The fear that your child could die

[Lil]

Instead of hijacking this thread, I'll start one on the Watercooler.

 

[Copabanana]

Swot. Could you put Bart on speaker while you wash dishes or do whatever, and let him rant? I mean he just seems to want you to say: ohh. Ah. Yikes. No. Gee. For sure? Really? She did? You did? He did. Nah. Oh lord. Truly? That's good. I'm sorry.

Remember com did that? She made a list in advance of words she could use with her son on the phone.

And so right this minute stop taking his calls all day. Decide when and for how long you will talk.

You are giving yourself too much power. Listening to him day and night at the expense of your own well being will not keep him alive. He will keep him alive

 

[BusynMember]

The cat was a rescue so her age was not known for sure but vet thought she was about eight by her teeth. She was young. After starting Royal Canin and getting home saline infusions by me and hub she really perked up. The infusions did the trick, not that we liked doing them! She lived healthy for over two years. Our move to the new house started her sad decline. It stressed andascared her.

The last time we took her to the vet we still wanted to save her and he took all sorts of x rays to try too. It turned out her stomach had stopped working and her liver and kidneys were shutting down. It was such a hard decision but we knew she had to be in pain. She was down to 3.8 lbs. Called Jumper and she came from work and we all cried.
Our vets something called compassionate care and our vet could not have been kinder or more caring. This vet group is known for being amazing and the vet picked us off the floor.
It was a very hard day for us.

Our cat did really well with infusions. You may want to discuss this with your babt's doctor.

 

[Elsi]

Oh SWOT I’m so sorry. You took good care of her and gave her a wonderful life. Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is let them go.

 

[Copabanana]

I am so sorry SWOT. That is so sad. I do not know how I can handle this. I love my cat so much. She is such a source of companionship to me, and support. I know how pathetic that sounds. I love her so much.

 

[BusynMember]

Copa, for now he isnt calling me. Hubby and I are going to Chicago soon to see Princess a d grand. I have to just keep moving. I have such a good life. I wont let Bart ruin it. Not too much. He is on my mi d of course but so many other GOOD things are too. I need to focus on tje good.

 

[BusynMember]

Copa, right now it is in the shop getting any repairs it needs.

I CANT WAIT!

Thanks for asking

 

[Elsi]

Elsi. Did you bury your StellaLuna at home? M wants to make a coffin when the time comes and bury our Stella in the yard. I got a lot of solace from that. (I think). Except Stella hopefully has years left.

We had her cremated and I have her ashes in a little box. I’ve actually accumulated a few little boxes over the years. R and I decided in the spring we are going to make a new rose garden with a little path through it and a little bench and a rose bush for each of our dear departed ones.

 

[Copabanana]

I have to just keep moving. I have such a good life.

That's the right attitude!! Bart does not mean to ruin your life. You know that. He is just a wreck right now and prefers to make you a wreck instead of taking responsibility. Not too different than my own son. Just a different model.

You have all of the power. It's good he is not calling--and that you will be unavailable. That way you can decide the terms YOU choose for when you return.

Right now he is wanting to play both sides of the tennis game and if you want to even try to serve he breaks his racket and sits down on the court and cries. He is acting like a big baby.

So when you come back you can decide what game you will play with him, when and how often, and you can think about the rules. I would not tell him. I would make an agreement with myself and write it down and keep the promise to myself.

At least that is what I would try to do. Remember when my son was away two or three years ago and I was doing so good, doing that? It feels like a lifetime ago.

 

[BusynMember]

We cremated Kitty. She is in a beautiful urn and my daughter will keep her ashes long term. I dont want to bury her because we wont be here forever nor will Jumper live in her house forever. So buryi g her in our yard will leave her with strangers one day. We dont want that.

 

[Elsi]

We cremated Kitty. She is in a beautiful urn and my daughter will keep her ashes long term. I dont want to bury her because we wont be her forever nor will Jumper live in her house forever.

That’s why I’ve accumulated several - we didn’t want to leave anyone behind on rental property! But I’m in my ‘forever home’ now. I plan to be here until someone else buries my ashes in the rose garden.

 

[Tired out]

SWOT, Huggs from me to you. I am so sorry for the loss of your furry friend. Our pets are the best. I know you have the pups but I still hope you look into the eyes of a feline , feel the love and bring it to live with you. I go to the humane society to drop off food and want to bring them all home. Without my kits I would have a huge therapy bill!
As for Bart..grrrrrrrrrrrr. He is a fool.period. Please don't waste any more money on him. He will always have an excuse. Our son is also the master manipulator . Yours is manipulating you into feeling bad for him, even though it is all his own fault. Easy for me to say, right. I am still in the trap of helping mine, but I am on my way out of it. I set myself a dead line. I have decided if he doesn't make a major change by 1/1/2019 I am changing my phone number, that way to get in touch he will have to come to the house and I don't have to answer the door. Mine also likes to spend his paycheck on frivolous things then not know where the money went. He is self entitled. then ask me for help with rent. January will be cold without rent money.

