lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Thinking of you lostmyson...
hugs,
LMS
hugs,
LMS
son going downhill
- Thread starter lostmyson
- Start date
I'm sorry that your son is spiraling out of control. I would not bail him out anymore. The only reason to bail him out was to hopefully get him to change his course, but he is making it apparent that when he gets out he will just get into more trouble. It's time t just let him face the charges and hopefully they can get him into a drug treatment program. I don't know about Illinois but I know here they really try to put offenders in a drug treatment program at least in the beginning, because it makes no sense to just keep locking them up and not getting to the root of their problem.
I hope you are finding strength everyday to detach just a littl emore. You owe your daughter a peaceful environment, it is not fair that your son destroys all of you.
Nancy
I hope you are finding strength everyday to detach just a littl emore. You owe your daughter a peaceful environment, it is not fair that your son destroys all of you.
Nancy
lostmyson
Member
Well, tomorrow difficult child has court at 9:30. My daughter's class goes to the pumpkin patch at 10:00. I have chosen the pumpkin patch. difficult child has been in jail almost 3 weeks for dui and damaging churchyard doing donuts in parking lot at 2 a.m. His public defender will not return my calls so I have no idea what we are up against. His bond is 3000, not 300. His buddy who he was staying with before arrest has asked me to come get his belongings. He has nowhere to go and I am afraid to ask husband if he can stay here. So peaceful without him. Don't know what his attitude will be but worried he hasn't changed in 3 weeks. Don't know what to do.
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Hi lostmyson,
I am SO glad you chose to be with your daughter at the pumpkin patch and am hoping that your son has had some time to think about his choices in life...and chooses a new direction going forward.
Thinking of you this morning,
hugs,
LMS
I am SO glad you chose to be with your daughter at the pumpkin patch and am hoping that your son has had some time to think about his choices in life...and chooses a new direction going forward.
Thinking of you this morning,
hugs,
LMS
lostmyson
Member
Just reading these posts from nearly 2 years ago. Worse now than then. DUI more drugs and finally stealing from us last year. Just got off phone him yelling needs to come home. Half afraid . windows open nice weather. Holding breath what next. Wasn't ready to detach but I am now. He isn't and is frantic. Live in country. 13 miles to town. How did it all come to this.
Childofmine
one day at a time
I am so sorry LMS. Sometimes when we stop enabling and detach things do get worse with them but we have a chance to get better ourselves. You know and I know there is absolute nothing we can do to "fix" them. Nothing. All we can do is let them go with love and be there If and when they ever get serious about helping themselves. Hang in there. When you get a chance please add a signature so we can have a better idea of your specifics. Warm hugs tonight. Lean in to this situation and work to accept it. That is your path to peace until he gets clean.
Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
To put in a signature, go up to the right hand corner and find your screen name, click on it. You will see a drop down window which has 'signature' in it, click on it. Write your signature as you've seen we've done at the bottom of our posts and when you have written it, save it. It will appear at the bottom of your posts and we will be able to remember your story and how old your kids are, all of your info, which will give us more facts to be able to be more supportive.
I am so sorry you are going through this. If you are fearful, then call the police if your son shows up. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. It is usually necessary for us to get as much support as we can muster, I hope you have gotten that support for yourself. This is a treacherous path and we need all the help we can get to learn how to let go and accept what we cannot change.
Sometimes saying the serenity prayer over and over again can help you get through the night.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
You may want to stop reading those texts for tonight. And perhaps block them. Keep posting tonight if it makes you feel better. I'm here in CA. and it's still early here, so I'm around if you want to post again.
Hang in there, get support, set boundaries around his behavior, do not allow disrespect or abuse and block the texts. Take deep breaths. We're here if you need us. You're not alone.
I am so sorry you are going through this. If you are fearful, then call the police if your son shows up. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. It is usually necessary for us to get as much support as we can muster, I hope you have gotten that support for yourself. This is a treacherous path and we need all the help we can get to learn how to let go and accept what we cannot change.
Sometimes saying the serenity prayer over and over again can help you get through the night.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
You may want to stop reading those texts for tonight. And perhaps block them. Keep posting tonight if it makes you feel better. I'm here in CA. and it's still early here, so I'm around if you want to post again.
Hang in there, get support, set boundaries around his behavior, do not allow disrespect or abuse and block the texts. Take deep breaths. We're here if you need us. You're not alone.
