B
bigbear11
Guest
This is so frustrating... putting it mildly. I am writing this after a 2 hr rage with TRex. I don't understand what happened.
Her big sister was in town over the weekend and we expected an issue when she left, which we got. Got ugly Sunday night. A big part of the responsibility for that lays at husband and mine feet. We were tired and after 30 minutes we lost it as well. Not good I know and not proud of myself.
But Monday and today, things were great. She was super excited to show me a finished project from school which she had done a great job on. She had been going 90 mph (almost manic like). When we were finishing supper, she went in to see the cat (we were adopted by a pregnant stray about a month ago). I could here the cat making weird noises telling TRex to stop. So I went in to se what was happening.
She wasn't hurting the cat but definately doing things the cat didn't like and not being particularly gentle. Asked her nicely to stop that the cat didn't like that and we had to be careful of the kittens... NO! Shutup! I hate you! WTH did that come from. From then she started to be rough with the cat and when it went to hide (smart cat) spent the next 30 minutes screaming and trying to find her. she was slamming things in the house and hitting, pinching, kicking me. She wasn't trying to take breaths or anything to calm down. We were afread she would hurt the cat or break somethin in the house plus when she starts the violence toward us we ended up restraining her on the floor just by putting me leg or legs over her middle. Found that still allows movement but she can't hurt herself or us. She hates that but sometimes it is the only choice as she will follow kicking etc. When it gets to that point she is totally irrational and almost like an animal. I would love it if she would be enough in control or have the want to... sometimes I am unsure which it is... to feel it coming and go to her room on outside to calm. Anyway after about an hour, she seemed to calm down so went for a walk with her dad. Seemed OK when got back, petting Kitty gently. Then wanted to go for walk with me... she rides her bike. Normally she is great about staying to the side of the road in our subdivision. Not today... she purposefully was riding down the middle with the whole "you can't catch me or make me" thing going. Needless to say she made it back to the house before me and started being rough with the cat... and it started all over again. I did really well for an hour or so not engaging her and talking softly not rising to any bait she threw out but after an hour (of round #2) I tend to get snarky back which i KNOW is not the way to go.
So now she is upstairs... had to use threats to get her there but to be honest we didn't want to be around her after all that. Sometimes she gets really silly after a rage... like it was all funny... NOT. This is hard for me to deal with because all the horrible words and I hate you, your both stupid, etc. coming from a 9 yr old is not funny to me... especially giving all the S**T we put up with. So she has lost TV for tonight and all day tomorrow plus her favorite new toy is put up for at least 2 days. Don't know if this is the right thing to do or not. But when she starts the laughing "yes it is funny" routine... what patience I have leaves soon after. I tend to get the attitude of we'll see if it is still funny over the next few days.
Just so don't understand how it comes out of nowhere. Suppose there was a trigger somewhere but we didn't see this coming. Plus me husband has pretty much disengaged from any discipline as he has less patience than I and thinks that she is doing this on purpose and that she could control it if she wante. Sometimes I am not sure that I disagree with him. We went thru 4 months late last year with a easy child... when she started to get frustrated she would go to a place to calm down. It was heaven. With no medication change, things hit the fan again around December and has been on the same path since with at least 1 or 2 rages a week. Hard to see how she could go that long using breathing and really trying to control herself to not even making the effort.
Sorry for the rambling... just a really rough night.
Her big sister was in town over the weekend and we expected an issue when she left, which we got. Got ugly Sunday night. A big part of the responsibility for that lays at husband and mine feet. We were tired and after 30 minutes we lost it as well. Not good I know and not proud of myself.
But Monday and today, things were great. She was super excited to show me a finished project from school which she had done a great job on. She had been going 90 mph (almost manic like). When we were finishing supper, she went in to see the cat (we were adopted by a pregnant stray about a month ago). I could here the cat making weird noises telling TRex to stop. So I went in to se what was happening.
She wasn't hurting the cat but definately doing things the cat didn't like and not being particularly gentle. Asked her nicely to stop that the cat didn't like that and we had to be careful of the kittens... NO! Shutup! I hate you! WTH did that come from. From then she started to be rough with the cat and when it went to hide (smart cat) spent the next 30 minutes screaming and trying to find her. she was slamming things in the house and hitting, pinching, kicking me. She wasn't trying to take breaths or anything to calm down. We were afread she would hurt the cat or break somethin in the house plus when she starts the violence toward us we ended up restraining her on the floor just by putting me leg or legs over her middle. Found that still allows movement but she can't hurt herself or us. She hates that but sometimes it is the only choice as she will follow kicking etc. When it gets to that point she is totally irrational and almost like an animal. I would love it if she would be enough in control or have the want to... sometimes I am unsure which it is... to feel it coming and go to her room on outside to calm. Anyway after about an hour, she seemed to calm down so went for a walk with her dad. Seemed OK when got back, petting Kitty gently. Then wanted to go for walk with me... she rides her bike. Normally she is great about staying to the side of the road in our subdivision. Not today... she purposefully was riding down the middle with the whole "you can't catch me or make me" thing going. Needless to say she made it back to the house before me and started being rough with the cat... and it started all over again. I did really well for an hour or so not engaging her and talking softly not rising to any bait she threw out but after an hour (of round #2) I tend to get snarky back which i KNOW is not the way to go.
So now she is upstairs... had to use threats to get her there but to be honest we didn't want to be around her after all that. Sometimes she gets really silly after a rage... like it was all funny... NOT. This is hard for me to deal with because all the horrible words and I hate you, your both stupid, etc. coming from a 9 yr old is not funny to me... especially giving all the S**T we put up with. So she has lost TV for tonight and all day tomorrow plus her favorite new toy is put up for at least 2 days. Don't know if this is the right thing to do or not. But when she starts the laughing "yes it is funny" routine... what patience I have leaves soon after. I tend to get the attitude of we'll see if it is still funny over the next few days.
Just so don't understand how it comes out of nowhere. Suppose there was a trigger somewhere but we didn't see this coming. Plus me husband has pretty much disengaged from any discipline as he has less patience than I and thinks that she is doing this on purpose and that she could control it if she wante. Sometimes I am not sure that I disagree with him. We went thru 4 months late last year with a easy child... when she started to get frustrated she would go to a place to calm down. It was heaven. With no medication change, things hit the fan again around December and has been on the same path since with at least 1 or 2 rages a week. Hard to see how she could go that long using breathing and really trying to control herself to not even making the effort.
Sorry for the rambling... just a really rough night.