harder drugs again. As of.now Kay had driven off with Lee, homeless and jobless, and currently lives in an old motorhome.in Arizona. She left her son Jaden with Amy and Amy is in court trying to get custody and wants to be able to vaccinate Jaden. He has NO vaccines. Kay will have to come back here for court or lose custody. Maybe this has her stressed but she never even calls to see how Jaden is doing nor does Lee. Amy is such a good mother, I want her to get custody. Autistic kids need extra care and Amy and her kids love him so much. Me too!

Kay has always been a dupe for conspiracy stuff but she never freaked out like she is now. And Lizard people???? This makes me start shaking. I don't care if other people are buying into crazy things. This is my daughter. It has has me in tears a lot. I have often wondered if she has some psychosis. Meth use? Who knows.

My husband told both cousins not to tell us about Amy again and they called us horrible parents. That broke me. I couldn't stop the tears We blocked them. Period.

Nar Anon now. We do virtual meetings due to Covid-19. If anyone started spouting that Qanon and anti Democrat stuff at a meeting, I know they'd be shut down fast. If not I'd leave and find a meeting where rules are enforced. We are supposed to stick to Nar Anon and we do. I am sorry you had to go through that. That person has no idea of what Nar Anon is for. It's for hurting parents to get our lives back through the 12 Step program.

RN, I am glad glad glad you had mild COVID. I know many who almost died and were in the hospital. Remember that our own Crayola lost her dear mother to COVID. I know others who lost family. Sadly, not everyone is lucky but I'm glad you were. Of course I also know those who had mild cases. With the vaccine here soon, we are going to try to avoid it and hopefully life can go back to normal soon. Prayers to you and hub and the rest of your family

In conclusion, hub and I are no longer going to listen to the cousins. We pray that Kay is not really mentally breaking down or on meth but if she is either, she knows to go to a hospital or rehab and at least Lee is with her, as useless as he is. I did hear that he is still delivering pizza so some money is coming in. Kay won't work.....still. Now she is so scared of the Feds she rarely leaves her hot mobile home. I feel so badly but I need to let it go. I am giving her to God again. He can handle it. We can't. We just can't. And we don't want to know.

Thanks again to all. This really shocked me. I guess I was more shocked than other people. Anyhow we are relaxing today. We may go back to work at our business once we both get the COVID vaccine. Love and prayers to all.

 

[newstart]

BusyNMember, I am connected to my daughter on Facebook, off and on so I see some of her posts and like your Kay she posts very similar things. I get calls from my daughters friends telling me how worried they are for her and the stuff she posts. I can tell when my daughter is slipping into a major mania because she goes off the top with anti vaccines, every single time I talk with her, it is the first thing she says, 'I will not ever be vaccinated. I remind her that she has been vaccinated since she was 2 months old plus all the shots she got while she was in school.
Because I am connected on FB to my daughter I do not get so freaked out when people call me very concerned about my daughter's mental health. I read the stuff, wish she would not post such things that could ruin her career. I see lots of weird posts from people of all ages, walks of life. I wonder if the things I post are weird, most all things that I post are art or family related, it might be weird to some people.
I think people call me because they are afraid for my daughter's life and mental health. They do not know what else to do or who else to talk to. Like you, I cannot do anything else, or more to help her. I have had some of her friends say they want to do an intervention. I have to remind them that we have done all we can and anything else will have to come from within her. When I talk to my daughter's friends that are so concerned I get a lot of information about my daughter that I did not know and if she is admitted to a psychiatric ward I can fill in the Dr with more information and specifics.
There are times I just don't want to know or hear but for me the not knowing is harder.
This is such a tight rope. I am sorry for your heartache.

 

[LauraH]

With all due respect Barbaro, please refrain from such divisive rhetoric. Our country is already divided enough—we don’t need anymore divisiveness, especially not on this forum, where we all practice loving one another and being supportive. I actually think this place is supposed to be a politics-free zone. Thank you

Thank you. I was hesitant to jump in and say anything but actually looked at the forum's TOS to see if this was addressed specifically. I didn't see anything in particular so I held my peace. But just like at the Nar Anon meeting where a woman started ranting about politics, this is not the place in my humble opinion for any politics. We are here to support each other and build each other up, not tear each other down with divisive rhetoric, left or right.

 

[LauraH]

Nar Anon now. We do virtual meetings due to Covid-19. If anyone started spouting that Qanon and anti Democrat stuff at a meeting, I know they'd be shut down fast. If not I'd leave and find a meeting where rules are enforced.

Is your virtual meeting local? I couldn't find anything local to me on the Nar Anon site although I saw some that were non-geographical. Rest assured, if she had pulled that at our regular meeting the leader would have shut her down, kindly but firmly, before she went too far. I did email the leader of the regular group but since we are not currently meeting there isn't much she can do. I'll have to look again to see if I can find a virtual meeting that's local or regional...or even with people from all over.

 

[Nandina]

Hi Laura, I think one of the moderators, maybe Runaway Bunny, mentioned at one time that we try to stay away from politics on this site. I hope someone will jump in if they know for sure. I’ve always looked at politics as sort of a personal matter, between me and the voting lever. I don’t need or want to know what someone’s political beliefs are. We can have so much in common and not even have to go there! The current state of this country and the divisions between people based on their political beliefs saddens me greatly. There is so much more that unites us as Americans. (Don’t mean to hijack your thread, Busy. )

 

[LauraH]

We can have so much in common and not even have to go there!

