HeadlightsMom
Well-Known Member
Hello everyone!
Saw this and thought of all of us who have gone through so much with our kids. Our love remains, even amid our frustration and frazzled-ness (yep, I think that should be a word!). We parents get lost in the shuffle so much -- with everyone focusing on our kids who are, often, burning every bridge in their lives (and sometimes in our lives, too). And if they're not burning down the bridge, they're burning down the house so that everything in our connected lives seems to be "on fire".
Well, I have no spectacular news to report from here. Still haven't seen or spoken with our son since last Sept (when he relapsed). Don't know where he is. Assume he's in town, but not sure. We have now gone right through Thanksgiving, Christmas and his 26th birthday (last week) with no real contact. We do swap private FB messages now and then and tell each other we love each other. But that's it. No other details. We know from experience that when there's something good to tell, he tells he promptly, proudly and publicly. Silence means drugs and crime.
We know this drill. So do you all.
But, we grow stronger in reminding ourselves that just as he has the power to choose his options, we have the power to choose our options.
So, we choose to continue our joy in other areas of life! Retirement (my husband just retired last week!), family and friends (who are present and wonderful!), grandkids (THE BEST!!), and decided to pamper ourselves with a nice extendo retirement road trip (3 weeks on the road covering most all of the Western USA states). Woooo hoooo!
Yes, we wish things were different with our son at this time. But they're not. However, we know he is alive somewhere and we know that we all love each other (just exchanged loving messages this morning, matter of fact).
Right now, knowing these things is the best option we have -- so we choose it. I sure do love that son of mine and I miss him terribly at times. But this is where I truly learn to trust God to watch over our son for now. It's my best option for health, happiness and sanity (she said, having tried a bazillion other things with mostly no success). I can't change him. But I CAN change me. And do so with love...........not anger at him or self-blame for me (believe me, I've done plenty of that in the past). Why? Because I want to learn to be the most loving being I can be -- toward everyone, not just our son. I'm not there yet. But I'm closer than I was yesterday and the day before that and the day before that! All of our lives are a work in progress!
We are not shattered. We are all a beautiful mosaic of strength! Let's remind ourselves of that often and never forget it! This choice is ours!
And now.............Mama's got a fun road trip to hit, baaaaabyyyyy!
Take care, everyone!
Saw this and thought of all of us who have gone through so much with our kids. Our love remains, even amid our frustration and frazzled-ness (yep, I think that should be a word!). We parents get lost in the shuffle so much -- with everyone focusing on our kids who are, often, burning every bridge in their lives (and sometimes in our lives, too). And if they're not burning down the bridge, they're burning down the house so that everything in our connected lives seems to be "on fire".
Well, I have no spectacular news to report from here. Still haven't seen or spoken with our son since last Sept (when he relapsed). Don't know where he is. Assume he's in town, but not sure. We have now gone right through Thanksgiving, Christmas and his 26th birthday (last week) with no real contact. We do swap private FB messages now and then and tell each other we love each other. But that's it. No other details. We know from experience that when there's something good to tell, he tells he promptly, proudly and publicly. Silence means drugs and crime.
We know this drill. So do you all.
But, we grow stronger in reminding ourselves that just as he has the power to choose his options, we have the power to choose our options.
So, we choose to continue our joy in other areas of life! Retirement (my husband just retired last week!), family and friends (who are present and wonderful!), grandkids (THE BEST!!), and decided to pamper ourselves with a nice extendo retirement road trip (3 weeks on the road covering most all of the Western USA states). Woooo hoooo!
Yes, we wish things were different with our son at this time. But they're not. However, we know he is alive somewhere and we know that we all love each other (just exchanged loving messages this morning, matter of fact).
Right now, knowing these things is the best option we have -- so we choose it. I sure do love that son of mine and I miss him terribly at times. But this is where I truly learn to trust God to watch over our son for now. It's my best option for health, happiness and sanity (she said, having tried a bazillion other things with mostly no success). I can't change him. But I CAN change me. And do so with love...........not anger at him or self-blame for me (believe me, I've done plenty of that in the past). Why? Because I want to learn to be the most loving being I can be -- toward everyone, not just our son. I'm not there yet. But I'm closer than I was yesterday and the day before that and the day before that! All of our lives are a work in progress!
We are not shattered. We are all a beautiful mosaic of strength! Let's remind ourselves of that often and never forget it! This choice is ours!
And now.............Mama's got a fun road trip to hit, baaaaabyyyyy!
Take care, everyone!
