These feelings you are feeling are normal. Remember, you have thought about this long and hard. Plus, you sought the advice of a professional to double check yourself. I do believe you have done an excellent job in this very difficult situation. Sure, it tugs at your heart to watch your SS move out and also to know that your husband struggles with it all. But hold fast to what you know to be true. Stay the course and continue to talk with- your spouse and to get professional input. Keep your eye on the prize. What are your goals? To have a healthy marriage, to care for your younger son, to build a nest egg, to help your older son mature...etc. You have good reasons for this difficult decision. It is hard for your SS, but that is okay. He will figure it all out. He is not with-o resources. If you are willing and able and it is appropriate, you might consider offering him (or continuing to offer him) certain services like medical and/or psychological care for a period of time. I agree, let him know that you are proud of him and confident that he will do a good job on his own. But he will go no where sitting in your basement and it hasn't seem to be a good thing for you either. Again, keep your eye on the prize, continue to seek input from the professionals, and understand that these 'pangs' of discomfort you are feeling are normal and temporary. Nurture yourself and your relationship with your husband. Hang in there.