That's exactly my feelings as well. We can have 99 things in common and if you let the 1 (politics) end a relationship, that's just sad. I too am interested to hear from a moderator on the policy of politics. The closest I could find in the TOS was personal attacks, which that post wasn't. I nearly came back with a retort but I didn't want to add fuel to the fire so I said nothing. But it makes perfect sense in any group, be it a support group or an interest group, that consists of people from all sides of politics and all faiths that those topics should be avoided for the sake of harmony in the group.

 

[BusynMember1]

I am not talking about politics. I am talking about my daughter's mental health. I had no idea these ideas were politics. She is talking about things that are not real and will never happen and I know that schizophrenics get paranoid. They are obsessed with the Feds and thinking they can be heard by special devices in televisions and radios. They see, hear and think things that are not real and this stuff plus her terror of the Feds busting her door down to vaccinate her sounds as if she may have some sort of serious psychiatric disorder. Plus she will not leave her motorhome. She has always been paranoid. It is really accelerating. Lizard people? How is this political? It's mental illness. I am terrified for her and came here for help and got help.

Although I have seen various posters say we can't talk politics and I rarely do even in real life (rarely even watch the news), this is about my daughter. It is not a political discussion. I am glad I posted it. Runaway Bunny herself has never said we can't discuss politics. I just don't talk about it and did not here.

Kay is truly losing it. I wonder if she will want us to drop everything and visit if she ends up in a psychiatric hospital. She only has Medicaid so I'm not sure they would even take her.

We will not go. We did not tell her to drive to the other side of the country. She is West and we are East. Her choice.

I am drained from this but we took a chilly walk on a path by the beach tonight, held hands, then watched some Netflix. I feel calmer now. Thanks again.

 

[LauraH]

I am not talking about politics

You weren't, but unfortunately Barbaro tried to go there. I am glad you had a nice evening. I know that had to have helped immensely. If I recall, you're in Florida? I wanted to walk to the beach this morning to see the sunrise but I just couldn't bring myself to brave the cold. I am not a cold weather person, although I have to admit it's nice huddled around the space heater watching TV with my husband. Makes me feel kind of insulated from the rest of the world. Hope it does the same for you. Be strong and know that we are here for you.

 

[Crayola13]

Copabanana has posted about the lizard people and told her son the subject is off limits. Apparently, there are those who believe the world is secretly controlled by the reptilian conspiracy.

I'm sorry about everything going on with your daughter. The COVID is definitely making her condition worse.

 

[LauraH]

She only has Medicaid so I'm not sure they would even take her.

In my community I see people all the time who look like they need to be institutionalized but are not unless they pose a physical threat to themselves or someone else. Just this evening I walked by a lady at a bus stop carrying on a conversation, only there was no one else anywhere near her.

 

[Nomad]

I recognize your daughter seems to have some problems coping with reality. If you can not hear about her posts...probably wise. I ve had to do that with certain relatives. It’s been helpful for me.

As a side note...sometimes there is some truth in what seems like an outrageous claim.
Like the earth is not flat. (How silly...if it were round we would fall off!!!)
My most hard hitting / interesting example is the story of Dr Semmelweis. The story of this man always reminds me to try to keep an open mind.
This doctor observed that when interns would perform an autopsy and then immediately deliver babies, those babies would often die. Sometimes the mother’s too. His solution...the medical interns should clean their hands in a solution before delivering babies. This claim at the time was thought to be completely outrageous and utter lunacy. He was reprimanded. He insisted that he was sure he was correct. There were less fatalities if the doctors simply had clean hands prior to delivering babies. He was deemed CRAZY and put into an insane asylum, where he was ignored and neglected and he died. Many years later, of course, even children know he was totally correct.

Ignaz Semmelweis - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

PS I think we need to be careful on this thread...avoiding political discussion is best.

 

[Copabanana]

I have reported to an admin the post above that some are finding upsetting. I experience it as upsetting too. But I don't think it's our job to have to protect this space although I think it's our job to speak up. I am so glad that you all have.

My son has moved on from the reptiles but he is still awaiting apocalyptic events. Less now than before.

I think there is another way to view Kay's state of mind. Might she just be thrilled that her beliefs have become a mainstream topic? Could she be in her element and jazzed up and tremendously excited? Many, many people now are caught up in these beliefs. I would never have believed it. The Q business has gone mainstream.

I worried about psychosis with my son. He always reassured me, "Mom. I'm just highly neurotic, not psychotic." Oh. OK.

I heard on the news today that in Florida the police banged down doors with guns drawn where there were small children present because an ex-employee was suspected of sending an email asking for the government to be more pro-active about Covid. This is to say that we live in highly polarized times.

Busy, just like with my son, Kay's only outlet and only interest are her wild ideas. They have no other interests and nothing else in their lives about which to speak. Of course, she may be mentally ill, and the crisis-ridden times are only exacerbating this. These statements she's making seem like paranoia, to us. But the thing is, it seems that millions and millions of people throughout the country are believing these things. It's become shared-paranoia. I share the concern of the government officials who are pleading for moderation so that this does not lead to violence. People don't seem to be listening. I've never seen anything like this.

All the more important that this forum stays sane without contention.

Bottom-line. What can you do? You did the most important thing you could do. You protected Jaden.

RN. I am so sorry you and your husband became ill. So relieved it was a mild case because it's not mild for all.

 

[Crayola13]

I can see how these times can make a person's illness worse. They cannot be convinced. I'm just glad Jayden is getting therapy and a proper education. Last you mentioned, he was interacting well with other children and seemed to enjoy playing with kids his age. I was very thankful to hear that.