Sad commentary...not mine but someones difficult child

[DammitJanet]

We have quite a few grown up difficult child's living in my area. Must be something in the water here.

Anyway, we found out today that a guy who lived on our road who was about 25 was murdered last night. This guy was a total difficult child. I seriously doubt any mental problems but behavior issues out the wazoo dating back to early teen years. Definite issues with authority and drugs, crime, you name it. He has been busted a few times for felony possession with intent to distribute of cocaine and pot...etc.

Well last yesterday he was involved in some sort of dog fighting episode that went bad. We can all assume drugs were involved too. They always are. An argument ensued and a fight broke out. The other guy pulled a gun and shot this guy in the back 3 times and then dragged him back to his house and dumped him in his front yard.

Nice huh?

The local difficult child's are all in an uproar. They dont seem to quite understand this is what happens when you live this way. Makes me sad but this is the future of so many of the young men that live around me. I have watched the news recently and seen so many stories from right in my area of stories just like this. And I dont live in some inner city area. I am in rural North Carolina. Its horrible.

 

[SunnyFlorida]

There all around us Janet! doesn't matter if you're in the city or the country. difficult child's are everywhere :smile:

It's sad that so many young people cannot assimilate into society.

 

[Hound dog]

Janet

We have many many difficult children here as well. And like you, I'm sure many don't have mental disorders, but way over the top behavior wise. People around here like to claim they're all "hillbillies". (the dirt poor families from the hills here) But no, truth be told they aren't really. Oh, sure, some are but just as many aren't.

Makes you wonder why so many of our young people are falling by the wayside.

It really is sad to watch them because most really don't have a clue. :frown:

I can't tell you how many I've talked with that actually believe that selling Meth is as credible as working 9-5 and pays better. :nonono: Guess that explains why we're a major Meth hub.

 

[DammitJanet]

I didnt mean it like inner city, inner city ghetto...please dont take that the wrong way.

My husband and I have a running argument about me wanting to move into a bigger city type area and he keeps saying NO...there is more crime, blah blah blah. Well phooey! Just look at what is happening all around us here! There may be more crimes in numbers but I doubt it per capita.

So when I made reference to city vs country...that was what I was talking about...I was just writing while I was in my mind.

 

[DazedandConfused]

It's everywhere to varying degrees. I live in a small city and we have difficult children up the wazoo. I work at a school that is loaded with them. Some of it has to do with socioeconomics and education. Still, as we all know, difficult children come from all different backgrounds.

Though, being typical difficult children, they don't connect the dots regarding how their lifestyles put them at high risk for being a victim of violence.

We had a couple of teenagers killed about six months ago at an unsupervised "party". An argument started, it got heated, and a gun was fired. Of course, drugs and alcohol was involved.

It's very sad.

 

[DammitJanet]

What really kills me is that in typical difficult child fashion one of them came over to the house tonight to talk about this tragedy with us.

Now this neighbor guy who came over tonight we shall call R. He is as big a difficult child as has ever come down the pike. Heck...he has a scar that is healing on his face from where he got hit in the face not too long ago with a machete! Typical difficult child, HS drop out, drugs, legal involvement, etc. Would so meet the criteria for CD! This guy is the local fence for stolen merchandise and in fact, if something gets gone around the house...he is probably who stole it if Cory didnt! There are about 4 thieves in arms reach of me and they basically run in a pack. R, E, K and J.

Now that this stuff has happened with Cory going to jail in april and now this with the guy getting killed, R tells us he has decided that he has turned his life around! He sees where all his bad choices were leading him...lmao. Ok yeah right. He is right with the lord now. He has an odd way of showing this. He claims to be on the straight and narrow now for well over a month. Hmmm. I didnt know the straight and narrow included getting drunk and high every day and not working an honest job! He points out everyone elses flaws and how they are gonna go down but HE is on the straight and narrow...lol. Ok...go for it.

difficult children kill me. Its not bad enough I have to deal with my own but I have the neighborhood ones coming here too.

