Question to the group....

[DDD]

Personally, I wouldn't take the responsibility of Weedette.
Period. Flat out. Nope. They can spend whatever time they want
to together BUT I would not take an underage girl on a trip to
anywhere unless her Mom or Dad went along too. Geez, there are
way too many truly scarey things that happen to young girls in
2007 even when they live at home. A sweet young thing staying
in a room alone at the Hardrock?????????? Over my dead body!
DDD

 

[Mikey]

Well, looks like this is going to happen, but not the way I thought. After a little more "talking" to both Sarge and McWeedy, It's just going to be me and the weedwacker going.
Sarge is staying home.

That seems yucky, but it's not. Sarge is worried about missing work, and his girlfriend is having her birthday on the 3rd, and he's already taking several weeks to go on a long trip to Asia. On top of that he doesn't really like crowds, so the idea of Orlando on the 4th didn't really do it for him. I badgered him a bit, though, because wanted to make sure he knew that I wanted him to go, and that there wasn't some other reason he didn't want to go. But really, that's all it was.

McWeedy, on the other hand, finally said last night "I'd really like to stay at the Hard Rock and go see Blue Man Group". So I went ahead and booked the vacation for the two of us. Today, when I called him to tell him about the specifics, he was VERY EXCITED! Told his friends that "just me and my Dad were going to spend the 4th in Orlando.....". He was really stoked, which surprised me.

So in the end, I didn't get what I really wanted (both sons with me on a "guys" vacation), but I get to go see my favorite group, get to spend some quality time with my son, and Sarge gets a week of "alone time", which he seems to like (still wonder if he's a touch "aspie"). I'll make it up to him in other ways, though, and will still find a way to get him out (maybe use the money I'm saving from him for a rafting trip in Colorado?)

So, hopefully, it'll all work out. Now if I can just get through the next week while wife and Dancer are gone without finding some reason to bang on McWeedy, wife's "vacation" won't be so bad for the rest of us.

Wish me luck, everyone. And thanks for all the suggestions and advice.

Mikey

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Mikey.

This could be the best thing you two have ever done. Huge prayers. I am so excited for you guys!

 

[busywend]

Wow! That is wonderful news! As for the next week - lay low. If this were my difficult child the anxiety about the trip would have us both uptight by the time we left for it and that just ruins the vacation, in my humble opinion.
So, if you see him starting something destructive try to figure he is getting anxious about it and stay calm and focused on the vacation.

 

[WNC Gal]

I think I would insist on going! We went on a trip to Universal Studios with the kids just a few weeks after my daughter was released from the hospital - we were nervous about it, but I think it was big, safe fun and a much needed break from home.

We did have a strategy family session with her therapist to work out some ground rules about what she could do if she felt she needed space, etc. And limitations on being allowed to roam about freely.

But staying at a Universal hotel and going to the parks is really quite fun..... your hotel room key (from Universal hotels only) serves as an unlimited Express Pass which is fabulous. And you can easily pop between parks and hotel pools via the water ferry. We kept expenses pretty low by eating a generous breakfast at the hotel, and then purchasing all you can eat wrist bands at the theme parks so everyone could eat whenever they wished (and not need to carry cash).

We even allowed our oldest to split off and do some rides on her own while carrying a cell phone.

It all depends on how much you will resent NOT going and depriving Sarge of going too.

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, Mikey, I hear you.
I think part of the girlfriend thing is typical teenager stuff. They are going to be miserable on a vacation with-their parents no matter what (or at least THINK they MIGHT be). I hope McWeedy makes the "right" decision. I've got my fingers crossed.

 

[Kjs]

Sounds so exciting. Hope all goes as well as you wish. It will be great memories.

 

[DammitJanet]

How great for you and the Weedster! Can you swing thru NC and pick me up?

Lets take the magic bus and all of us will go with you...lol.

 

[nvts]

This sounds great! I'm rooting for you! Oh and by the way, I don't think that you're going to owe Sarge...a week off from the chaos that McWeedy hands out might be the best vay-cay for him. Leave a few dollarinies for him to take the girlfriend out for a fancy b-day dinner and you're the top banana for a long time to come!

Have a great time!

 

[1905]

Ok,I'm taking mine to the beach tomorrow- I'll let you know if it's worth it to drag them somewhere they'll have fun. Brats!!! How could they not have fun at the beach? The girls? the boardwalk? -we'll see, Alyssa

 

[CAmom]

Another thing---I think, at least in our case, had we lowered our expectations a bit, we all might have had more fun on the trips we actually took together. I remember one 4th of July in particular when our son really wanted to stay home and hang out at the beach with his friends to "watch the fireworks"--translate--share beers and smokes under the pier, probably.

He did go with us to a fabulous RV resort where there were many, many kids his age and planned activities going on. He chose to spend the entire time in our motor home playing video games alone.

Even when the quite impressive fireworks display began, he refused, very politely, and continued to play his video games and watch movies. Of course, we were very disappointed, thinking back to his younger years when he would have been the first outside when those fireworks began.

Now that I think back on it, since he DID finally agree to accompany us, if we had simply allowed him to enjoy himself in his own way and enjoyed ourselves in our own way, we all would have had a better time.

 

[WNC Gal]

We have certainly learned to buy "trip insurance" for EVERY trip we book - we have learned the hard way. Most of those policies have exclusions for "mental health" related illnesses, but we submitted a generic letter from her psychiatrist just stating that she was in a hospital and would not be well enough to go on a recent trip and got a refund from the airlines.

We will indeed be planning our family trips in the near future by car so we have the ultimate flexibility "just in case". It is amazing how easy long road trips can become once you get accustomed to them. The kids watch DVD movie players with headphones, we listen to audio books on CD (rented from Cracker Barrel) and we do not stop for meals - but instead eat whenever we wish from coolers packed with healthy snacks. Much more fun than sitting around in airports with lots of noisy strangers who are usually coughing up a storm and violating your personal space!