Son is job hunting again

[Enmeshedmom]

Apparently he was too slow at performing one of the tasks that he had to do. He said that he was told by someone else that he was doing fine and he is really upset about it. Now he is talking about joining the military. I use to pray that he would not choose to join but all things considered I am all for it now. I’m trying not to make a mountain out of a mole hill, he has a little bit of money in the bank still but for some reason (the fact that I am codependent) I automatically panic when these obstacles arise and they aren’t even my obstacles.

 

[Triedntrue]

I am sorry to hear that you son lost his job. Maybe the military is a good option. I have 2 nephews who found a good life there and are strong independent men. Neither of them have done combat because of the choices they made. I wish sometimes that my son had done that as well although with his diagnosis i don't think it was a possibility.

 

[RN0441]

I would be thrilled if my son wanted to join the military. I think that is a respectable way to earn a living and they can earn money for college also.

I hope that things work out for him!

 

[Enmeshedmom]

I’m trying not to get my hopes up but recently he has taken an interest in getting in shape physically and I think that is because he has been considering joining since one of his good friends started talking about it. When he was growing up we thought he would be enlisted by the time he graduated, he always talked about it from the time he was like 10 years old. Then after the pot smoking started that went out the window. I think he may be starting to recognize that there is more to life than just getting stoned and hanging out. He went and got his long scraggly hair cut today and he looks sooo good. I’m hopeful this is start to bigger and better things.

 

[AppleCori]

I’m glad he is thinking about his future.

Getting a haircut sounds great!

Our young adult men with substance abuse issues seem to be lax on their hygiene and grooming. I always take it as a positive sign when ours looks and smells decent.

Hope he will keep on this path.

Apple

 

[Littleboylost]

EM

I am sorry for your news and I agree the military may be the grounding that he needs.

 

[Enmeshedmom]

Well, here we are over a month later and son is still unemployed. He blew through his tax return and today asked me for gas money for the first time ever and I told him no. He had plenty of money to get by until he found another job if he didn’t blow it on pot and junk. I warned him 3weeks ago that if he didn’t have a job before the money ran out I would not help him and I meant it. It’s still hard though. He had an interview yesterday, hopefully he gets the job. He tried to guilt me by saying “well I guess I’m not going to class tomorrow.” As if I’m responsible for that and not him...

 

[in a daze]

Welcome to the club, emmeshed. It is the hardest thing in the world to sit by and watch them struggle as the chickens come home to roost, as a consequence of their actions, or lack of action. My guy's been two weeks without a job.

 

[in a daze]

Just anecdotal...a relative of husbands joined the Air Force and is thriving. This young man has some sort of disability, Aspergers I believe. He was always kind of awkward and odd looking and was never able to make friends. Now he is stationed in Asia and looking at his pictures, I can't believe it is the same guy.

But a big difference: he doesn't smoke or drink.

We have suggested the military to our son, and of course he shot that idea down right away.