 

[Hound dog]

I agree with you. I've lived in a large city. It's no worse there.

Per capita, down here I think the crime rate is actually higher than in Dayton. Hard to believe unless you live here. And the reason I won't live without a great big protective dog.

We just had someone try to break in the other night. Rowdy, the outside lab, freaked in his kennel setting off both the other dogs in the house. Travis came down to see what all the fuss was about and heard someone trying to jimme the door to the family room open. He turned on the family room light and scared them off.

I pity the person if they'd made it inside. Molly would've ripped them to shreds. The last one almost didn't make it back outside. That's 5 times in about 5 yrs. :smile:

Yet I lived in the guetto of Dayton for 5 yrs and no one ever tried to break in. (although we did have drive by shootings) :hammer: To this day my kids hear what sounds like a gunshot and they hit the ground.

We have a half way house full of difficult children (mostly developmental) across the alley. I'm wondering if their newest resident might be our man. But who's to say. We have serious addicts two blocks over, and a trailor court with more than enough difficult children to consider too. Still, those serious addicts and the trailor court kids all know about Molly's vicious rep. They avoid her. Which makes me lean more toward the new resident in the halfway house. (if it's anyone in the neighborhood)

But good grief, 5 times in 5 yrs is NOT good, especially for a small rural town of this size. And we live in a decent neighborhood.

 

[WhymeMom?]

Thank goodness for protective dogs.....

 

[Suz]

Scary! :smile:

Suz

 

[DammitJanet]

No one has ever broken in here. We have had a few things "gone missing" though. Please tell me why someone would steal an ax or a ladder? We literally had those stolen from our yard...lol. I cannot imagine either of them would fetch much for drugs.

 

[Sunlight]

geez oh man! this story is very very similar to one from last year. friends of ours...difficult child son...about 28 or so...was shot over dogs. he raised pit bulls in texas to have them fight. someone came to his house and shot him in front of his wife and son. our friends had a long sorry life with Joey since he was born. now they are trying to raise his son.
sigh.

 

[skeeter]

we see it daily here.

I think it's the whole "me" mentality. For some reason, a lot of people (not just kids) cannot think beyond today and what they can get out of it. There isn't any planning for the future, because there IS no future to them. They cannot understand the reason for schooling - because they cannot comprehend getting an education leads to a job that leads to a life. Instead, they see others selling drugs and driving expensive cars with 20 inch spinners and that's what they want.

If I had a nickel for every one of them that got arrested, got either community control or jail, and then tells us they want to "change" - but never do - I'd be rich myself!

Most of our problems go away by the time a person is 25 years old. They are either dead, or in jail for a LONG time by then. But from age 13 until 25, it's incredible the number of arrests, charges, community control or jail sentences these people can accumulate. They have NO regard for the law or rules - those are for others, not them. They see absolutely NOTHING wrong with driving with no license (or under a suspension) and no insurance. They see nothing wrong with breaking conditions of community control (and unfortunately, with our jail overcrowding and some of our judges, there IS no penalty for doing so either).

The ones that are obviously mentally challenged or need some type of psychiatric help, we do our best to get help for - but in many cases those facilities just don't exist. So they self medicate, then get violent, then wind up in jail, usually for punching the arresting officer that doesn't "know" them or their triggers.

I wish we could find a way to help them, but I'm really, honestly, afraid they are lost. We do our best to work with the really young kids to try and prevent them from following in their brother's footsteps - but that, too is hard.

 

[Scent of Cedar I]

It's like a nightmare, everytime I hear about something like this.

It always makes me wonder how I will react, if and when....

But you know, difficult child was doing the exact same thing when he DID come home again, every time.

The difference is that he was dragging those kinds of people over here.

Time for the Serenity Prayer again, it looks like.

difficult child has been on my mind so much, lately.

It seems like sometimes I forget how to be strong.

Barbara

:warrior: