suggestions for making it thru Mother's day

[CAmom]

Don't want to turn this into a political issue.

Despite that, I believe that the traditions we've been brought up with and have passed onto our own children are so important. My father, who I feel is very wise, has made a point of trying to NOT celebrate "events" on the actual day (which has caused my mother much annoyance) including birthdays, Christmas, etc., so that we weren't so terribly focused on them.

This has helped me so much, especially recently, to not get too wrapped up in all the hype surrounding holidays...

 

[Kjs]

I will be working til noon on Mothers day, then back in at midnight that night. We usually go out to eat. It isn't difficult child that I have trouble with on holidays...It's husband.

 

[ScentofCedar]

I think if the day is important to us, we should quietly enlist the help of our spouses or another person in our lives who we care for and trust.

Do to get...help someone on Mother's Day and they might in turn help you.

Nomad has named the crux of the issue for us, I think.

Telling ourselves it doesn't matter when it matters so very much does further damage to our spirits.

And we have, every one of us here, been hurt enough.

As Mother's Day approaches, we review and review where we might have gone wrong, how we might have done better or at least, differently. All around us are images of motherhood successfully fulfilled. When what we get are the kids who see us on the porch and drive past without so much as a nod, when what we get are no phone calls, no flowers, cynical sneers ~ oh yes, we should mark those things.

And we need to learn how to bless ourselves through it.

And as I said on another post this morning, I am not above taking my comfort where I find it.

I must be a little out of sorts, this morning.

Good.

I like being angry, now that I am getting healthier.

Barbara

 

[witzend]

I don't expect to hear from M. That would be totally out of character for him since I haven't heard from him in over 2 years. I have not heard from L. I'm sure she will call later in the week and ask what I want to do. She did the same thing last year along the lines of she wanted me to plan something like going out to dinner and invite her along. Hello! She has that backwards!

I will buy husband's mom a gift certificate and a card, and send a card to my mother.

If I had my druthers, I would prefer to fuhgedaboudit.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Thank you for this thread. I dread Mothers Day every year. This year, I have the added "bonus" of it being my first year without my own mother, and Youngest being a new mother and needy selfish child all at the same time. I did get her a card, although it was difficult to choose one, I must admit.

I did send a card to my aunt, my mother's sister, who supported me a great deal through my mother's illness and death.

Mostly it's just a day I try to get through. Some years are better than others.

I'm glad to know there are others that "get it."

 

[Jen]

Hmmm, I just think I will take it as it comes. My husband is not big on holidays and not romantically inclined. I can always remeber waitng for a time that they would knock me off my socks, adn leave a lump in my throat, not going to happen. So I guess what I am saying, what ever will be will be.

Jen

 

[rejectedmom]

easy child#1 usually remembers and gives me flowers. She might not this year though since her son is making first comunion on Saturday and she is having a party for him. Working and driving the kids to dance and ball and helping with homework while trying to clean house and shop for food for numerous guests...I'd say she is excused! LOL I did buy her something nice for making me a grandma though.

As for the other three well difficult child#! nevver sends a card even though she expects us to go all out whenever she has an occassion. easy child#2 well he just doesn't understand the signifiance of special days. difficult child#2 has already sent me a letter from prison wishing me a happy day...UH ya think????? husband has never done anything for me says I'm not his mother. so I have no expectations and therfore any pain will be very much blunted.

Actually that has become my motto: NO expectations. The funny thing is they all say I have become such a cynic yet they never do anything to prove me wrong. LMAO

 

[KFld]

That is a good attitude. Have no expectations, then if anyone happens to do anything, you can be pleasantly surprised!!

My difficult child is coming down when he gets out of work. I already know he won't have anything for me. I would be floored if he did. He was here a few days ago and said something like, maybe I'll be able to buy you something, then he remembered he already spent his entire paycheck and won't get paid until 3 days after mothers day. Oh well. I told him his progress is my mothers day gift.

