tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
I didn't want to hijack RD's thread so I'm starting a new one.
My mother got me high when I was eleven and it was a major turning point in our relationship: it blurred the lines and broke the boundaries between parent and child. That day was the first day I started to not trust my mother to have my best interests at heart. I'm very concerned whenever I see a parent actively allowing or enabling their teens or children to get drunk, high or have sex. Frankly, it makes me wonder if the parent is more concerned about being a friend or a parent. Children and teens will often get into things that they shouldn't be doing, but they don't need their parents helping them along. And trust me, your easy child will resent this one day and she will throw it back at you. She'll never forget it.
So man up and be the parent your kids deserve.
easy child definitely knows I smoke, and knew where my stash was because she's stolen it from me! The first time we smoked together, I rolled one, & she saw my hiding spot & helped herself a few days later. Of course, since she's out of the house it was an easy thing to find another spot.
My difficult child knows that I smoke, because they day after easy child stole my stash, I hid my roach jar someplace else where difficult child happened to find it the very next day. I keep it out in the garage. It is always locked, and difficult child knows it's off limits because she always rifles through the junk, bringing in old toys & such that were put out there for a reason. The day after I re-hid my jar, she took her mom's keys & went into the garage the next morning to find baby clothes to put on the cat. I just happened to put the jar with the baby clothes. When I saw the baby clothes & asked where they came from, I immediately went out to the garage to find my jar missing. I asked difficult child about it & she showed me where she put it. I told her what it was (she seemed genuinely surprised). Then we had the talk. I told her why I did it, told her it was wrong, etc. I took the angle that adults get to do things that kids can't; like drinking, getting married, driving, and so on, so I better not ever catch her doing it, until she's grown up. Pipe dream, I know.
I don't honestly know if difficult child really knows how to use it. She's NEVER seen me do it, but I'm sure she's picked it up from TV, just like how my Mom busted me cutting up chalk like coke & making lines. I saw it on TV, I didn't even know much more than that.
difficult child doesn't know where I stash it, because it was out of reach & sight in the garage. I also rotate between several hiding spots now (to keep it away from easy child). difficult child is a very smart girl, so I'm pretty sure she knows what I do after she goes to bed. There have been a couple of occasions where I went out there not knowing she wasn't asleep, and have been met at the door by her. I know I stink to high heaven (no pun intended) when I come back in, so she's smart enough to put 2 and 2 together.
My mother got me high when I was eleven and it was a major turning point in our relationship: it blurred the lines and broke the boundaries between parent and child. That day was the first day I started to not trust my mother to have my best interests at heart. I'm very concerned whenever I see a parent actively allowing or enabling their teens or children to get drunk, high or have sex. Frankly, it makes me wonder if the parent is more concerned about being a friend or a parent. Children and teens will often get into things that they shouldn't be doing, but they don't need their parents helping them along. And trust me, your easy child will resent this one day and she will throw it back at you. She'll never forget it.
So man up and be the parent your kids deserve.