Wow! I can't believe it has been almost five years since I have last been here. Some of the names are still the same. I guess if we made it to the Parent Emeritus level, it means we survived adolescence!!!!!!!
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Our difficult child turned 18 early this year but before she could graduate from high school, she quit. She has discontinued all her psychiatric medications. After all the years of diagnoses and testing, it finally appears that her main diagnosis is borderline personality disorder. And detachment is mandatory. husband is finally getting it. It has been a really long haul - she has been in and out of residential care and in trouble with the law.
She has recently moved out of town with a female friend she has known for a couple of years. But she never fails to call or manipulate when she needs money, etc. She is on and off with work - says she has endometriosis or ovarian cysts or cancer (whatever suits her) and can't work but she can take off to meet some guy she met on the internet and squander away $400 in the blink of an eye. She stayed at our house for a couple of days recently; drank as much liquor as she could find, went through our personal belongings in our bedroom, trashed whatever annoyed her, etc.
So, we have instituted some new rules. If she wants to stay at our house, she has to be on medications and in therapy - no exceptions. We will meet for coffee, dinner, etc. but away from the house. We do not answer her telephone calls after 10 pm.
She came back into town on Friday and all of a sudden, today she needs a place to stay because her ride back ditched her. She wanted to stay at home for a few days or I could pay for a hotel. I said I would do neither. I called a youth hostel and phoned her back with the details. Told her if she had enough money to come to the city to go night-clubbing, then she had money to pay for a bed at a hostel. She whined and got mad but in the end, she said she would go.
It is very hard to let go but difficult child has to learn the rules of life. And my husband and I are finally enjoying some well-deserved quiet time.
donna