My easy child daughter is freaking out because against my trying to get her to see a few months ago that she really wasn't old enough at 17 to handle direct deposit and a debit card, once again she overdrafted her account and when her direct deposit went in this morning they took out all the fees and left her with $10.00 for the next two weeks, when she gets paid again. YIKES!!! She was in tears last night because now she can't get me a mothers day gift (or her boyfriend a 6 months anniversary gift, oh brother). I told her don't cry over money! She'll lose more then $200.00 in a lifetime :smile: She cancelled her direct deposit this past week, which won't go into effect until the next pay period and I told her it's a life lesson learned, try it again when you get older. I then told her I would give her gas money for the next 2 weeks to get to school and work. I know she'll learn from this lesson and believe me, I've helped difficult child through much worse financial situations.

We are planning on going to the Elks mothers Day brunch. My husband and I are both Elks and easy child daughter will come. difficult child doesn't get out of work until 6:00, so that will be my day.

 

[jbrain]

Hi All,
just wanted to let you know that I just had a call from Emily (haven't talked to her for nearly 3 weeks) and she was calling to wish me a happy mother's day. At this point there seemed to be no hidden agenda (didn't ask me for anything) so that was nice. She said she has to work tomorrow so she was calling me a day early. She says she doesn't have a regular job but is babysitting a lot and likes it. I told her that I thought she would be very good at that (she is good with kids and likes them). I asked where she is staying and it sounds like some apt. with others downtown. I told her if she wants any of the clothing she left in the apt. that I have it and she can let me know.

All in all, a pleasant talk but I have my guard up. Oh, maybe she figured she had better call to wish me a Happy Mother's Day since her birthday is May 26th--maybe trying to make sure she gets gifts? I hate to be so cynical but it is best to always be suspicious when dealing with her.

So, I know she is okay and she was thinking of me. Maybe we will be able to have some limited contact.

Jane

 

[Kathy813]

Jane,

It is utterly amazing how alike out difficult children are! My difficult child called last night to ask if we would be going out to dinner for mother's day. I said that we would and would call her with the time.

She told me that she was getting me flowers and I told her that would be lovely. Since she was a little girl, she has always had to tell me ahead of time what she, husband, or easy child were getting me for special occasions. I don't know why she can't ever let it be a surprise. It's like she wants the extra praise ~ when she first tells me about the present and then when she delivers the present. Oh well, at least she remembered and wants to spend some time with me.

But. . . in the same conversation, she announced that she knows what she wants for her birthday (May 29th). Sound familiar? She "needs" an Ipod nano that she can play in her car since the old car that we gave her doesn't have a CD player.

I guess giving her a car was not enough.

husband said a better present would be new tires and an oil change. I don't think she will like that!

Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow warrior moms.

~Kathy

 

[hearthope]

Had breakfast out with mom this am. Then we went shopping (last time we did that I think I was 14) it was a rough start but all in all she enjoyed it and I did too. I bought cakes for a couple of my friends, 7 layer homemade caramel cakes, yum!

husband gave me money in case I saw something for my mother's day and I did buy me something.

The softest flip flop style dear foam slippers with memory foam. ooohhh they are wonderful ~ I highly recommend them for your down time! and I found a wrap made out of the same soft material
I am going to get lost in them both tonight!

I know difficult child will not acknowledge tomorrow so my intentions are to get up early water my plants and lie on a float in the lake all day.

Everyone, including my mom, are all taken care of and I can just get up and disappear away from reality with husband. I think it will be great!

I hope you all find peace tomorrow and look for joy where you can find it!!!

Happy mom's day all you warrior moms!

 

[jbrain]

Hi Kathy,
yes, it does sound like our difficult children are 2 peas in a pod! Hey, my easy child son's birthday is also May 29th--he will be 23. Thanks for the chuckle this morning....Happy Mother's Day!
Jane