Copabanana
Well-Known Member
What a beautiful thread this has become. I want to one or two comments.
I would take with a grain of salt any diagnoses they gave. They are under time pressure and I am sorry to say, are not necessarily rigorous in their thinking. Some may be but there is subjectivity that goes into the process. The mandate of facilities such is to contain and stabilize, not a fine-tuned diagnosis.
You will get a good diagnosis, I think, in a Children's Hospital in a metropolitan area. Typically diagnoses are arrived at over time from a consensus, possible even from a team of professionals such as well-regarded psychiatrists and possibly a neuropsychologist and neurologist. The child, too, evolves, leaving behind some things, or developing others.
The thing to remember is that you are doing everything in your power to do. Each of us has a personality, a history, a temperament and an environment. We have a peer group and a culture. Your child may feel as if she was abandoned by her parents, even though what she gained was so much better. She may blame herself. These are factors beyond your control.
My son went through such a thing. He felt rage at his birth parents whose drug and alcohol use made him have to struggle. He felt rage because he acquired a severe illness from his birth mother.
All I could do was watch. My son has to come to an understanding himself about his life and himself. We all do.
That is the hard thing for us parents. To understand that so much is beyond our control and our power to help. And should be. They become adults first. Our children, second.
COPA
I have worked years in facilities such as these.
I would take with a grain of salt any diagnoses they gave. They are under time pressure and I am sorry to say, are not necessarily rigorous in their thinking. Some may be but there is subjectivity that goes into the process. The mandate of facilities such is to contain and stabilize, not a fine-tuned diagnosis.
You will get a good diagnosis, I think, in a Children's Hospital in a metropolitan area. Typically diagnoses are arrived at over time from a consensus, possible even from a team of professionals such as well-regarded psychiatrists and possibly a neuropsychologist and neurologist. The child, too, evolves, leaving behind some things, or developing others.
Diagnoses such as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are so pervasive as to be beyond the control of someone to override the effects. If she can pull it together, it might well rule out a diagnosis of a serious developmental disorder such as this. That I think is what Insane is getting at.
But Cedar, something was gained in its place. A lot, actually.
The thing to remember is that you are doing everything in your power to do. Each of us has a personality, a history, a temperament and an environment. We have a peer group and a culture. Your child may feel as if she was abandoned by her parents, even though what she gained was so much better. She may blame herself. These are factors beyond your control.
My son went through such a thing. He felt rage at his birth parents whose drug and alcohol use made him have to struggle. He felt rage because he acquired a severe illness from his birth mother.
All I could do was watch. My son has to come to an understanding himself about his life and himself. We all do.
That is the hard thing for us parents. To understand that so much is beyond our control and our power to help. And should be. They become adults first. Our children, second.
COPA
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