Really Worried About My Mom

susiestar

Roll With It
My mom has had a lump in her abdomen for a while now. It can be very painful at times. She had to have a routine colonoscopy in July. Before the test, she had a CT scan of her abdomen. About 2 weeks after the test, her doctor's nurse called. The doctor was going on vacation, but he wanted her to call the transplant center and make an appointment.

I am rather freaked out by this. I am not as worried as I could be, because they put her appointment off until October (appointment was made in July). Mom has a liver disease (not caused by drinking) and it sounds like it has really progressed.

Part of what is upsetting to me is that I know my mother will likely refuse a transplant. She says she has lived a long, full life (she just turned 75). If a liver came available, she would want to send it to a younger person who would get more use out of it. This is going to end up in a big fight with my brother. Mom's medical power of attorney/living will is out of date. The person designated to make the decisions died a couple of years ago. I don't know if my dad will fight for her to have a transplant or not. I know that my brother won't care what she wants at the end of her life. He will want all the machines and things. And he will get ugly even though we all know she doesn't want any of that.

I am just not ready to go through this. Not just a year after Hubby died.
 

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry, Susie. If you can get your mom to update her wishes, that might help with your brother - or not - it probably wouldn't help with mine. Fortunately, I have both POA and Medical POA for my mom. It's so hard. Many hugs.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry that you have to go through this now. I think KTMom makes sense. When my mother became ill together we worked with her attorney to update her care directives. It gave both of us a sense of security that we did not have before.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
I have a close friend from church who had a kidney transplant back in June. She had the same feeling about letting a younger person have the kidney, her doctor told her that younger people will get a kidney from a younger person...and she would get one from an older person.

Then she was worried about the cost to Medicare, and the doctor told her that in the he looks big run, that it I is less expensive than continued dialysis. She said she is glad she did. I've taken her two a couple times to her post op appointments and she is going good. (It's a 4 hour drive). She is driving herself to local appointments, though.

I hope your mom will consider the transplant. Ksm
 

HMBgal

Well-Known Member
I may be wrong about this, but isn't the liver one of those organs that you only need a part of a liver? So maybe she would feel better if she knew that she might be sharing the liver with someone else who is a match? It might not be the case at all for her particular medical condition or how you could find out if this is the case. In any case, my thoughts and feels are with you.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Thank you all. I will update as I get information. She is incredibly frustrated that her doctor would not tell her what the lump on the liver is called. The only info that they gave my mom was to make an appointment with the transplant center. No message about what is on the CT scan or any idea what is going on. But she is starting to develop a lot of fluid in her stomach even though she has not gained any weight.
 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
Prayers Susie for you and your mom and that your brother will not interfere with decisions that might need to be made.
I am SO sorry too that you lost your soul mate just a year ago. I can't imagine what you have been through and how scary it must be for you to have your mom facing this kind of health problem now.

We are living in Oklahoma...if you want to pm me we can visit. It's been a long time. Please let us know how you and mom are doing.
Love LMS
 

Estherfromjerusalem

Well-Known Member
Susie, I also am sending up prayers for your mom. Please keep us updated.

I have to smile, thinking about the two of you, Susie and LoveMy Sons, together. I well remember when we were together at Fran's home in Texas, all those years ago!!

Love, Esther
 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
I do too Esther...fun night putting the names and faces together while sharing a meal at Fran's home.
Lol that was back in the day when I was pretty and skinny! You've seen me change a lot on Facebook but you still look like your lovely self. ❤️
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Thank you, everyone. We are still waiting for her appointment date. 2 weeks to go. She has some pretty classic signs of liver failure. One of which is accumulating fluid in the abdomen. At least it isn't terribly painful.
 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
Susie...how are you and how is your mom?
I will call you sometime this week. Was so nice to hear your support when you called me the other day while I was on my "rescue mission" for my son.

Love to you,
LMS
 
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