 

[Tired out]

Swot. How long did you know she had kidney disease? How many years did she live after diagnosis? Do you remember the stage she was in when she was diagnosed? How old was she when diagnosed? What did you feed her? Did she get medication?

My (uh oh I was going to write daughter) cat will not eat the wet kidney diet (KD.) Only will eat the dry chicken KD. The wet is better because of the moisture.

If anybody wants to share counsel please do.
Thank you.

How odd you ask this..I never watch "my cat from hell" and yet last Saturday I did. The cat had kidney disease. jackson (cat guy) was saying that the main thing is hydration, try and find a moist food they like, he recommended the protein, chunky foods and to add hot water to make them more like a stew and then put it in a slow feeder bowl to make them work for it more. it gives them more of an idea of hunting for their food. the warm water releases the smell.
Good luck!
Mine drink a lot of water since I bought them a fountain..they love that game.

my kitten is a bugger and will only eat dry or the fancy feast grilled chicken is cheese sauce.

 

[Copabanana]

the main thing is hydration, try and find a moist food they like, he recommended the protein, chunky foods and to add hot water to make them more like a stew and then put it in a slow feeder bowl to make them work for it more.

She will only eat the dry kidney food. But she is drinking a lot of water.

The vet said to give her the kidney diet food. Wet. (She hates it.) Before that she ate regular canned cat food, like Friskies Pate. She liked that. A lot. Maybe I can mix Friskies Pate with the wet kidney diet food. (I will ask the vet.) But she is very firm in her likes and dislikes.

I am not clear. When I looked at slow feeders they were for FAT cats. I don't want her to lose weight. Are you using as a feeder the drip kind (like for water)? If you don't mind, do you remember the brand you bought of the feeder and water bowl? If it is working I will copy you.

I do not know this Jackson person. Is he on TV? Does he say they do not need the kidney food, and it is better to just make sure their water consumption is high?

I have read something like that. That the idea thing is homemade raw food with proteins such as chicken, duck or turkey. But my vet said their was no scientific confirmation this works, as there is with the canned special diet.

I had thought maybe I could buy/make raw food as a supplement to the dry food. I don't know. I worry about her so much.

 

[Copabanana]

Royal Canin

SWOT. Did she eat the wet or dry? Do you remember which one flavor she liked? My cat is rejecting the wet KD.

 

[BusynMember]

Copa, she ate both.

 

[Lil]

Maybe I can mix Friskies Pate with the wet kidney diet food.

That's what we had to do, and what we're still doing. She won't eat it unless it's mixed with Sheba pate and ONLY Sheba pate. You have to make the switch slowly. We did just like a teaspoon mixed in at first, then after a few days more - say 80/20 Sheba/Hills. Then a few more days and it was 75/25. At this point we've been 50/50 for several weeks, more than 25/75, she won't eat it very well and will just cry and cry. She would not TOUCH the dry KD but she will eat Purina...so we give her the "bad" purina when we're out of town for a day - because she also won't eat the wet if it gets dried up...so only a little at a time.

We figure mostly good food is better than no good food.

 

[Triedntrue]

Hi swot i read your post earlier but didnt have time to respond. First i am sorry about your kitty. Sometimes our animals are nicer than our kids.
My son does the same thing. He is dying from cancer, he is losing too much weight, he has stomach problems, sleeping problems, many more. He may or may not be ill but if i take him to hospital or suggest he calls dr. For some reason he can't go or doesn't carry through. I offer to take him once and then its sorry nothing i can do. Hope you feel better. Do I worry? Of course but if he is not willing thete is nothing i can do so i choose to let it go and leave it in Gods hands. You have done so much for your son don't let him guilt you into making yourself sick. Prayers are with you

 

[Triedntrue]

I also go through the abusive language and blame. He is blocked right now because of a misunderstanding where i dont remember agreeing to be somewhere and he said i was and then everything wrong in his world is my fault and the swearing, names , guilting began. I finally had enough hung up then texted him he was blocked. That was almost a week ago. I hope you are able to come up with a solution you can live with.

 

[Copabanana]

We figure mostly good food is better than no good food.

I spoke with the vet today. We are going to try another brand, Royal Canin and in the meantime keep giving her the dry KD. She is a full time job.

Why do all of our cats have kidney disease? What is this? The plagues?