Style Denial...Don't hang on to your britches

[Star*]

Last night -

I grabbed a pair of DF's man underwear with the covered elastic wasteband. Maroon and gray. WAY too big for me, but I pulled them down and then got a pair of Dude's extra big jeans and a braided belt, then fashioned them around my knees. Of COURSE I had on 2 pairs of socks, and high top tennis shoes. I found some Halloween make up and by the time I was done I looked like the Crow smashed into a Geisha in the 7th house and fell to earth at about 100 mph. Of course I loved Janet's idea of putting on a shirt too small for me so I dug in the box of clothes that GCV mom sent me and with my top-heavy self I crammed it all in but not before I managed to shove 2 clip on earrings in my bra, and one on my belly button and about 4 on my ears. The on on my tongue made it difficult to talk - kinda sounded like I do after I've had dental work and since I wanted no further dental work? I took that one off. Seriously? Spaghetti must just be a hassle...I really love my Italian food...I envisioned melted cheese wadding up on the post like cotton candy.

I did manage to find some markers that would wash off and drew some of the dumbest tattoos down my arms you've ever seen. I tried to fashion myself a tramp stamp over the top of my butt crack - looked more like Kindergarteners gone wild...but the topper on my ensemble was when I jerked those Fruit of the Looms up like Thongs....OMG what a lovely look.

AND OUT I sashayed. (Yes you have to sashay - and yes, it does chaff) And with Witz' new name in mind I had my one hand holding up my one handed pants....and walked out - reeking of cologne....and said "This is my new outfit for pumping gas, and work, and hanging out with my son."

The look on Dudes face was .......priceless. DF nearly spit his teeth out. If he had? I would have made a necklace out of them....and worked them in as part of the outfit.

I had already explained to DF what I was doing.....

This morning....Thankfully? The earrings were left on the stand, and the pants had a belt....and the baggy coat? Well it's back on the hanger. He also had on regular sized jeans. Amazing.

Maybe this Saturday I'll go to Walmart. Anyone want to meet for lunch?

 

[DammitJanet]

Ok...for those of you who actually saw me in person...can you imagine seeing me with knitting needles stuck out of my hips! There is no way in hades that even a tongue ring would go through my hips...lmao. It would take some sort of torture chamber stuff. Maybe I could sew my pants onto my torso and wear crotchless panties!

 

[witzend]

Maybe I could sew my pants onto my torso and wear crotchless panties!

No! It would impress the kids to never dress goofy again, though!

 

[DammitJanet]

Lol.

 

[AnnieO]

Ohhh Star... I love it... I love this whole thread! I am getting some SERIOUS laughs out of it!

Was texting with BFF about clothing, he told me if his daughters EVER dress like Onyxx they'll get a serious whoopin'. 'Course he's a redneck, too, so... He thinks it is WAY too promiscuous. It has its place - in the bedroom.

GAWD... Clip on earrings... On your TONGUE?

 

[donna723]

I think it's equally disgusting to see young (and some not-so-young!) girls in the super-low rider pants with the butt crack showing everytime they move ... or with the low pants and a thong underneath that's pulled up waist-high so the butt cheeks are hanging out!

Do they make special clothes to wear this way? At the prison where I work they are very picky about how visitors are dressed - lots of rules. We had one young 20-something guy show up to attend a relative's parole hearing. He was wearing decent tan pants with a belt and a blue and white striped dress shirt with a button down collar ... sounds OK, right? But the pants weren't just down around his butt, they were below his butt, around the middle of his thighs! I kid you not! The belt was tightly cinched around his thighs which forced him to do this little Charlie Chaplin-like walk, swinging his feet to the side with each step. The pants would have fit him if pulled up where they belonged but down like that, two thirds of the pant legs were bagged up around his ankles. And the shirt must have been long enough to reach his knees because it actually stayed tucked in to the pants! Do they not realize how ridiculous they look to the rest of the world, or do they just not care?

I keep thinking how it will be twenty or so years down the road, when these kids have children of their own! Can't you just see them with their own kids, looking at the family album ... "Dad! Your butt is hanging out of your pants!" "Dad! Your underwear is showing!" "Weren't you embarassed?"

 

[AnnieO]

LOL no joke! Onyxx laughs about my colored eye shadow in high school.

Erm. I wear colors now! Match 'em to my clothes. Child of the 80s!

 

[Star*]

I want one of those tongue rings that are not real tongue rings now.

I actually got magnetic earrings once...they were pretty cool.

You just have to use what ya got.

Somehow though - the makeup didn't turn out right. Instead of looking like the Crow? I ended up looking more like Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) Caesar jonesing for a cup of HMJ meets Mary Kay.

I bet it will take me three years to get all the threads out of my......OH look at the time.

 

[AnnieO]

They have magnetic tongue things.

I'd swallow the parts. I can only see one good reason for them, which is so not allowed on the board. Magnetic would NOT work for that.

I hope the threads are cotton, at least...

 

[DammitJanet]

Well...that IS the reason for those magnetic tongue rings step...lol. At least that is what they sell them for! I asked and they explained them to me in extremely graphic detail...lol. Must have been some strong magnets.

 

[GoingNorth]

You can also get little battery-powered tongue jewelry as well...I'm sure you can figure out the reasoning, L oL

 

[Suz]

......please gals.......even the "hints" are bordering on obscene.

Please take it to PM if you want to get graphic; otherwise I'll have to lock the thread.

Thanks

Suz

 

[AnnieO]

Wow. Yeah, I get it.

Onyxx had a fake one in the middle of her lip tonight. Tried to convince Jett it was a new one, and then chased him down and told him she'd put it on him. I swear, separating those two has become a daily occurence!

 

[GoingNorth]

Sorry, Suz. Couldn't help myself. I'll be good; I promise

 

[DammitJanet]

Sorry...just pointing out the magnets are strong enough to stay on something like an ear or eye...or even maybe as a nose ring.

 

[Star*]

Sorry I asked.....really......no I reeeeeeeeelaaaaaly am. I get so educated here.

Maybe tomorrow I'll dress like Ronald McDonald. OMG can you see it now? Ronald McDonald with an urban make-over? (yeahhhh I know urrrrr laughin')