Re: My 5 year old is going to be kicked out of KINDERGARTEN!

[mumtoconnor]

I'm just came across your issue as I was searching for an answer for mine. I thought I was reading something I posted! The only differnce is that my son DID get suspended from kindergarten! He was born June 24 and he had to go to K this year. It's mandatory. He started preschool at 3.5 for half a year, then a full year of preschool last year. The 1st one had issues, and the 2nd one said he was a polite and mannerly boy and acted like a normal 4 year old boy. Then K started, and everyday for the past 2 months, we've had book of his behavior issues come home everyday. Some are pretty bad, like throwing rocks, pushing kids up against a fence, spitting on kids, but some things are petty, like calling kids "poopy head". We've been to a neurologist and he has been tested with a team of specialists for Autism. What my husband and I are thinking is that he is wanting attention and that's his way of getting it. The teachers have tried positve behavior rewards and so have we. We are on the waiting list to see a psychologist, but that could take up to a year. We are also going to have a meeting with his teacher and principal this week. Maybe it's something the school is or isn't doing... Anyway, I'm of no help to you, but found it interesting that we are going through the same thing! oh- And his pedi and fam doctor both say it's because he's an only child, hasn't been around kids enough and that he's immature. But the school is saying it's something different. Both are professionals, so I don't know what to do!!!

Also, I am debating about his diet. Can't imagine what has changed, but am thinking of walking down the road of removing alot of allergy foods from his diet and then reintroducing them, but I have to do a bit more research on it... He doen't eat alot of junk or candy. Very little. And nothing that I can see that has red dyes in it... (Most of his Halloween candy wn into the garbage).

 

[buddy]

Hi there, you have put a post on an old thread. I am sure many folks here would love to talk to you... If you could go to the spot either in "general parenting" or "Special Education" or early childhood, which ever you prefer, and click on add new thread...

you can just copy and paste this and then I would imagine many others will chime in.

Also, if you go under settings and create a signature, then we will be able to follow you easier and reply more specifically.

So, welcome and I am glad you found this board. It is a wonderfully supportive place.

(ps, my son was suspended in kindergarten too.... we can talk!)

hugs, Buddy

 

[SRL]

Welcome to our forum, mumtoconnor. I can move your post to a new thread if you'd like or it can continue here. Let me know.

 

[TT73]

Hello my son is about to get kicked out of kindergarten. He is extremely smart but lacks social skills, hits and runs away from his class. His teacher said he disrupts the class. Help!!! What can I do? What should I do?

 

[ksm]

Hello TT73... you've posted on an old nessage and I'm sorry you have not received any responses.

Cam you tell us more about your child's situation? Has anything in his life changed recently? Do you see these behaviors at hone?

Is there any family history for mental health issues?

Maybe a good place to start is with your child's teacher. Do they have any suggestions?

 

[Nandina]

Hi TT73, and welcome. You might have better responses if you start a separate thread but glad you found us.

Your son son sounds a lot like my son (now 21) when he was in kindergarten and first grade. My son is adopted and had a rough start in life. His mother abused drugs and alcohol while she was pregnant with him. He had absolutely no social skills when we got him at 3 years, nine months and was on the level of about a 2 year old. He would grab toys away from other children, hit, run away, you name it.

By the end of first grade I had had it with the teachers who treated him like some kind of alien and found a public school in our district that helped children with issues like his. The classes were very small, he had the same teacher and classmates from 2nd-5th grade, and then the same one for middle school, 6th-8th grade. There were social skills elements, mental health assistance in the classroom and it was the best thing we ever did for him. As he progressed, he was placed in regular ed classes.

By high school, he was in the same program, was able to function in regular ed classes but a Special Education teacher oversaw his work and assisted when necessary.

Does your school district offer any such program? Have you checked into any private schools that may offer the same type of services? I’m not sure what your financial situation is, but I would do everything I could to get him out of that school. The teachers often don’t know how to handle kids like ours and they end up making them feel bad about themselves because they’re constantly getting into trouble. I could tell you some stories! It was a nightmare for both of us before I got him into that program.

Is this your child’s first experience being around other children? Is there anything in his background that could explain some of this behavior? Does he behave like this at home or in other settings? It could be something as simple as just being immature to possibly being on the autism spectrum, but I would suggest getting him evaluated by a child psychologist or other professional. The school should offer those services but are often reluctant to provide them. If you can afford it, I would look to an outside source in addition to what the school may provide. Also, does he have an IEP? That is often the first step toward getting services from the school.

As one who has been there, I will tell you—You will have to fight for services for your son! Bring on your best momma bear attitude because you will need it. I feel for you. Our public school systems do not make it easy for those of us who have challenging children.

Please keep posting and let us know what you have done so far in the way of getting him assistance and maybe provide a few more details about his life and behavior. There is lots of good advice here from parents who have been in the trenches. Wishing you the best.

 

[good vibes]

Thanks for your bravery, Doelly. It takes courage to come forward and ask for advice. It's a wise thing to do - likewise, you've done the right thing by engaging a psychologist. At age 5, unless symptoms are very typical, a skilled psychologist might be reluctant to diagnose ADHD or ODD. There is a possibility that your son is exhibiting bad behavior for other reasons (latent trauma, feeling of abandonment, powerlessness); a therapist might utilize 'talk therapy' in these scenarios to allow him to express his feelings and emotions.

As you can see from the forum, there is some scepticism about psychologists. Sadly, there is a school of 'diagnose and medicate' that has attracted particular scorn to the profession. Many paediatric psychologists are leery of labelling too quickly and prefer to make attempts to 'heal' first. If you've had 4 or 5 sessions with this psychologist and haven't noticed a positive change, it might be time to consider finding an alternate psychologist. Your son should 'bond' with his therapist and be excited about appointments. They should enjoy 'rapport'. Boys sometimes respond differently with male psychologists so consider a man for your next choice.

Finally, we've all been there and it's terrible. You're doing the right things, just keep going, things will get better.